I am having "one of those days". I am sitting here at school in the library, attempting to study my Hebrew for the test this afternoon. I can't focus or concentrate on it. I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed and stressed, and decided to pop online for a bit to take a little break.
I suppose lack of sleep is playing a role in the way I feel. The last few days have been jam packed with trying to get a book review done, study for a test (this one), regular homework and just life in general. So, I haven't gotten as much sleep as I should have (though it really isn't that much less than I normally get), and I think it is starting to catch up with me. Thankfully, I have no classes tomorrow so I can sleep in, hopefully.
Another thing that is playing into all of this is that my dad and I have had a little tiff. It's really nothing, but since yesterday evening (and even this morning), he's giving me the silent treatment. I've attempted to make conversation but he doesn't say anything. I think it is now to the point that he's got to be the one to talk first. I've tried. I guess this is something I need to take to the Lord and stop dwelling on it, but since this is me we are talking about...I am being stubborn today. I suppose I don't want to hear the Lord tell me to apologize (which I know I probably should do) because I feel that even if I do it wont make a difference. Dad is stubborn and will only be himself again when he's ready to stop being stubborn (he and I are a lot more alike than I had thought before). Anyway, this will eventually all blow over at some point, but I'm just feeling...I don't know...irritated that he's doing the whole "silent treatment" thing which I find childish no matter who does it.
I'm also seriously debating and praying about this Advanced Hebrew course. I am very close to dropping the course because I don't think that I can do this. I am forgetting a lot of stuff, I can't remember word meanings (though to be honest a lot of the words we never took so that part is understandable), and the parsing is not the best either. Mind you I haven't (as I've said before in other posts) looked at this since last April so that is a factor in things. I've also not been able to spend as much time at this as I could or should. Some of it is because I am, to put it simply, lazy and don't feel like working on it. Other times it is because my nephew is up and when he's up I don't have opportunity to get away and work on homework (he always wants me to play and doesn't understand that Aunt Shelley has other things she has to do). And, I've had a lot to do in my other courses and that usually means that the Hebrew gets put on the back burner. Maybe because I haven't quite found my groove yet for getting back into the whole school work thing is playing into this too, but it's been a month and I should have found that by now.
I think, after today's test which I honestly don't think I will do well on, I just might be dropping the course. It will mean I get a "W" (withdrawl) on my transcript, but that doesn't matter. It just means that I had to withdraw from the course. If I wait until after midterms and end up not passing then that would be worse because it would be "WF" (withdraw fail) and that wouldn't look good at all. So, after today I will figure out if I should continue with the course or not. I honestly don't know if I'd be able to apply myself more or not. I don't need the course (I'm taking it for the "fun" of it) but if I continue with it and get a low/bad grade in it, my GPA will drop a great deal and that will not help for applying into the education program.
Hmm...sounds like maybe I'm just looking for a good excuse/reason to drop the course. Maybe I already have my mind made up and I'm trying to justify my decision...I don't know.
Well, I am going to stop rambling on for now because chapel is about to start in 20 mins and I want to go and try to get myself refocused on the Lord. It's worship chapel today so we'll be singing and this is the most popular chapel so the good seats go fast.
I will try to get on again tonight to update or post something else, but if not, please pray for me in all of this. God bless you all!