tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-127772762024-03-12T17:39:15.686-07:00Confirm The Work of Our HandsShelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.comBlogger490125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-24135848242808993822016-02-17T06:11:00.000-07:002016-02-17T06:11:31.248-07:00Depression SucksDepression, in plain, simple term, sucks.<br />
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I might not know all there is to know about this topic, but I do know how it feels. As near as I can figure, I've dealt with it for 25 years.<br />
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I've never really talked about it with others (only my fiance, best friend, and maybe a couple of other friends are aware of my depression). I don't even think that anyone in my family knows or knew I suffer with this illness. I'm one of those people who never liked to talk about it because of the fear of being judged, or told I was crazy, etc. I remember one particular time when I was feeling this way and being told be a few co-worker/friends to "snap out of it" or "get over it." That certainly made me realize that this was something I had to learn to suppress around others (or make up some excuse like I wasn't feeling good or I had a headache) or avoid them when I felt this way.<br />
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In the late 90s I was on medication for about a year, maybe less, but I stopped taking it because I couldn't afford it at the time (I had no drug plan through my job). For the most part, I haven't been on any medications for my depression.<br />
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There have been long stretches of time where I haven't felt the effects of depression, where it lay dormant, and I've felt fine - happy, even. But it always let me know it was still around. Sometimes it would rear its ugly head for a short while, other times it stretched on for long periods of time.<br />
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Since February of last year, I have been taking an anti-depressant. It has helped me greatly. However, with all that has been going on in my life over the last year, and more specifically in the last few months, I haven't been taking my medication. In fact, I have to get a prescription renewed because I let it run out. With the financial strain I'm under now (and for the past several months), I figured I wouldn't be able to afford the cost (again, no drug plan due to being unemployed) for the medication each month. I'm finding out, though, that I need to get this refilled. We will have to make sure that this is something I get.<br />
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I'm so very thankful that my fiance is understanding and knows what I'm going through. He's very supportive and knows how important it is for me to be on this medication. He says we will make this a priority and that I get my anti-depressant each month.<br />
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Like others who deal with depression and anxiety (though to be honest, I don't know if I have anxiety), I am tired of the stigma. I'm tired of the judging. I'm tired of having to pretend that I'm OK when I'm not. I'm tired of all the negativity people with mental illness receive from those who have no flippin' idea what it's like to go through any of this!<br />
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Depression sucks, and those who suffer from it need the support of others. If you don't have this mental illness, learn what you can about it and be there for your friends and family who do have it. It makes all the difference in the world to have support and encouragement from others.<br />
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Depression is not something that we can "shake off" or "get over." It's a mental health issue and it needs to be brought out into the open, safely, and not stigmatized. It's real, and it sucks.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-12950909742949247302016-01-29T07:50:00.000-07:002016-01-29T07:50:31.640-07:00Where To Begin...In my last post (last fall), I talked about taking care of my mom and how tired I was. That was all true. I was able to take Mom to Halifax with me for a few days at a time. Because of the side effects of the cancer drug she was on, she didn't like to go away from the house too long. She did great though. She didn't like sitting in the car for nearly three hours (each way) because her butt - more specifically the tail bone area, was sore due to her losing so much weight. She managed, though, and seemed to enjoy the drive despite being a little uncomfortable. We would take a little break along the way and stop so she could get out of the car for a bit, though.<br />
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One one such trip, around the middle or towards the end of October, my mom was quite weak on the day were were heading back home. She had called me into the bathroom to help her get up, and if I hadn't been there she would have fallen. She said she could barely keep her head up as well. That was likely because by this time she wasn't eating very much at all.<br />
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I talked to my brother, briefly, and we decided it would be a good idea for me to stop at the hospital once we got back to mom's (we stopped before heading to the house, actually) to have them check her out and maybe give her an IV to get some nutrients into her. So, I took her there and they admitted her. That was just as stressful and tiring for me as I would go stay with her at the hospital everyday for most of the day (I did take a couple of weekends off, though, and went back to Halifax for some rest).<br />
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She stayed there until she passed away eleven days before Christmas.<br />
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It's been a struggle some days for me since then. Of course I miss my mom like crazy, and life just doesn't seem the same. I miss not being able to call her or visit her. Several times I have seen or heard something and think, "I should call Mom and tell her that!"<br />
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And then I get sad, because I can't do that anymore.<br />
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My fiance has been great through all of this. He has been so supportive and strong. I am starting a new chapter in my life now, with him, and that's what I need to focus on (we are getting married this summer). I will always have my memories of my mom, and she will always be in my heart, but now I need to focus on this chapter and my loving fiance, and create new memories with him.<br />
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I love and miss you Mama!<br />
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<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-45041272316186528742015-09-17T14:21:00.001-07:002015-09-17T14:21:26.111-07:00I'm TiredI'm tired.<br />
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A few times I've been exhausted.<br />
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I think things are starting to catch up with me. These feelings come with the territory, though. But that doesn't make it any easier.<br />
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Taking care of an ageing parent is no easy task - especially when you can't leave that parent alone.<br />
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Mostly I have been fine, but the last few days I have felt the exhaustion creeping in. I felt like crying for no reason, and I just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. We have caregivers come in three times a week for three hours each time, but during those times I don't get any rest. I'm usually running around paying bills, getting groceries and doing errands. During the night, I do sleep, but there are times when I need to get up to help my mom so I'm not fully resting - at least not always, because I'm probably, in the back of my mind, listening for if my mom calls me to help. I do get a little rest during the day, though, when my mom is taking a nap after lunch. Still, I'm starting to get that overwhelmed feeling, that feeling of cabin fever (because I can't just get up and go or leave the house whenever I want).<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to help my mom, to be here for her. But I could really use some extra help, someone to come stay with her for a weekend or two or three days during the week so I can have a little break and get some rest and relaxation.<br />
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I know, at this time and always, I need to rest in the Lord. I need to give him my load and take His yoke (which is light). It's not always easy to do or remember to do. I need to make the conscious decision to do this. I can't do any of this without His help. Right now, I just wish I had a Bible study group that I could go to. I can't even get out to go to church (though I do watch In Touch on TV on Sundays). I'm not complaining; I'm just stating things how they currently are. <br />
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I'm OK, though. Honestly. I just needed to vent a little and have no other outlet at the moment. My fiance is awesome and talks me through things, gives me the reminders I need, and supports me. He is such a blessing, and I am very thankful he is in my life. I don't think I could do this without his help. I love him him to pieces.<br />
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Well, I must go now as I have to finish getting supper ready. Hope you have a fantastic day!<br />
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P.S. Prayers are always welcome!!<br />
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<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-46830693966232282362015-09-09T19:42:00.000-07:002015-09-09T19:42:36.622-07:00Faced With Another DecisionOnce again, I am faced with a decision to make. I feel torn between this choice and the choice of being with my mother.<br />
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I have been praying about this decision, this choice, and I must say that after discussing it with my fiancé and the prayer, I am leaning toward this choice. I have prayed and asked for wisdom and to know without a shadow beyond a doubt (due to my mom's situation), that this is the right choice to make. I'm looking toward my future.<br />
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Yes, I have fear and nervousness regarding this. But I am learning to trust the Lord over and over again, and this situation is no different from others in the past. <br />
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I am going to take the first step in this. I will never know if this is my path or not if I don't at least try. There are only three possible outcomes - yes, no, and later. I will have one of these answers regarding this situation, and regardless of the outcome, God is in control and will continue to take care of me and provide for me.<br />
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I will say that after praying about this, I have had a great excitement - something I haven't had in this situation in a long time. This has surprised me somewhat as I thought I had lost the excitement a year or so ago. Maybe the little 'break' I've been on has been what I needed to rekindle a passion, to jump start a calling.<br />
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We will see what comes of the situation. I will continue to pray and ask that if you are reading this you will pray for me as well. Pray that I make the right decision, pray that everything will work out, pray for wisdom and guidance, and that I will glorify the Lord and be obedient to His calling.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-45027099192558180622015-08-11T15:44:00.000-07:002015-08-11T15:44:21.481-07:00I Have To Be ResponsibleThere is a big responsibility that comes along with taking care of another person, whether it's an ageing parent or a child. Since I've not had any children to raise, I wonder if taking care of a parent is on the same scale? Is there more to raising one than another? Maybe it depends on the age of the child (or adult).<br />
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I've just begun to help take care of my mother, and I am realizing every day just what is involved. I need to make sure she eats (and eats enough), takes her pills, gets ready for the day, and has her bills paid - just to name a few things. I don't mind though. My mom took care of me and my two brothers when we were children, so now it's our turn to take care of her.<br />
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One thing that was pointed out to me, by my loving fiancé, is that I also need to remember to take care of myself. To me that is harder than taking care of my mom. For example, I will get her lunch or supper ready, and unless it's a meal that I make for both of us, sometimes I don't feel like getting something for me. At supper tonight, I reheated leftovers from yesterday for mom (there wasn't enough for both of us and I wanted to make sure she had a good supper). I had to decide what to make myself. Honestly, I wasn't all that hungry and didn't feel like eating anything, but I knew I had to. What good will I be to her if I am unwell from not taking care of myself?<br />
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I also need to remember I have a network of supporters to help me - people I can call on to pray, someone to go out for coffee with (when I have someone coming in to help mom), a friend to call, etc. This is an important part as well. If I isolate myself, the stress can still build up and be damaging. But, relying on others for support will definitely help.<br />
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There have been moments when I've felt rather stressed lately, but I've been trying to remember at these times to pray and ask God for His strength and help during those times, and to trust him. I can't do this on my own, and I need to remember that. When I do remember to pray (and even ask others to pray for me at those times), I feel more of a sense of peace, more strength, and able to get through the difficult times.<br />
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The next however long is not going to be easy, but with God's help I can do this!<br />
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<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-4919656064404895302015-08-06T16:53:00.000-07:002015-08-06T16:53:27.601-07:00ComplicatedMy life has become more complicated lately. I still don't want to go into too many details, but I will say that I am staying with my mom again.<div>
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I know the next several months will be stressful. I never thought I'd be in this position. I never really thought this "day" would come. But, it's here and I must deal with it.</div>
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<br />Today was a little harder, and there was a moment when I thought, "What have I gotten myself into? I don't know if I can do this." Then I remembered to pray.</div>
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Honestly, I think that is what helped me throughout the day. The prayer for strength, patience, and peace. I'm praying for Mom too, because I know this is a stressful for her as well (maybe not so much now, but there is some for sure).</div>
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I know I'm doing the right thing. But sometimes I get scared.</div>
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Scared of being overwhelmed with the situation.</div>
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Scared of not being able to handle things.</div>
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Scared of the changes that are going to take place.</div>
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The Bible tells me to trust in the Lord, and I do. I know He's got this whole thing in His hand and is in control. I know He will give me the strength I need to deal with all of this. I know He can, and will, comfort me. I just need to remember that and turn to Him during all of this.</div>
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It's not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I can do this - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."</div>
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Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-5759911959337068242015-07-06T09:42:00.002-07:002015-07-06T09:42:57.296-07:00I'm Not In ControlThere has been so much happening in my life since the beginning of 2015. In some ways it doesn't seem like a lot, but in other ways it does.<br />
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Recently my brothers and I have been dealing with my mom being in the hospital. That in itself is a lot to deal with. I've been travelling back and forth every weekend (there have been a couple that I've not gone, though) to be with Mom. The drive is nearly three hours each way. I don't mind the drive, but it does get tiring. I don't really want to get into much detail on here of my mom's situation.<br />
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Anyway, there have been times lately (particularly this past week), where I don't know what direction God has in store for me. I really don't know if I'm on the right path or if I have ventured off and am trying to go down another way that I shouldn't be on (or be on right now). I've been praying about all of this and trying to leave it in God's hands, because He, after all, is the one who is in control. It's not always easy, and there are times when I feel as though I have left it with Him. Other times I definitely know I've taken things back and I'm the one trying to be in control.<br />
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Mostly I'm OK, but there are times when I feel overwhelmed with the current situation, or I feel like I'm such a failure at things. It's probably at these times when the enemy is trying to have his way and get me to not focus on the Lord or trust Him.<br />
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At any rate, I'm doing fine, but just need to often readjust my focus and remember that I'm not in control. Most days are good, but I do have times where I feel defeated and lost. No one said that life would be easy. I mean, things aren't that bad. I am feeling tired and I just wish I had a little more direction or knew exactly what I am supposed to do.<br />
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Anyway, I'm just rambling on - probably because I'm tired. I just need to pray more and trust God more. It's not easy, but I know I can do it!Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-49305922611900817392015-05-20T05:47:00.000-07:002015-05-20T05:47:03.945-07:00Lots Going On LatelyThere has been a lot going on in my life lately. Some of it is related to me, my own journey, and some of it is related to one of my family members. None of this is easy, but then we were never promised an easy life.<br />
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At times, the situation with my family member doesn't seem real. Maybe because it's just early on in the situation and the progression hasn't begun. I don't want to say too much about this right now, but things will definitely get more difficult as time goes by, and I hope and pray I have the strength to get through all of it. On my own, I don't have that strength; but the Lord does and He is the only one who can give me what I will need to get through everything.<br />
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I am doing my best to lean on Jesus, to give Him my burdens (like the Bible tells us to do), but I don't always do that. I am doing it more and more each day (and more than I have in the past), but I'm not to the point where I automatically give my burdens to Him - or leave them with Him. I still find myself taking them back and trying to fix things, or take care of things myself. And that doesn't work, because I'm not the one in control.<br />
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God, however, is in control and whatever may happen (and whenever it will be), He's got me covered. He'll get me through all of this and never leave my side. For that I am truly thankful.<br />
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<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-68315501539999245772014-12-14T09:30:00.002-07:002014-12-14T09:30:18.964-07:00Only God Can Help MeI hadn't realized just how much fear, low self-esteem, and insecure I have become in the last several years - well, some I've had all or most of my life, but some has manifested in the last number of years. <br />
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Not until the past few weeks of talking with S. We've had some good heart-to-heart conversations and he's helped me to make some revelations. I didn't realize how much I've been holding on to, and I've been listening to the enemy's lies and letting him have control far too long.<br />
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I'm not going to go into details, because it doesn't matter on here. I will say, however, that I know I have a lot to work to do in overcoming my fears, etc., and, I have begun the process of trying to heal. I won't overcome all of this overnight. And I certainly can't do it on my own. Only God can help me. But, I need to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. I need to let Him work in my life and stop hindering Him; stop pushing Him away, thinking that I can do this on my own. Because, I can't.<br />
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I am adopting a key verse from the Bible that I am currently clinging to:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #8e7cc3;"><b><i>"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."</i> Psalm 139:14</b></span></span></blockquote>
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This verse is my starting point. This verse is something I need to remind myself daily - or as many times in the day as need be. <b><span style="font-size: large;">I am fearfully and wonderfully made!</span></b><br />
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<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-8208287277624673672014-11-26T06:00:00.000-07:002014-11-26T06:00:08.059-07:00Give Thanks For Everything<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSIeS4OCQJZ07HvFNMnrjF0TyInrcN_pp_4j5KkM5hsBHY1PWVw5ERWZK2LaT_CTbAnZIUys8-6TYWMSbGNUYPRhcEjjH7T9LlP2HQsxrXbc7j8skAj9Km71D-rsV8Iwosfl33A/s1600/011+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSIeS4OCQJZ07HvFNMnrjF0TyInrcN_pp_4j5KkM5hsBHY1PWVw5ERWZK2LaT_CTbAnZIUys8-6TYWMSbGNUYPRhcEjjH7T9LlP2HQsxrXbc7j8skAj9Km71D-rsV8Iwosfl33A/s1600/011+copy.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The Bible tells us that we should give thanks, to God, for everything. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Everything.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">That doesn't mean that we only give thanks when something goes "our way" or for blessings we receive, or things we have, or when times are good. Yes, we should give thanks at those times, and often do, but those aren't the only things we are to be thankful for.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">When we are having a bad day, when we get into a car accident, when we are sick, we should give thanks. When the bus is not running on time and we are late for work and the boss yells at us, give thanks. When a relationship breaks up, when we are expecting guests for supper and we burn the food to a crisp, give thanks. Lose your job? Give thanks. Get a bad mark on a test or report card? Give thanks.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Sure, it's easy to give thanks for the good and positive things happening in our lives. But it's more difficult when things are going bad - especially when faced with times of serious illness or death. We don't often see these bad situations as something to be thankful for, but it's during those difficult situations when we really need to turn to the Lord. These are times when we learn and grow. Those are times when we can thank God that He cares about us and what we are going through.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Often when things are going good for us, we don't tend to put our trust in the Lord. It seems that we (not all of us, though, as I know some people are pretty good about trusting God during the good <i>and </i>the bad times) more often turn to Him when times are tough, praying (and sometimes begging) for things to get better. But this is a great time to learn to trust Him, have faith that He is with you no matter the results of your situation, and believe that no matter what, He loves you and will not leave you during the dark times (or at any time for that matter). Be thankful that He is there for you to turn to.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I know it's not easy to be thankful during rough times - at least that's what I find for me. Those are times when I want to be in control of things, when I want things to run smoothly, when I want everything to be good. However, I am not in control. God is. And no matter what happens during the rough times, God will be beside me and I know that I am in a process of growing and stretching in my faith.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I, myself, need to remember and learn to give thanks to God for the bad times as well as the good. I tell you, I'm a work in progress and still learning, even though I've been a Christian for awhile now. It's an ongoing process and something I hope I keep doing for the rest of my life.</span></span><br />
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<span class="bible-item-title-wrap" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px;"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><a class="bible-item-title" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%205:20&version=NIV" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Ephesians 5:20</a></span> </span><br />
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...always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.</div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-42369359360493143632014-11-24T08:28:00.000-07:002014-11-24T08:28:09.014-07:00We're Just Starting On This JourneyMy life is changing. I'm in the midst of learning that my actions and decisions now no longer concern or affect only me. There are other people involved in my life who need my attention - my fiancé and his son.<br />
<br />
I am slowly learning that the three of us are growing into a family, and that my family no longer consists only of my parents, my brothers (and their families) and me. My family now includes S and J. Starting next July, after S and I are married, when I talk about my family, chances are I'll be referring to just the three of us. I think that reference might take some getting used to.<br />
<br />
It's difficult moving from a selfish lifestyle - one where I did what I wanted to, went where I wanted to, bought what I wanted to, because there was only me to consider - to one in which I need to take others thoughts and feelings into consideration. Instead of asking, "What's best for me?" I need to be asking, "What's best for us?"<br />
<br />
I want to do things that will show my new family that I love them. Sure, I can say it, but as "they" say, actions speak louder than words. I don't know what my fiancés love language is. I've done mine (words of affirmation and touch tied for first, and gifts was a very close second) and shared it with him. I've asked him if he would take the quiz and let me know what his are, but, he's told me he doesn't believe in "doing marriage" according to what a book says - or something like that (I forget the exact words he used), and I haven't pushed the issue.<br />
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I know marriages aren't perfect, and there is no single piece of information, no book, no advice that will make it that way. Marriage is a give and take. Both husband and wife need to give 100% to the marriage in order to make it work. I think that problems occur when one or both don't give 100%, or when one person feels like they are contributing more to the relationship than the other - or they perceive it to be that way.<br />
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It will take time to discover each other, to discover what works or doesn't work, and in putting my new family's needs and wants ahead of my own. We're just starting on this journey that will have bumps along the way, and I know that in the middle of our relationship needs to be the One whom we rely on. The One who will lead us. The One who will guide us. The One from whom all blessings flow. Jesus Christ.<br />
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With Christ in the middle of our relationship, we can overcome the difficulties and hardships together. But that takes trust, and that is something I need to work on.<br />
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I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with my fiancé. And I'm looking forward to our relationship being the type of relationship God wants from us - one spent serving Him.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-52136221024590920012014-11-20T11:25:00.000-07:002014-11-20T11:25:23.193-07:00Slowly Getting SettledI'm slowly getting settled in here. It still doesn't seem like I'm living in a new location - only feels like I'm just visiting or something. I hope that once I get a full-time job and make friends and go places with friends, then maybe it will feel like home.<br />
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Church is difficult in some ways. I go with my fiance (and his son who plays in the worship band) and sit with him. A lot of the time we sit with friends of his, a couple who are about ten years older than us. They are great. My fiance has also introduced me to some others in the church (mostly this was in the summer when I was here and I don't remember who they were or what they looked like), but no one, aside from the couple that we sit with, has ever come up to me to find out who I am or invite me to coffee or to join a small group, etc.<br />
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The church (not just the one I'm attending, but many) talks about bringing in new people, creating disciples, and that's great. But what about the newcomers who are already disciples? Don't we count? Aren't we worth getting to know and befriending? I think it's important that when new people come to the church, the body should be making them feel welcomed and connected. I don't find that happening much - at least with me. The two previous churches prior to the one I am now attending was also the same way. And it wasn't just me who experienced it. My best friend and her daughter had the same thing happen to them at those other two churches.<br />
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I do know there are some newcomers at my current church who have been made to feel welcome, who have been invited for coffee and to join a small group. So why has no one done this to/for me? Is it because the majority of the people attending this church are in their 20s and I'm in my mid 40s? Do they think I'm too old to be friends with? I do know there are some others in the congregation who are closer to my age, but none of them have approached me either.<br />
<br />
I'm a shy introvert. It's hard for me to make friends. I find it very difficult to approach people and make small talk, get phone numbers, call them, invite them for coffee, etc. It makes me feel almost sick to have to do this, so when other approach me, it makes things a lot easier for me.<br />
<br />
Do I have to step out of my comfort zone and approach others since no one is willing to approach me? Maybe, but I honestly don't think that newcomers to a church should have to be the ones approaching church members. I think it's up to the members to seek out the newbies and make them feel welcome (sure I've had a few people smile and/or say hi, but that's it). At the very least, I think the pastors should be doing this - helping newcomers to make connections with people in similar situations. <br />
<br />
Anyway, enough of that. I know I'll get over this and eventually make friends and feel comfortable in this new city. So far, though, I enjoy the city itself. Much bigger than the last place I lived, and I definitely like that!<br />
<br />
My question to you - how do you make friends? Are you willing to be the one in your church to approach newcomers and befriend them or lead them to people they can connect with?Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-71460664805115369572014-10-16T06:35:00.000-07:002014-10-16T06:35:12.613-07:00It's Still Not OverIt's been a two-coffee morning for me today. I have been rather tired and a little stressed at times due to a family situation that happened six weeks ago. It's still not over, though I'm not sure how much longer it will last - a few weeks, a few months...<br />
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I've taken the last four days to get some much needed rest and relaxation.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping out, but I also needed this time to myself. I do feel a little more rejuvenated, and that will help get me through what is hopefully the last leg of this situation. I'll explain more at a later date.<br />
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I do want to say that this has been the reason for the absence from my blogs these last six weeks. I had hoped to be more faithful in my posts, but sometimes things happen that take us away from what we had hoped to do. I will try to get some posts done up to transfer over to my blog for when I get back, and hopefully I will learn to get some posts done up in advance and schedule them for later dates to help in the times when I don't have anything to post. Maybe that will help in not having such long gaps between posts on the blog.<br />
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As I've said, I'm not sure how much longer I will be away from Blogland. Hopefully it's not too much longer, and hopefully I will have some (good) posts to add when I get back.<br />
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Until then, God bless.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-58772362349796957292014-09-01T05:57:00.000-07:002014-09-01T05:57:04.024-07:00It's Labour DayIt's Labour Day. Tomorrow, in most places in Canada, school starts.<br />
<br />
This is the first year since getting my full time teaching job, three years ago, that I will not be teaching. I've not had to go in a few weeks early to prepare and get my classroom ready. I've not had to go in for orientation or find a new (or keep the same) class theme. <br />
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I'm not working. I quit my job last June to move back to the east coast where there are no teaching jobs available. I have no car, which makes it even harder to try and supply teach - it's all hard to explain, but this is the position I am in.<br />
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I'm looking for work elsewhere, but not having much luck yet - though to be honest I only started looking a week ago. I've not heard hide nor hair from any of the places I've applied. In all honesty, I know some of it is due to being over-qualified for these positions (which I could probably have gotten a lot easier had I not gone back to university and got my teaching degree).<br />
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There are "lots" of job opportunities for industries for which I am totally not qualified - computer related jobs, even secretarial/receptionist (because of not knowing how to use certain computer programs), nursing, sales (which I don't think I could do very well), or even teaching at a university (which required a doctorate and I don't have that - I don't even have a master's degree).<br />
<br />
I can't afford to change my career yet again, especially with trying to pay off a student loan. If I can't find something, I might have to take some kind of course though.<br />
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In all of this, I do know that God has a plan. God will make good from the bad, and He will provide. I just need to trust Him, let go of my fear (which is NOT from Him and holds me back) and just TRUST.<br />
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That's hard to do. It's something I struggle with, I admit, but as I've stated before, when I made the decision to quit and move away, I felt a total peace about the whole situation. I know there is a plan, there is a way, and things will work out. The fear of not knowing, and 'what if' (as well as the lack of total trust) stops me dead in my tracks. <br />
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So, pray for me. Pray that things will work out well for me, that I'll stop letting fear get in the way, and that I will fully and totally trust that God will provide a way out of this for me.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-12775035778999909692014-08-27T18:30:00.001-07:002014-08-27T18:30:24.033-07:00A New ChapterHi there!<br />
<br />
I haven't posted in awhile as I made the decision last spring that I would move back home once school was done for the year.<br />
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I moved back to get married. Yup, I'm engaged! I don't have my ring yet, but we do have the date set for next summer. It's a long story as to how I got to this point and I'll eventually, possibly, fill in all the details at some point.<br />
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For now, I will say that I moved back to the east coast towards the end of June. I stayed with my mom most of the summer, but now I'm relocated to where my fiance and I live. <br />
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I've started a new chapter in my life, and let me tell you, it's scary! I currently have no job (though I have applied for a few so far), and there are no teaching jobs here. One of the places I did apply to is an ESL school so maybe I'll be able to get on there (I don't think it's part of the school district - more of a private type school). There's another ESL company that I think I will apply for. My brother told me that his "wife" told him that the mother of one of the kids she babysits works there and she is going out on maternity leave (and apparently there is another woman there going on mat. leave about the same time) around November or December, so maybe I could get on there.<br />
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As I said, this is a scary situation to be in, not having a job and having rent and bills to pay. But, I did pray about leaving my job and moving here, and I had a peaceful feeling. I'm trying to trust God and have faith that He will provide (I know He will), but yet there is still a part of me that doesn't totally have faith. I'm working on it though.<br />
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Anyway, I wanted to add a little update on here - you know, in case anyone is actually reading this. I wish you all a blessed day.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-13754605726196797072014-06-07T19:10:00.003-07:002014-06-07T19:10:48.417-07:00Connecting With An Old FriendWe first met when we were about nine years old. We quickly became friends - best friends. We were in the same class, but I think she had started coming to my school when we were in grade four (I seem to recall her being in my brother's class), but I don't know if we had become friends then. I do remember that we were in the same class in grade five, and that's where our friendship developed.<br />
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I don't remember specifics about playing together, outside of school, but I do remember going to her house or her coming to mine. I also somewhat remember her little brother (who was probably a year or two younger than us) playing with us sometimes. It's been over 30 years since we last saw each other.<br />
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At the end of grade five, my family moved to New Brunswick and I was quite upset about losing my best friend. Somewhere along the line, I had acquired a decoration for my bed. It was a red octopus made from yarn. It's tentacles were thickly braided, and the round head had been tied off (giving it a head shape). I put that octopus on the centre of my bed, tentacles spread out, and I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. Before we moved, I gave it to V.<br />
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For a few years, V and I would exchange letters via snail mail (this was before the internet, before email, texting, and Facebook), but as we grew older we gradually lost touch. Over the years I've thought about her, wondered what she was doing and where she might be living. When Facebook came out, every so often I would try to search for her with no luck. I tried to Google her name, hoping something would come up, but I had no luck with that either. I figured she had married and without her new last name (providing, of course, that she took her husband's name) I wouldn't be able to find her. I never really gave up trying to find her again.<br />
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Last night, we reconnected!<br />
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You see, back in October, I was searching Facebook for her again. I remember she had two brothers, though I couldn't recall her older brother's name. I was fairly certain of her younger brother's name. I tried searching for his name on Facebook. I came across a man with his name, but since I also hadn't seen him in over 30 years, I had no idea if it was B. I decided to try my luck. I sent a message with details of where V and I had lived (very close together) and mentioned about being in the same class, etc. I mentioned that I have been trying to connect with her for so long, and if he were indeed her brother, B, I wondered if he could put me in contact with her.<br />
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I waited a few days for a response, and after not receiving one, I sent a message to a woman on his friend's list with the same first name has V. Again, I gave details that might spark a couple of memories. I never heard anything back. I assumed I had the wrong people and felt a little disappointed. <br />
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About three weeks ago, I received a reply from the man I had messaged. He had only come across my message (and several others he didn't know he had). This was indeed V's brother, B! He said I should contact her (and yes, that was V in his friend's list) directly. Well, I became busy with work and was sick for a little while, so I hadn't been able to send another message to V.<br />
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Last night, V contacted me! My message had gone to her spam folder so she hadn't seen it. She'd been talking with B that day and he had mentioned me contacting him and said she should check her spam folder to see if I had sent her a message. She did, and then she replied.<br />
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We messaged back and forth for a little while, doing a little catching up, but soon she had to go as she had some work to do. We promised to chat again today, and we did. I'm not sure how long we messaged back and forth, but we recalled memories and people from the past. She had also wondered about me over the years and had hoped we could reconnect one day again.<br />
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I'm so thrilled that V and I have been able to renew our friendship again and start catching up on life over the years. I hope that now with modern communication being a lot easier than it was in our youth, V and I will be able to stay in touch now. I can't explain just how happy this makes me feel. I've reconnected (over Facebook) with a few others from my childhood, but I've not felt as happy as I am with this.<br />
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I'm so thankful God has brought V back into my life!<br />
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<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-25509487204410685592014-03-24T12:20:00.000-07:002014-03-24T12:20:27.487-07:00ProverbsI got back from Edmonton on Friday around supper time. It was an enjoyable trip, even with the long car ride. I brought knitting, though, and that helped to pass the time. I also worked on it at the hotel in the evenings after we had long, tiring days of shopping and browsing.<br />
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We are still on Spring Break here (we have two weeks), and I have no plans - except one day this week K, Little K, J, and I will be hanging out with the two Ks for an afternoon/evening of playing the Wii, watching a movie, and enjoying a meal. I don't know what day that will be, but I am looking forward to it. Other than that, I will be relaxing and enjoying my time off.<br />
<br />
I'm working on some knitting, which I'll discuss in my knitting blog rather than here, and catching up on my devotions and Bible reading. Today I read a few chapters in Proverbs, something I haven't done in awhile (aside from reading a few highlighted ones now and then as I flip through to find something else to read).<br />
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I thought about how Solomon wrote these to his sons, or maybe even men in general, and wondered why women weren't included. I stopped to think, and figure it is probably due to the culture. Men were the ones educated. Men were the ones "in charge". It was a patriarchal society, and women had a submissive role - they cooked, cleaned, took care of the house, raised the babies, that kind of thing.<br />
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Now, however, women play a different role in society, and these proverbs apply to both men AND women (and really, I'm sure they applied to women back then too). Just because it says for a son to obey his father and listen to his mother, doesn't mean that a daughter shouldn't do those things.<br />
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The advice given in Proverbs - and the Bible in general - apply to all of us. Not just men; not just women; not just Jews; not just Gentiles. Every single one of us.<br />
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The Proverbs are filled with good advice - advice we should follow. Advice I should follow. I need to delve into this book of the Bible more often.Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-4867100462280465192014-03-15T15:10:00.000-07:002014-03-15T15:10:29.392-07:00Just Popping ByI've been busy at work, but for the next two weeks I am on Spring Break. I'm looking forward to the relaxing that will happen! On Tuesday, I'll be heading to Edmonton with K, Little K, and J. We'll be there until Friday morning when we head home. We're also hoping to meet up with an old co-worker who moved there last summer.<br />
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I've been feeling rather stressed at work lately. I have a few "high maintenance" kids in my class and they've been really stressing me out. I've actually been ready for a break for some time now - at least a month, if not longer. In a lot of ways, I feel like I'm a brand new teacher again and I'm unsure about myself and my career. I've been doing a lot of praying and seeking God in all of this, but I end up second-guessing things and doubting myself. I'll get through it, but only on His strength and guidance.<br />
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I don't have a whole lot of news at the moment, but wanted to post a little update. Our weather has been really good this past week and we've had temperatures above zero Celsius (including today) and melting snow. We still have a lot left though, and in actuality, we could still get more snow and cold temperatures. After all, we are only in the middle of March. I hope this isn't the case though. I've had a taste of spring-like weather and I like it!<br />
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Anyway, just wanted to pop in and do a quick update to let you know I'm still around. I hope you have a blessed day!Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-50079152716728694532014-02-09T19:21:00.000-07:002014-02-09T19:21:46.844-07:00A New Look, A New Bible Study, and Possibly A New Self-DiscoveryI thought it was time for a new look on my blog, and this is the (free) design I decided to go with. What do you think? I like the colours, the brightness, and it makes me think of summer back home.<br />
<br />
In my last post, I mentioned about being sick with the flu. Well, I also ended up with a cold and it lasted a couple of weeks. Although I had a little bit of the cough left, it wasn't bad and it was pretty much gone. Well, last Saturday (about two weeks after I had been sick with the flu) I woke up to a congested cough and have had it for the last week. I've had a bit of sneezing and runny/stuffy nose with it, but it's mostly been the cough that doesn't seem to want to go away. And, Wednesday I ended up with my right eye being a little itchy and by the end of the day it was red and watery as well. No, I didn't (and don't) have pink eye. The redness has pretty much disappeared (except if I've been on the computer too long), but it's still watery and the itchiness only lasted a little bit at work - though I guess from time to time there is a little bit of an itch, but it's not bad and it doesn't last. I really can't wait until I'm all better again. I hate being sick.<br />
<br />
I decided to take this weekend to rest and hopefully get myself better. I've been catching up on some knitting (started a new fair isle hat), a little reading, and I've been working on the Bible study for the one we recently started for this session at my Monday night Bible study. Tomorrow is a holiday here (Family Day), and I keep forgetting and thinking I have to go to work, but I don't. I hope to do some more knitting and maybe some art journalling.<br />
<br />
In my Bible study, the first chapter is dealing with the verse that talks about not worrying about tomorrow (well, there is more, but this is the part I want to focus on). I'm a worrier. I think I get that from my mother. Part of the study includes journalling our prayers. I've written down prayers in a journal before, but just specifics like "praying for my cold to go away" and then drawing a line to write the date when it gets answered, as well as the date I record it. This one, however, is requiring much more than that. We have to write down the actual prayer we would pray, the situation, etc. So, while I was doing that, I made a discovery (it probably came from the Holy Spirit) that my worry seems to be rooted in fear and lack of trust. I won't go into specific details, but that is what I am concluding so far.<br />
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I hope through this Bible study I will grow in my faith and walk - and in other areas of my life as well.<br />
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Well, I'm off now to watch some more of the Olympics and cheer for the Canadians!<br />
<br />Go Canada!!<br />
<br />
<br />Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-24338981967374717802014-01-11T22:09:00.003-07:002014-01-11T22:09:59.200-07:00Pushing Through Sickness<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My BFF gets annoyed when people mistakenly indicate they have
the flu, but actually they have a stomach bug.
When you are vomiting and have diarrhea, you have a stomach bug. When you have a fever, cough, can</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t breathe
very well and ache all over, that is the flu.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have the flu.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The night before last, I had a bit of a raw feeling in my
throat. It didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t hurt, but I knew I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d be
getting a sore throat within a day or so, unless I was lucky and it didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t turn
into anything worse. By the next
afternoon my throat hurt a little more, but it still wasn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t
bad. I went to coffee with K, </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">little</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> K, and J
after work, and I mentioned it to them.
We had a discussion about the flu and how it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s making
its way around Alberta. There</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve also
been several cases of H1N1 in Alberta (as well as one case of H5N1 – the bird
flu, and sadly, the lady who had that died).
K asked me if I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d heard that and was now thinking
I had that (H1N1). I said no, but another friend and I had talked about it in
the morning as well and hoped I was only getting a cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, this morning I woke up with a cough (I sound like a
smoker at times, but I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t smoke, and neither do
any of my friends), a headache, and the chills.
I was up for about 45 minutes, did my Bible reading and devotions, and
decided to go back to sleep. I feel exhausted even though I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d had
enough sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I woke up from that </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">nap,</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I was
sweating and hotter than I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t know what. I think that might have been from having a
warm housecoat and two blankets over me while I slept, and I had put the heat
up to try and get warm. I checked my
temperature, and found that it was getting higher and higher. So far today, the highest it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s been
was 38.7C (which is 101.66F). It seems
to be going down now, though as I have taken some Buckley</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s Cough,
Cold, and Flu pills. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve taken
these twice now today, and will take more again in about an hour. Hopefully these will help me feel better by
tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The last two days at work, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve been
alone in the class, and my one E.A. (the second one has been off work since
before Christmas) was out both those days.
I wonder if this is what she had (I was never told the reason for her
being out).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I talked to K about half an hour ago, and she said she now has
a cough and fever as well. So, it sounds like she has what I have. I would imagine we both got it from work (we
both teach at the same school). Hopefully,
we</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ll both
be over this before we have to go back to work on Monday!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I had hoped to get a lot of writing done today, but since I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve been
sick and sleeping most of the day, that didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t
happen. I debated not doing anything for
the My 500 Word Challenge, but since I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m feeling
a little better now, I thought I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d see if
I could get anything done up. And this
post is it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-15502465156641158812014-01-10T23:14:00.000-07:002014-01-10T23:14:21.879-07:00Feeling Homesick<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lately I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve been feeling like I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d like to move back home, and often feel the homesickness erupt when I get this way. In fact, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m kind of
feeling that way tonight. I wonder how
long it takes for homesickness to go away after you move elsewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s only been nearly two and a half
years since I moved out here to British Columbia, but I often find myself
desiring to go back home because I feel homesick. That could be for a number of reasons –
anything from not having a car, or access to a car, and not being able to get
around and come and go as I please (I have to depend on others if I want to go
somewhere else, like shopping or visiting someone who doesn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t live
near my location. The bus system here also isn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t the
best, and while I might be able to get places in the evening – providing I
leave after supper – the buses stop around six or seven o</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">clock, so
I wouldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t be able
to get home), to feeling alone – and lonely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In 2007, I moved to South Korea to teach, and lived there for
a year. There were times when I felt
homesick, particularly after finding out my father had cancer – and especially
when I found out he was getting worse. I
also find that when I end up in a situation where I feel sad, upset, angry,
etc. I often feel like I want to be back home – not that doing that would solve
any problems, or that I wouldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t have any bad times
there, because I would.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think part of my homesickness came from the fact that I was
so far away from my home and my family, and I couldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t just
hop a bus or take a taxi, or even rent a car to go and visit them. It also could have been caused by being in a
different culture and not having access to foods/brands, English TV shows,
etc., that I am used to from living in North America.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In 2009, I went to Australia for two months (doing my teaching
practicum) and I really enjoyed it there. Actually, I loved it there and I didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t feel homesick, but that might have been
just because I knew I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d only be there for two months
and then be heading home again. When I did
come home, I found that I felt homesick for Melbourne and could picture myself actually
living there. Even now, five years
later, I find there are times when I feel homesick for that area. It seems weird that I would feel that way for
a place I only visited for two months, but Melbourne must have had a hold on me
or something. Someday I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d like to
get back there again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I really don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t like feeling homesick,
but then does anybody? I find it difficult,
when I feel this way, to get out of the slump it puts me in. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve had
nights where I would wake up and while I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m still
half asleep and my eyes are closed, have such a strong feeling that I was back
home in my bed there. It even seemed
that when I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d open my eyes, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d see my
room the way it is set up back home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d open my eyes and see that I
wasn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t there,
but I was in my room here, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d give my head a shake and
feel a little stupid, but it seemed so real.
And then I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d want to go back home
again. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve mostly
had that feeling after being home during the summer. At any rate, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d start
to feel little bits of homesickness creep up at those times. Thankfully, though, the homesickness doesn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t usually
last for more than a day or two at a time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Have you ever moved away, across the country or to a different
country or continent, and felt homesick? How did/do you deal with it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-55883419914659857752014-01-09T23:18:00.002-07:002014-01-09T23:18:47.789-07:00The 9th Day<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So today marks the 9<sup>th</sup> day of the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My 500
Words</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">
challenge. So far it hasn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t been
too bad, and I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve been able to get over 500 words each
day. Today it seems a little more difficult. Part of it is not knowing what to write
(though I suppose I could look at some of the prompts and ideas I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve
written down), and part of it is that I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m finding
it difficult to write when I get up in the morning (after I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve gotten
ready for work), and when I get home from work I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m
tired. So, I end up putting it off until
later in the evening (much like I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m doing
now) and feel like I have to push myself to write something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On the positive side, this little challenge is helping to
develop discipline in writing. I haven</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t been
focusing so much on the novel or any story, but I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve been
writing on my blogs. And even though it
might not be </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">quality</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> stuff, I
am writing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Mostly my posts have
been written on the fly, without much thought as to what I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d write. I think that is because I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m quite
tired by that time and I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m just doing the assignment to
get it completed. I hope that when I
have more time (like on the weekends), I can sit down and write a better
quality post, or add to my novel or short stories. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Maybe what I could do this coming weekend, is take the writing
prompts I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve got and outline what I could say about
each topic (or take a couple of them at a time and do this), or jot a few ideas
downs to remind myself of what I could include.
Then I might have some direction, and could write a better quality post,
rather than rambling on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I think right now with this challenge, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m just
trying to focus on the discipline and getting in the habit of writing each
day. Once this habit forms (or after the
challenge, even weaning it down to once every other day until I have more time
to be able to write each day – like on holidays and vacations from teaching),
then I could focus on doing more research for topics, more editing, or more
significant passages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just hope it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s this is not a case of </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m doing
this because I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve been issued a challenge and I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t want to
fail at it,</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> and then give up for whatever reason and not
write for large chunks of time.
Otherwise, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ll never get anything written –
well, except for some blog posts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, it looks like I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m going
to finish today</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s quota, thought it certainly won</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t be
nearly as long as any of the previous posts (or at least the majority of
them). I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve only
got another couple of sentences to write and then I can call it a night. Hopefully, since tomorrow is Friday, and
providing I take a little nap in the early evening to take the edge off, I can
get more writing done (or at least create a few blog posts that I can schedule
for later dates).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For the first week back to work after Christmas vacation, it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s seemed
long and tiring. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m looking forward to hopefully
sleeping in on the weekend, but for now, I need to get to bed so I can try and
get rested for tomorrow, otherwise I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ll need
an IV of coffee!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-44921868501322836902014-01-07T21:03:00.000-07:002014-01-07T21:03:48.146-07:00Oh So Tired<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, this is only the second day of the week, the second day
of the work week after Christmas vacation and I am already looking forward to
Friday – or at the least, the weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am tired, soooo tired.
Yesterday, Monday, was find. I wasn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t tired
during the day, but a couple of hours before I went to Bible study; I had to
lie down for a bit. I ended up falling
asleep for about 40 minutes. Had set the alarm so I could sleep for a little over
an hour, but I woke up about half an hour before the alarm went off. I felt better, and was confident I wouldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t be
yawning or almost falling asleep during Bible study. And, I was also able to get to bed around
midnight (I could have gone before, but I wanted to read a little before bed –
and I also had to read my Bible for the day as well), which allowed me about
five hours of sleep (pretty typical for me).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I made it through work today and didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t do any
yawning or feeling tired, which is good.
But, once I got home and sitting down, relaxing, etc. I soon began to
feel my eyes drooping, and that general </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m so
tired I want to go to bed</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Unfortunately, it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s too
early for that. If I go to bed now (or a
littler earlier like I wanted to), I would either do one of two things: end up
sleeping for 30-60 minutes and then not be able to get to sleep until 2:00 in
the morning, or I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">d sleep until 3:00 and be awake
for the rest of the night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">So, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m pushing on, trying to stay
awake for another hour or so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Another reason I had for staying awake longer, was the fact I
needed to do my 500 words for today. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m seven
days into this, and I didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t want to miss a day of
it. I knew I wouldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t be
writing anything spectacular (not that anything else I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve
written has been that great), but I still needed, and wanted, to do this. If it will help build a habit of doing daily
writing (or at least a decent amount of words each day), and even help me blog
more frequently – like I used to a few years ago – then I can</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t be
missing days here and there. I know for
me, it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">s far too
easy to just dismiss it because I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m tired,
or I just don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">t feel like it. But if I do that one day, it
will lead to another, and pretty soon I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">m not
getting anything written for great amounts of time. So, to develop that kind of behaviour this
early on into the challenge would just spell disaster for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I pause at this particular moment to check my word count
and think of something else to say to bring me closer to my minimum challenge
requirement, I am realizing that I seem to have developed a bit of a second
wind. Hopefully I will be able to keep
this up for at least another hour or two, and then I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ll head
to bed at a decent time. Hopefully.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And with that, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ve now
exceeded the 500 words – not that many, but still. I made it. And, hopefully I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ll be
more creative with future posts, rather than just rambling on about the day to
day boring things like this one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-70680254903955065462014-01-06T07:11:00.001-07:002014-01-06T07:11:02.682-07:00Rise and Shine!<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Today is the first day back to work after a two
week Christmas Break. I had been
dreading getting up at 5:30, but I knew it must be done. And I had to be sure not to hit the snooze
button for half an hour. I honestly don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t feel tired at the moment
(it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">s now nearly 7:00), but I
know that will change as the day goes on.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">And since today is Monday, I won</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t be getting home until
around 5:00 p.m. because I have drama practise after school and I have to wait
around until one of the students gets picked up (the child is in my class, and
her mom made special arrangements). I
don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t mind staying, but there
are times when I really don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t want to stay that late.
Also, on Monday evenings, I have one of the Bible studies that I go to (I
only go to two of them), which I am enjoying.
I won</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t have a chance to even
think about taking a nap when I get home.
I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ll probably have to go to
bed early tonight, but I won</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t even think about that right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">m kind of looking forward to getting back into my routine and
going to work. While I always enjoy days
off, vacations, and holidays, there are times I want to get back to work –
simply to get back into my routine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I am supposed to have one less student now, as one
little boy informed us, on the last day before Christmas vacation, that his mom
wants to home school him and his sister.
We</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ll see how it goes. I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t think she realises all that is involved in teaching/home
schooling, and she was always talking about how busy they were. The only thing that it will probably save
her, is travelling (they live outside of town).
She could surprise everyone and do a great job with home schooling, but
it wouldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t surprise me if the kids
end up coming back to the school – even if it isn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t until next fall. And, now that her son won</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t be in my class, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ll have to find someone
else to help with Bible memory, as she would come in to </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">‘</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">test</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> the kids for me (it was a
big help). Hopefully there is someone
else willing to step up to the plate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ve also got a few things that I want to try this term, such as
a novel study with my language arts students (I have eight ESL kids who have a
separate language arts class with another teacher, so they aren</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t in my class). I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t know if they can handle
this, but we</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ll see. I hope it works out well and doesn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t end up causing me
grief. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ve already warned them that the second half
of the year is going to be more difficult and more will be required of
them. It will probably be difficult for
the first little while with them testing to see if they can get away with less
effort, etc. So, I will definitely be
needing prayer for a little while!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Anyway, I hope you all have a great day, and if
this is also your first day back to work after a long break, I pray that you
have a great one!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12777276.post-84407998472910138202014-01-04T15:43:00.001-07:002014-01-04T15:43:12.284-07:00A Conversation With The Building Manager<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">This morning I had to go see the manager of my
apartment building (unfortunately I wrote the wrong date on my rent cheque and
had to bring her a replacement). She
invited me in for a few minutes, which turned into an hour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> This
is a woman who likes to talk, and while there are times you can</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t shut me up, there are
also times when I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">m not really in the mood
to hold a conversation with people. I had
hoped this would be a quick visit – I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">d drop my cheque off, get the receipt, make a bit
of casual conversation, and then leave.
It didn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">t turn out that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> The
building manager (I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;">ll call her P) proceeded
to tell me how she had hurt her knee and arm recently, and I mentioned about my
sciatica bothering me over the Christmas break.
This then led to a discussion on how she (and her husband) ended up
coming back to manage this apartment building (and another one or two). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> During
the time I had mentioned about my sciatica, I had told her about being in
Australia a few years ago and having done something to cause it to flare
up. Our conversation then turned to her
mentioning a</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">cousin from Australia that she was going to be meeting for
the first time in May, and how she had discovered this cousin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> For the rest of the time I was there
(the conversation about our injuries might have taken about five minutes), we
discussed genealogy. I have been
interested in genealogy (researching your family tree) since I was about 16. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> P told me about all the research she had
done (she is legitimately related to royalty, and both Princess Di and Camilla,
and has aristocracy in her roots as well), especially after being in contact
with a distant relative from Australia (a different cousin). She</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s done
loads of research, contacted various archives from different countries, been
put into contact with people who could help, and has been given lots of
information from others. It sure sounded
like she has done extensive research!
She also told me that she helps other people with research and she</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">d
be willing to help me (or point me in the right direction) if I wanted it. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">m not
totally sure, but I would think she</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">d charge a
fee for her research services.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> P and I discussed how important it is to
remember our past – who and where we came from – and the details. She had told me how her mother had always
wanted to write a book about her life story (and from what I was told, it would
definitely be an interesting read), and now P is thinking about writing it – or
some about her mother, but more so about her grandmother or great-grandmother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> P mentioned that she has been trying to
write things down in the evenings (stories and research), but she finds that
she gets tired very easily and ends up not accomplishing much. She wants to record everything for her
children and grandchildren, and thought making a book out of all her
information would probably be wise. I
suggested that maybe she could record things on one of those little hand held
tape recorders and then when she</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s not
feeling tired or has the time, she could then transcribe it, or have someone do
it for her. She said she hadn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
thought about that, but it was a great idea and she might just try it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Since talking with P a couple of hours
ago, I have also been thinking about doing more research on my own family
tree. I have a lot, but it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s
all back home in New Brunswick. My
ancestors don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
have an exciting background, or as interesting stories as the ones P told me
about her relatives, but that doesn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
matter. Just because one of my ancestors
was the first shoemaker on Prince Edward Island and not a duke or lord, doesn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
make him any less significant. Everyone is important; every story is important,
and I want to have a record of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> The Bible does say in Titus to </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">“…</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">avoid
foolish controversies and genealogies</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">…”</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> (3:9), but
I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
think it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s
meaning that we shouldn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
be involved in working on our family tree (after all, Jesus</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
own genealogy is recorded in the New Testament twice). I think this verse is dealing with deception. My study Bible has a cross-reference to 2
Timothy 3:13 which talks about evil men and impostors deceiving people. So, maybe these men, the impostors, were
showing genealogies to try and make people think they were important, or
someone they were not. So, I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
think it goes against Scripture when you do your family tree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Anyway, I think it</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s
important to record information (names, dates) and stories about ourselves, our
ancestors, and family members, for future generations. Unfortunately, I don</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
have any kids of my own (which makes me sad, but that</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s
another story), but I do have a nephew.
I do have cousins who have children.
And one day, one (or more) of them may have an interest and would like
to read about their family history.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Right now, I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">m
in the mood to work on my family tree. I
sure wish I had my information here now.
Oh well, it will probably have to wait until the summer. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">ll have to
look for it when I go back as I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">m not sure where it got
placed – especially the computer program I had used to record the bulk of my
information! I just hope it hasn</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">t
been lost. I</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "cinnamon cake"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">d
hate to have to start from scratch again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Shelley L. MacKenziehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15037786480134738465noreply@blogger.com0