Monday, March 30, 2009

This Is Spring?

So much for spring. After the beautiful weekend we had, morning dawned with some rain which turned into freezing rain - then snow...and it's still snowing. The forecast is calling for some messy weather today and into tonight.

I got home after class about an hour ago. They've cancelled the rest of the classes for the afternoon and evening. Unfortunately, the school has stated that if need be they will use Easter Monday to make up for the missed time - but the discretion is up to the teachers. I really hope my teacher's don't go for that. I could use the break!

My math presentation was this morning, and it was alright. I didn't do a whole lot because I am terrible with math. My prof knows this and my presentation partner and I went to talk to him a week or so ago about what we were going to do so he knew I was worried about not being able to present the material correctly and whatnot. I don't think I'll get a good mark - the other girl really deserves most of the mark (unless the teacher thought it came across that she was hogging the floor and not letting me do anything). However, as long as I pass and get at least a B- then that's fine.

My Phys. Ed. presentation was supposed to be tonight, but since they cancelled classes, that will be postponed. There are two other presentations that were scheduled tonight (these are group presentations) as well. Next week we are supposed to have a test but I don't know what is going to happen now. I assume this particular teacher will make us come in Easter Monday to finish up everything. We'll just have to wait and see.

Going to head off now and get some lunch. Also going to need a nap this afternoon as I was up early trying to prepare for the math presentation. At least I have this evening to work on school work when I would normally have been in class!

Have a blessed and Christ-filled day!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

It's A Sunshine Sweet Day

What a beautiful day it is today. The sun is shining and the mercury is above the freezing point! According to the icon on my computer, the temperature is +4C.

I've got a busy weekend ahead of me - two presentations on Monday, I have to read three chapters for one of my classes (with a quiz on them on Monday), I have an article review (one page) due on Tuesday, I need to work on my portfolio that is due in a couple of weeks, plus several other pieces of homework that will be coming due soon. On a positive note, classes finish in less than a month!

I found out yesterday that the pastor emeritus (not sure on the spelling of that) of my church passed away through the night - early yesterday morning. He was such a kind man who loved the Lord with his whole heart. He also used to be the senior pastor at my church in the '70s. Please pray for his family. The funeral is on Monday.

Tomorrow at church we have a believer's baptism. I think the pastor told us last week that there are four or five people being baptised! Praise Jesus! One of the people being baptized is a teenaged girl I have taught in the midweek program from when she was in grade 2 until she was in grade 5. Her father was my first Sunday School teacher when I started coming to this church and had just become a Christian. He also read my testimony when I was baptized at Easter in 2000. I'm thinking of bringing my camera and taking some pictures for her and her family.

Well, I best head off and get some lunch and hit the books again. I'm starting to freak out and feel overwhelmed with my math presentation on Monday. I'm terrible at math and we are doing our presentation on fractions - something I don't feel confident with (truth be told, I don't feel confident with any math). Please pray for that as well.

Have a blessed and Christ-filled day!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Almost Friday

Well, here we are, Thursday evening. It's almost Friday. It's been a long week for me with school work, and it definitely feels like it should have been Friday a couple of days ago. There is less than a month left of classes and it's going to be busy between now and then. I am so ready for a break from all of this!

I don't have to go in to observe the grade two class tomorrow; they are having parent teacher interviews at the school. I would love to just do nothing at all tomorrow (and for the whole weekend for that matter), but I will have to do some work at least. I have two presentations on Monday to prepare for, as well as search for info for a presentation my group has on Thursday, plus a lot of other things for homework.

I am just feeling really drained this week. No doubt the lack of sleep is contributing to my current state. I really should go to bed earlier than I do every night. So far I haven't made it any earlier than 11:30 - and that was only one night I think (maybe two).

I had a comment made to me the other day that felt good. On my email signature line I have the verse for Jeremiah 29:11 typed out. So, when I sent my part of the group unit plan to the account we have set up for my Phys. Ed./Wellness Education class to post our unit plans, etc. for our resource binders (which was due this past Monday), I got a reply back from one of the fellows in the class. He thanked me for having that on my signature line because it had spoken to him. He said it was something he needed to hear that day, and that God worked through me. Isn't that great?

Jeremiah 29:11-13 has been my key verses throughout my university years, as well as my year in South Korea. I've held on to them this whole time, and every now and then I need to be reminded of them as well. I'm glad God could use me (or my signature line) to speak to Chris this week.

Well, just a short post tonight. I must head off now. I hope you all have a gloriously blessed Christ filled day!

Oh, before I forget, please pray for M. He is a young boy (maybe around 10 years old, roughly) who goes to my church with his mom. I just found out this week that he has a tumor on his leg, and he's waiting for a biopsy to be done on it. Pray for M and his family - they can really use some prayer!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Much Better Mood

I'm in a much better mood tonight, though I am tired. I am finding out that I should probably be going to bed earlier than I usually do. That's something I'm going to have to work on, especially since I've been a night owl since I was little!

I did my observation in the grade 2 class again today, and things went pretty well. During math, the teacher had stations and groups of 5 would rotate every 15 minutes. The station I was at was the Math Bowling one. The idea was for them to practice subtracting from 10. So, there are 10 pins and whatever they knock down is subtracted from the 10 to get the answer. So, if they knock down 3 pins, they have to say 10 - 3 = 7. The kids loved it - probably because it was a game. I think it's great that you can use games to help reinforce what they students are learning, and most of the time the kids don't even realize they are learning!

I only have one more class to observe, and that is in two weeks. There is no school next Friday (the day I do my observations) because they are having parent-teacher interviews and I don't go to that. So, after the last class, I'll have 72 hours of observation! There will be about 3 weeks after that in which I don't have to go, and on April 24th those of us doing our teacher training in the spring will meet to discuss that. I believe it is the week after that (or maybe 2 weeks later) that the actual teaching practicum starts.

Today was a pretty nice day, though it was a little on the coldish side (not overly cold though). The good news is we have had some really nice days (and a bit of rain one night) and a LOT of our snow has melted! There's still an awful lot of snow to melt though, but hopefully the temperatures will start warming up enough (and often enough) and it won't take long for the rest to melt. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

I've got a busy weekend ahead of me. I have to do up my phys. ed. resource binder (I have a lot of things printed already, plus handouts from the prof) and put it together, do a comparison "critique" between 3 articles and a chapter or section of a chapter from the text book for social studies, work on my 2 articles for the group article presentation I have on Wednesday...and I think the rest can wait to be done after the weekend. What I've listed above are the main things I need to work on and get done (or some of them mostly done) first. Like I said - it's going to be a busy weekend!

Going to head off and do a little knitting tonight before bed - still need to work on the scarf for my Ravelry Scarf Exchange pal and get it sent out by April 2nd.

Hope you all have a blessed and Christ-filled day!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Seriously Though...What Is Wrong With Me?

I'm feeling the struggle again tonight (and last night)...that spiritual battle that seems to be prevalent in me lately - or for the last I don't know how long.

What is it that Paul sahys - I don't do what I should do and I do what I shouldn't do...or something to that effect. That really seems to be what I am struggling with. I know I should be reading my Bible. I know I should be praying more often than I do. But it feels like my motivation is severely lacking.

In all honesty, these feelings seem to hit me most when I'm feeling tired and/or stressed. I feel so busy with school work, that it's like everything else gets put on the back burner. When I'm not doing school work I just want to relax and not do much of anything. I do know that I need to get some energy, and that means that dreaded "e" word - exercise. That would help in a lot of areas I think. If I had the energy, I'd feel like doing more.

I do realize (as I believe I've stated in previous posts) that I am placing things ahead of God - school, relaxation, hobbies. I also realize that is wrong. I need to prioritize things with God being at the top of the list. I often hear stories that when people put God first in their lives, then everything else seems to fall into place. I just wish I could see that in my own life. But, in order to see that, I need to actually do it.

I feel like I'm on a backward walk in my spiritual life. Several years ago I had been doing great - reading the Bible every day, studing it, praying, going to a Bible study, never missed church, helped out in various kids ministries at church. It seems like somewhere along the line I started taking two steps back for every step forward.

I'm taking a break this year from all my ministries (except the knitting thing, though that hasn't been happening much this semester either) because I feel that since I've been home from Korea, my focus needs to be on getting myself back on track. How can I teach others to read the Bible or pray if I'm not doing it myself? Besides, this year I don't have much in the way of free time because of school so I am limited in what I can do or even in joining some kind of Bible study.

However, I don't think a lot has happened for my walk to improve. Don't get me wrong, I've had improvements. But then something happens and I'm right back where I was before - not spending time with God.

I will continue trudging on. I won't give up on my walk. I just feel right now like I need a huge rest in order to start on the journey again. So, if you can, please pray that I will find motivation to pray and spend time with God, get the rest I need, and at least get back to where I was on my walk a few years ago (and even surpass that).

It's hard to explain what I'm thinking, or wanting to say...but God knows what I'm meaning.

Monday, March 09, 2009

It's such a beautiful day today! I'm not sure of the temperature, but I think it's around +5C and the snow is melting. There's a lot of snow still, so I think it will take awhile for it to melt. It would be a really nice day to go out and do some photography, but I have class at 6:30 and need to finish an assignment that's due today.

Our sermon at church yesterday was really good. Basically, it was on the importance of prayer - that it is the foundation of every relationship we have, be it with parents, a spouse, a teacher, a get the idea. In other words, prayer brings Jesus into our relationships because when we are praying and working on our relationship with Jesus, it spills over into our other relationships. I forget exactly how the pastor phrased all of this, but this is, I think, pretty much what it boiled down to.
I am coming to the realization that I have been very neglectful in my walk with the Lord - I have been putting people and things ahead of Him, and that is wrong. In fact, it's a sin. I have created idols out of these things and have given them more importance than the Lord. I have been sitting back and not spending the time I need with my Saviour, and I know that saddens Him. It saddens me too, because I never wanted to do that - it just seemed to happen, and I let it.
Oh Lord, forgive me for giving people and things more importance in my life
than You. Forgive me for my sin, my idolatry. Help me to elevate You
up where You belong and seek Your guidance, Your love - You, ahead of everything
else. Lord, I ask that you work in my relationships and help me to place
you in the middle of all of them. In Jesus name, Amen.
Well, I must head off and finish the rest of my assignment for my class tonight. Have a blessed and Christ-filled day!

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Jumbled Up, Mixed Up Feelings

It's hard to describe the way I'm feeling right at this moment. It feels like a whole lot of things all smooshed together and I can't put my finger on any one feeling.

I feel a little bored. I was working on some knitting a little while ago and I messed up - very noticeable too. I'm working on a scarf for an exchange pal and I have to send it out by the first of next month so I need to get cracking on it. This mistake really puts a hinderance on things because the pattern isn't very easy to pick up again. I will wait until tomorrow to try again - right now I'm too frustrated with it.

I started reading after the knitting. The other day I began reading "Kingdom Come" by Tim Lahaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. This is the final book in the Left Behind series. I could only read a few pages and felt - I don't know, almost agitated or restless or something. I can't seem to focus on the reading.

I had a nap earlier on, only for about half an hour when I got a phone call. It wasn't enough of a nap to take away the tired feeling, though it did help a lot. I didn't want to sleep too late anyway or else it would interfere with my sleep tonight. I don't feel totally tired at the moment, but I'm sure if I went to bed now it might not take too long to get back to sleep - though I could be wrong.

Maybe what I'm feeling is the Lord nudging me to spend a little time with Him. I've neglected this the last few days/nights and I have that whole "I'm such a bad Christian" feeling. You know the one I mean...the one where you feel so inadequate and can't seem to do anything right because you're not working on your relationship with Jesus. I know I'm not perfect; I know I struggle from time to time with being a "good" Christian. I feel so lazy in my walk, yet I long to have a wonderfully close relationship with the Lord...but yet at the same time I don't do what I ought to do (kind of like what Paul says). I guess I just need to get off my butt and make the effort. It's not the Lord who is lacking in this area - it's me.

I think what I'll do is listen to some Christian music, do a little praying, and read a chapter in my Bible. That should help.

Lord, help me to focus on you. Please forgive me for my neglect
in our relationship. Help me to build on your foundation in my life.

Monday, March 02, 2009

A New Week

Monday. The start of a new work/school week. However, for me it is March Break! I have been looking forward to this week since the beginning of February - mostly because I felt ripped off with my Christmas vacation. That is my fault, though. I worked all but three days of Christmas vacation, so I don't feel as though I had any real time off. The only thing about this break is that I have to do school work during the week - things that are due for next week, etc.

I did some work Friday, but took Saturday and Sunday off and just relaxed. I made a couple of cards on Saturday and did a little bit of knitting. Yesterday, I stayed home from church because I was unsure of the roads. Turns out I think they would have been OK, but I didn't want to take the chance in case they were slippery from the freezing rain. So, yesterday I spent the day finishing up the book "Kiss" by Ted Dekkar and Erin Healy, as well as starting and finishing "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young. I don't think I've ever finished a book in one day before!

I have fallen off track again with my Bible reading. It's been about two weeks, maybe not quite that long, since I last read it. Well, I did read last night so that was the first time in the roughly two weeks since I last read. I know how easily things begin to decline when I get away from pursuing my relationship with Jesus. I need to get back on track and work at it before things get out of hand.

I know my relationship with the Lord is not perfect - far from it in fact. That is something I admit that I need to work on. I don't feel anywhere near as close as I felt a few years ago. Something had happened (though I don't remember what the situation was - I do remember feelings of depression) and it seemed from that point I started going backwards and it seems that I haven't been able to get back to the point I had been at. It seems as though it's a struggle to get back to the place I was once at.

But, at any rate, I do realize the need for a close and personal relationship with Jesus and it is something that I need to continually be working on. So, I continue to strive even when it seems I take two steps backwards for every step I take forwards. I am not alone in this, and that is definitely something I can be thankful for and give praise to Him for.

Thank You, Jesus, for being with me - even when I fail to acknowledge Your presence in my life. You have said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you", and for that I am truly thankful.