Thursday, October 06, 2005

One Of Those Days

I am having "one of those days". I am sitting here at school in the library, attempting to study my Hebrew for the test this afternoon. I can't focus or concentrate on it. I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed and stressed, and decided to pop online for a bit to take a little break.

I suppose lack of sleep is playing a role in the way I feel. The last few days have been jam packed with trying to get a book review done, study for a test (this one), regular homework and just life in general. So, I haven't gotten as much sleep as I should have (though it really isn't that much less than I normally get), and I think it is starting to catch up with me. Thankfully, I have no classes tomorrow so I can sleep in, hopefully.

Another thing that is playing into all of this is that my dad and I have had a little tiff. It's really nothing, but since yesterday evening (and even this morning), he's giving me the silent treatment. I've attempted to make conversation but he doesn't say anything. I think it is now to the point that he's got to be the one to talk first. I've tried. I guess this is something I need to take to the Lord and stop dwelling on it, but since this is me we are talking about...I am being stubborn today. I suppose I don't want to hear the Lord tell me to apologize (which I know I probably should do) because I feel that even if I do it wont make a difference. Dad is stubborn and will only be himself again when he's ready to stop being stubborn (he and I are a lot more alike than I had thought before). Anyway, this will eventually all blow over at some point, but I'm just feeling...I don't know...irritated that he's doing the whole "silent treatment" thing which I find childish no matter who does it.

I'm also seriously debating and praying about this Advanced Hebrew course. I am very close to dropping the course because I don't think that I can do this. I am forgetting a lot of stuff, I can't remember word meanings (though to be honest a lot of the words we never took so that part is understandable), and the parsing is not the best either. Mind you I haven't (as I've said before in other posts) looked at this since last April so that is a factor in things. I've also not been able to spend as much time at this as I could or should. Some of it is because I am, to put it simply, lazy and don't feel like working on it. Other times it is because my nephew is up and when he's up I don't have opportunity to get away and work on homework (he always wants me to play and doesn't understand that Aunt Shelley has other things she has to do). And, I've had a lot to do in my other courses and that usually means that the Hebrew gets put on the back burner. Maybe because I haven't quite found my groove yet for getting back into the whole school work thing is playing into this too, but it's been a month and I should have found that by now.

I think, after today's test which I honestly don't think I will do well on, I just might be dropping the course. It will mean I get a "W" (withdrawl) on my transcript, but that doesn't matter. It just means that I had to withdraw from the course. If I wait until after midterms and end up not passing then that would be worse because it would be "WF" (withdraw fail) and that wouldn't look good at all. So, after today I will figure out if I should continue with the course or not. I honestly don't know if I'd be able to apply myself more or not. I don't need the course (I'm taking it for the "fun" of it) but if I continue with it and get a low/bad grade in it, my GPA will drop a great deal and that will not help for applying into the education program.

Hmm...sounds like maybe I'm just looking for a good excuse/reason to drop the course. Maybe I already have my mind made up and I'm trying to justify my decision...I don't know.

Well, I am going to stop rambling on for now because chapel is about to start in 20 mins and I want to go and try to get myself refocused on the Lord. It's worship chapel today so we'll be singing and this is the most popular chapel so the good seats go fast.

I will try to get on again tonight to update or post something else, but if not, please pray for me in all of this. God bless you all!


Maggie Ann said...

Hi Shelley...sorry to hear you are not having a good day. Tiffs are painful..we've all had them for whatever reasons. I'm praying for you today, hope the Lord soon works everything out for you. I can't begin to imagine the load of work that you carry with your classes. I'm sorry I'm so behind with being tagged by you. It's been busy here lately. We are working on our basement. Blogger won't let me go back to the 23rd post. but it will give me back in Dec. so I guess that will have to do. You take care...hope you get all rested up soon.

David said...

Bless you and we will pray for you and your dad. I am being attacked by a blog administrator woman on my site - so I have to use yours to get out. can you send me help?
Yes I really love Canadians, even though they talk funny
what school are you going to?

M. C. Pearson said...

Hey there...I hope the rest of your day goes better. Just wondering, why is it you are taking Hebrew? If you really want to know it and use it then you should carry on, enjoy it, and do your best. If it is only an elective that is not needed for your major and you are really disliking it, I'd pick something you know you'd enjoy. Just my is too short to not enjoy what you learn. But if you really have the desire to learn Hebrew then think about the joys you will receive even if the process is painful.

I'll pray for you and your dad. Boy, do I know about parent mother and I still have them and I am 38 years old! She'd kill me if I told you her age...but there it is. Funny how those you love can make you the most angry. You'll feel better if you apologize, even if your dad doesn't accept it. You will have done your part...then it'll be in his lap to do something about the arguement.

I wish you all joy in your home life and schooling.

Jennifer said...

Shelley, I guess it’s going around LOL! I understand “the silent treatment” very well. It was my husband’s method of fighting when we first got married. It took him a long time to learn that it is just as harmful as if he was yelling and throwing things. I need to get things out on the table and discuss them right away. We’re still working out those differences! And boy, I can totally relate to the stubborn part. Been there, too. Don’t fret too much about dropping Hebrew. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. You can always take it later, right? I’m praying for God to bless you today.

Nettie said...

Can't imagine how you get any work done when a cute nephew is so much more fun. But seriously, if you think the course is more stress than it's worth, drop it. And try not to feel bad about it, if you're making the best decision for you.

Shelley said...

LOL David...we don't talk funny eh...

I go to Atlantic Baptist University in New Brunswick, Canada.

Shelley said...

Thanks guys for your prayers and encouragement.