Wrapping Hints for Cat Owners
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.
3. Open door and remove cat from closet.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
8. Remove present from bag.
9. Remove cat from bag.
10. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
11. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
12. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
13. Cut the paper to size.
14. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors and tore the paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.
16. Place present on paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach and realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.
18. Place object on paper to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.
21. Repeat all previous steps until you come to your last sheet of wrapping paper.
22. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials
23. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.
24. Lay out last sheet of paper (this will be difficult in the small area between the toilet and the sink, but do your best).
25. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards looking for sheet of last year's paper.
26. Rember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.
27. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
28. Put name tag on present. Sit back and congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.
29. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
30. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.
31. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
32. Go to store and buy a gift bag.
33. Drive home.
34. Remove cat from gift bag and give him a treat...he's had a long day!