Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A Little Bit Of Humour

I got this from my mom and dad's horticultural newsletter...it's quite funny, or at least I thought it was...hope you enjoy!


Wrapping Hints for Cat Owners


1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

7. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

8. Remove present from bag.

9. Remove cat from bag.

10. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

11. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

12. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

13. Cut the paper to size.

14. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors and tore the paper.

15. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.

16. Place present on paper.

17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach and realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

18. Place object on paper to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.

19. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

20. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.

21. Repeat all previous steps until you come to your last sheet of wrapping paper.

22. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials

23. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.

24. Lay out last sheet of paper (this will be difficult in the small area between the toilet and the sink, but do your best).

25. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards looking for sheet of last year's paper.

26. Rember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.

27. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

28. Put name tag on present. Sit back and congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.

29. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

30. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

31. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

32. Go to store and buy a gift bag.

33. Drive home.

34. Remove cat from gift bag and give him a treat...he's had a long day!

20 comments:

Live, Love, Laugh said...

You made me laugh! that was so good!

Joe said...

Put cat in box, wrap with gift wrap and give to worse enemy.

Jayleigh said...

AWESOME!!!

That was naughty, Joe. *bad*

:-)

What's my Mission said...

i can definately see why you like this one shelley... i agree with Joe, just give the cat away... ;-)

Shelley said...

GASP!!! (at Joe and Mission Girl's comments)...I reapeat, GASP!!!!

Debrand said...

Great article. Now I miss my cats. Sorry for missing your other posts. Time for me to be back on track. I LOVE your new look on your blog. God Bless.

Jezreel said...

ROFL Cats are awesome. Thanks for sharing this!!

Katie said...

and this is proof to why I like dogs

Darlene said...

I agree with Katie. I can't have a cat and kids too, they get into way too much stuff. "Mom, the cat's eating my lunch" is not something I ever want to hear again.

Nettie said...

I don't have a cat but that was still great!

steve said...

Yet one more reason why Cats are not on my Christmas list

Marianne Barry said...

hey thanks for the comment. yes, steve, very interesting character ... i guess those who love rita macneil are that way. haha, what part of ontario were you from? and its a good thing you don't like rita macneil! haha, please dont be offended over all my east coast jokes, its all for fun: )

Jennifer said...

Shelley, that was HILARIOUS! The same could be written about my bunny!

Shelley said...

Oh you people who don't like cats just don't know what you are missing!!! LOL

BTW, Marianne, I figured you were kidding (we aren't fighting either, I just wanted to use one of Steve's phrases lol).

Rachel said...

LOL! Cats are great, they just think they're helping out after all.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

ROFLOL...you've been around my house taking notes!

It reminds me of the cat Aunt Bethany wrapped as a present in Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation.

Once I left a large Present bag on a dining room chair. The cat put her head through the handle and when she moved, the bag followed.

We were in the living room and here came the cat flying thru the room with the bag rattling behind her.

The more it rattled, the more she ran, and the more it rattled....I nearly fell off the couch laughing.

Bonnie Scoggins said...

Thats funny indeed!

Mustang Girl said...

tooo cute!!! Cat's have such a unique personality. We used to have a cat that would come and lay on my homework while I was sitting on the couch or bed. He always wanted attention!! I miss him.

fl13grl said...

Thank you for making me smile! And also thnak oyu for your vote on my blog. Hope day is filled with happiness! Cheers...t

fl13grl said...

Ok, I can spell- *Thank you* I Hope your day is filled with happiness