Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I'm On A Mission...

...to find out who I really am. I want to know who I am.

My best friend K and I were talking briefly yesterday about knowing who we really are. She mentioned some things that the Lord had revealed to her and it was similar to what I have been thinking about lately as well. While these things might not be exactly what the Lord spoke to her about, I feel that maybe the Lord was using her and her revelations to nudge me as well.

So, I need to find out who I really am. Yes, I am a daughter of the King, a follower of Jesus the Christ, but this is more than that. I mean, I hear of people being passionate about someone or something or a particular cause - I don't know what, if anything, I am passionate about. I have things I like or really like, but is it strong enough to say that I am passionate about it? I don't know. I don't feel that I am passionate about anything, so I am praying for the Lord to give me a passion about something. Now, before I go on, you may be thinking "We just need to be passionate about the Lord." Well, I am - maybe not as much as I should be, and maybe this is where I need to concentrate and put all my energies.

I am not really talking about this passion. It is more about other passions. For example, I know of a woman at my church (she is also a prof at school, though I don't have her for any classes) and she is passionate about poverty and women's rights/issues, that sort of thing. She is VERY passionate about these things and she is active in these issues. I am not comparing myself to this woman (or anyone else), but I wonder who do I get passionate about something, or what do I get passionate about?

There are so many causes and such 'out there' that people are passionate about, that they are striving to end or make others aware of something. There are so many people fighting for, say breast cancer. That is great and I applaud them. It's not something that I would like to see any woman get or have to deal with, and I support it wholeheartedly (the research, the finding a cure, etc.)...but I'm not passionate about it. The same goes for so many things. I might believe in the cause and support it, but I'm not passionate about it.

What does this have to do with finding out who I am? Well, by finding out who I am I might be able to discover something that I am passionate about, something that I am not willing to give up on or let someone try to deter me from doing something about...does that make sense?

I am not even sure where or how to begin at finding out who I am. How can I serve Him and know Him if I don't even know me. It is something I have begun to pray about, asking the Lord to give me a passion, to help me find out who I am (and that might include finding out negative things like selfishness or something which I need to change so that I am not like that)...I fear this is one of those "it's going to take a long time to discover" things, or "what if I find out that I don't like who I am, or that I am not the woman I thought I was?" things. I guess only time and the Lord will tell. I've just started this process, so I don't have any answers yet but if I continue and honestly seek to find out who I am, I am sure He will reveal things to me.

My questions to you are:

1. Do you know who you are?
2. How did you find this out?
3. Do you have something you are passionate about, if so how did you develop it?
4. What does one do to search at finding out who he/she is?

Friday, January 27, 2006

Blah.

I'm beginning to feel blah. I feel a cold coming on and my throat has been a little 'raw' for the last couple of days. I'm doing what I can to try and ward it off and hope it doesn't last long, but none the less I think it is starting to kick in. That is, at least once the cold pills wear off...

School is going fine so far. I had a mini paper (5 pages) and an essay that was to take the place of a test, both due on Thursday, both for my World View class. Both reports also involved the movie "The Truman Show". I really don't feel I did them right or focused on what I was supposed to, but I did them, and now it is just a matter of time before getting them back and seeing the results. I did pray before working on them, as well as during the writing, so God was in the picture. I am really trying not to worry about this class with all the reading and mini papers we have to do, plus the major paper and a presentation on it. I am praying about it, but still there is that little voice in the back of my head trying to get me to stress out and worry over it. I can say that I won't worry and stress over it, but I might. So, I will just continue to pray and ask the Lord for His help through it and do my best.

My 2 Samuel class is going good. Lots of good discussion. The prof usually asks someone to pray before class (sometimes he does it), and on Wednesday he got me to pray. At the end of class he thanked me again for praying and said that whenever I pray we seem to have a really good discussion. Then he told me I was a good servant. Well, I take no credit for any of the conversation because I think it is the Lord who is working in that. I prayed for us to have open minds, to help us to learn and grow from His Word...things like that. Anyway, the compliment felt good.

My third class in Communication Disorders is also going good. It seems like the topic is interesting, though the class itself can be a little slow...mainly because it is lecture with some questions by the students thrown in. The prof is great, explains things well, willing to answer any and every question raised by the lecture, and he is also a speech-language pathologist by day, so he definately knows his stuff. He also goes to my church and is a great person in general. And no, I doubt he'll see this so I'm not saying it to get brownie points LOL! Our first test in that, I believe, is coming up in the not too distant future (Feb. 9 I think) and I there are a lot of notes so I am going to have to start studying soon for it, a little at a time, so that I can do well on the test.

So far this semester, after two full weeks, I haven't been or felt stressed out and that's great. Though with the World View papers, I was more frustrated than stressed. However, I think part of the reason for this is that I'm only part time this semester, with only 3 courses instead of my normal 5. That can cut down on the stress. I figure that it is probably good that I am only in 3 since I'm taking World View. With so much work for that class, if I were in 5 courses I would be more stressed out no doubt.

Anyway, I praise the Lord that I've not been stressed. I thank the Lord for helping me with school (as I believe He is doing). I praise Him because He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, and because He most definately deserves it!

I will leave with a couple of prayer requests: please pray regarding this cold I'm catching, that it doesn' t last long and that it doesn't drain me out, etc.

The second request is for this coming Sunday...there is a baptism at church, and I know of 1 man for sure getting baptised, and I think his girlfriend is as well. I'm not sure if there are others or not, but regardless, please pray for these people and that the Lord will work through this and that satan won't stop it (he tried to stop me from getting baptised and if you haven't heard the story I can tell it...not sure if I posted on it in the past or not)...anyway, please pray for this.

Have a Christ filled day!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Just A Little Fun

Well, I seem to have hit a brick wall with regard to my posting. I'm not sure what I should write tonight.

I wanted to write something thought provoking, but my thoughts are absent. I wanted to write something full of wisdom, but my name is not Solomon. I wanted to write something poetic, but aside from nursery rhymes I don't know any. I wanted to write something that would pull in tons and tons of comments from people all over blogland, but that could be dangerous. So, I thought I'd simply pass on another email I received. This one is cool and I have no idea why it works out this way, but it does...trust me, I tried several times and it worked the way the email said it would. Why not give it a go and let me know how it worked out for you and what ya thought of it...just keep your comments nice LOL.


How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
This is funny and it will boggle your mind, and you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't . Mind control does NOT work either!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so...and there's nothing you can do about it!!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Voting Day (Updated)

Today is voting day here in Canada. We are in the midst of electing our Prime Minister. The race seems to always be between the liberal party and the conservative party. There are a couple of other parties (The NDP or New Deomcrate Party and the Green Party, not sure if there are others as well or not and quite honestly I don't really care because politics does not interest me). So, in a few short hours, or at least I think in a few short hours, we will either have Paul Martin (Liberal) re-elected as our Prime Minister, or Stephen Harper (Conservative) as the new PM.

I am refraining from saying which party I support or don't support, because quite frankly I don't think it really matters to anyone, nor does it make any difference to anyone or anything who I voted for.

And that reminds me. My friend K is a good patriotic Canadian girl (Yeah K!), not that I am not mind you, but she is vocal about pledging her love of the country and I am not - though I will be vocal about it now and say that I do love my country!! Anyway, she asked me today if I was going to vote. I told her that I would not because one doofus in office is just as bad as the next doofus. She gasped at me and nearly fainted...ok that is exagerated, she just gasped. Anyway, she made mention of the fact that whichever doofus (quoting me) gets in will do so because God allows it (like it says in the Bible) and we are supposed to pray about this. I told her that I have been praying some (I admit that it is only some times and not nearly as often as I should have) about the election for PM. Anyway, I think she was a little flabergasted at my response with regard to the whole voting thing.

Anyway, I was a good girl and went to vote. That's right K, I voted! Man, was it fun goading you about this...hehehe. Should have seen the look on your face when I said the whole 'doofus' thing...classic! Don't think I've seen you that shocked...ever! Anyway, I just wanted to publicly (if this is considered publicly) tell you that I did vote. Not saying which party I voted for (see reason above), but rest assured I did vote so now I will have the right to complain no matter which doofus gets in...ROFL!!!

**Updated to add: The votes are in...Stephen Harper, Conservative, won the election in a minority government.

Friday, January 20, 2006

It's My Birthday!

Yup, it is officially my birthday...though only for another 1 1/2 hours. I am old...well, ok maybe not old but I'm slowly getting up there, which is something to be thankful of right - because there are people who don't even live this long.

I'm 37 today. I can't believe it...well, maybe I can believe it but it doesn't feel like I am 37. I don't feel any different than I did yesterday or the day before, or even six months ago. The hair is getting a little more grey in it (time for a dye job), and I am thankful for that because I have hair. Many people who are going through chemo treatments or have some genecti thing don't have hair.

Though I am not married and have no children (I had always thought I would have been married in my twenties with kids), I am not alone. I have my family, my friends, and my Jesus. Not everyone has all of this - some have none of it.

I am living at home with my parents. Yeah, sounds weird doesn't it? I am thankful for that because I have a warm place to live, a roof over my head, food to eat. Not everyone has that. I quit my job of 12 years, 4 years ago, to go back to school to follow the calling I felt the Lord leading me to - teaching. I am in my final semester (as you all know) of my BA, and will be sending in my application next week for the education program. I am thankful for this because not everyone has the opportunity to pursue something like this, nor to be able to move. I am at my parents' home due to financial reasons (I have no job) and could not afford to live elsewhere. Besides, I keep telling myself that it's not forever - only a couple more years, and I am thankful that my parents were willing to allow me to do this and support me in this.

I went to my friend Kristina's tonight; she invited me over for supper and to hang out because it was my birthday. Another one of our newer friends, Kim was over too. We ordered pizza, ate cake that Kristina made (can you say 'yummy'?!) and she even had a gift for me. She got me one of those Willow Tree Angels - the courage angel - because I was courageous in quitting my job and going back to school. I love those angels and I thank her from the bottom of my heart for it. She's my best friend and I love her to death. I am so thankful that God has brought her into my life, and that we continue to build up our friendship. I haven't had a best friend probably since high school, if I even had one then. I've had good friends, and somewhat close friends, but not a best friend. I am very thankful for her, and that I had a chance to get to know Kim better tonight. Kim's a great person too, and we're just really getting to know her.

A quick prayer request: please pray for Kristina's daughter who isn't feeling well. I'm also thankful for this little girl. She's a real sweetheart!

So, as you can see, I have a lot to be thankful for. I need to remember this during those low times when I feel loney, or when I feel like I'm weird or whatever for living with my parents again at this age (yes, in case you were wondering, I have been out on my own before and had to move back in). I am blessed that I have people around me who love and care about me, who don't want to see me out on the street, who want me to succeed...I am blessed that I have a loving God who thought enough of me that He sent His Son to die so that I could have eternal life with Him. I am blessed because the Lord loves me and wants to have a relationship with me (and I with Him). So you see, because I might not have much materialistically or monitarily, I have so much more than others have. I am blessed.

It's my birthday, I am 37 years old - and I have so much to be thankful for!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Back Into The Swing Of Things

Well, as you know, school has started back up for me. It is only the third day however. I would expect that it will take a little bit of time to really get back in the swing of things - though last semester (as I was discussing with a friend of mine toward the end of last semester) I don't feel that I really found my groove for studying. Usually at the beginning of the school year it takes a few weeks to a month for me to really get my groove of studying and doing homework, after being off for the summer (even though I work) since the end of April. But, as I said, I don't feel like I had really got into that.

I am hoping this semester will be different. I am hoping that the groove will be found rather quickly, especially for my World View class and my Communication Disorders class. Both of these classes have a lot of reading, plus a lot more for WV (such as papers).

One 'fear' that I have is that since I don't have a lot of classes this semester, leaving me with more time at home, is that it will be far too easy for me to put off doing homework/studying til later. I am a procrastinator. I am in the mood for knitting, and would rather sit and knit. But, I know where my priorities lay. The thing is, I need to adjust my attitude or whatever and make myself study instead.

I was able to do that tonight. I read about 20 pages for Communication Disorders for tomorrow's class (thankfully the class is only at 4:10 pm). I still have about 30 pages to go, but I have tomorrow morning and part of the afternoon to read. I will do it though, because I am determined to do well in this class...well, all my classes really.

I am also determined to remember to include Jesus in my school work and studying. A lot of time I will start out doing this, and then part way through the semester I tend to 'forget' this and attempt to do it on my own. As I have found out, when this happens I tend to get more stressed out than need be. However, I must mention that I was not nearly as stressed out last semester as I have been in the past. Part of this, I am sure, is due to the pastor at my church praying for me to enjoy tests and look forward to them. While that didn't happen, I do know that he is also praying that I won't feel as stressed out, etc. I don't necessarily want to enjoy writing tests, but I do want to do well without the stress.

Anyway, I will be praying that I will keep Jesus in my school work. I will be praying that I don't procrastinate at doing homework/studying/doing papers. And, I will be praying that I find my groove early and get back into the swing of things school-wise. I would appreciate if you could pray for these things for me too, whenever you think to.

Have a Christ filled day!

Monday, January 16, 2006

It's Monday!

Yup...Monday is here. Whoda thunk it?

Well, I had my first class this morning (2 Samuel) and it went well so far. We actually went over the last few chapters of 1 Samuel because we didn't get them finished last semester. I guess it is to remind us of what is going on, to lead us into 2 Samuel. Fun stuff!

Tonight I have a class that will be 2 hours 45 minutes long on Worldview. I'm not looking forward to this class because of what I've heard from the students who took it last semester. It's going to be hard stuff...but this is a course that everyone has to take before they graduate and you can only take it in 3rd or 4th year. Fun times ahead in that class I'm sure...NOT!

I got my marks back and did a little better than I thought, praise God. For my drawing class I got A-, Reformation of Europe I got B (didn't think I'd get anything over a C or C+), Colonial America was B- (again, didn't think I'd get anything over C or C+), 1 Samuel I got B+, and my Advanced Hebrew I thought I failed (the final exam was worth 50% of our mark and I didn't think I passed because there were a lot of words that I didn't know), but I ended up with a B- which is a nice surprise. My GPA is 3.07, which is down more than I like but it still gives me a B average, which is what I have maintained throughout university thus far.

So, praise God that He gave me strength to deal with the marks. Praise God that I did a little better than I thought. Priase God that I still have hope that I'm not a failure (LOL). Praise God for helping me through this situation, and praise Him that He will be with me in this semester.

I am only taking 3 courses this semester (2 Samuel, Worldview and Communication Disorders) so that should help cut down on the stress. Though from my understanding with Worldview, that alone will give me grief and stress just trying to do all the papers and such that go with it. That will need prayers I'm sure.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement with regard to my previous post. You guys are really encouraging and I greatly appreciate it. You guys rock!

Have a Christ filled day!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Tomorrow Is Monday

Yep, tomorrow is Monday. That means it's back to the ol' grindstone. I've been on Christmas break from school now about a month (little less than that), and it seems like even though the time has gone fast, that it also creeped along. It seems like I haven't been to school forever - but that's fine. I enjoyed the break.

I was able to get a bit of work in to help out with finances for school (did some Christmas shopping and yarn shopping too) and have been off for a little over a week and a half from that. I'm not complaining though. I was able to get relaxed and not feel stressed or worried, and was able to catch up on some knitting that I couldn't do with all the school work.

However, I do admit that last night I awoke with a start after just dozing off and couldn't get back to sleep until probably 2:00 or 2:30 am, maybe even closer to 3:00 but can't recall exactly. One of the things that kept running through my mind was the fact that school starts back up tomorrow (Monday), and I will get my marks back from first semester as well as the term papers.

In all honesty, this has me worried. I don't have much confidence that I did all that well - or at least as well as I would liked to have done. I know this is all in the past and that I can't do anything about it...the papers are written, the exams were done. I know that God is in control of the situation, etc. I also know that I shouldn't worry about this, that it shows lack of faith/belief. But still, I think what I am worried about is how it will affect my getting into the education program. I really don't think that I did very well, and I am afraid that I will have to face some of the same profs again (for different classes) and they'll think I'm stupid or something.

I guess, as I think this over again, is that I am also worried that if I did poorly that when I look at my marks (for final marks as well as for the papers) that I will get depressed, upset and cry at school...which is something I want to avoid. I admit, my pride is affected by this, or affecting the situation. I am afraid of people asking me how I did and having to tell them I didn't do well. I am afraid of looking stupid I guess. It seems like I have more fear attached to this than I thought.

Now, before anyone gets too excited and starts to tell me to just trust God, to not worry because I can't do anything about it now, or whatever, note this: I have talked to God about it last night and even today. He knows that this is something that I am dreading, something I don't feel confident about, something that I should stop worrying about. He knows all about it, he knows all about how I feel and everything connected with it. I have prayed and asked Him for His help tomorrow, asked for strength to get through the day, to especially not cry at school.

I know that I might be spewing all of this out for nothing, that maybe I did better than I thought (though I really don't think so) and will be excited...that would be great, but I am one of those people who plan for the worst case scenario 'just in case'. I think, weird as it sounds, I would rather worry that I did horrible and find out I did good than not worry and think I did great only to find out I failed or got a lower grade than I thought.

Anyway, I'm just trying to get this off my chest. I've taken it to God and I'm trying to leave it with Him; but as the final hour comes regarding this, I am worrying more. I am honestly trying not to think about it and to leave it with God, but it's hard...I will be doing more praying and talking to God about the situation though.

Please pray for me about this. Thank you.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Beautiful E-mail To Share...

I hope you enjoy t his e-mail as much as I did. It's a little long, but worth the read in my opinion. Have a Christ filled day!

I Will See You There

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day.

As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, "I will work for food." My heart sank.

I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief. We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways.

I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car. Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: "Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square."

Then with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack. I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.

"Looking for the pastor?" I asked.

"Not really," he replied, "just resting."

"Have you eaten today?"

"Oh, I ate something early this morning."

"Would you like to have lunch with me?"

"Do you have some work I could do for you?"

"No work," I replied. "I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch."

"Sure," he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions. Where you headed?""St. Louis.""Where you from?""Oh, all over; mostly Florida.""How long you been walking?""Fourteen years," came the reply. I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, "Jesus is The Never Ending Story."Then Daniel's story began to unfold.

He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought. He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly. He gave his life over to God.
"Nothing's been the same since," he said, "I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now."

"Ever think of stopping?" I asked.

"Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me But God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles . That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads." I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: "What's it like?"

"What?"

"To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?"

"Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me." My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, "Come Ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in." I felt as if we were on holy ground. "Could you use another Bible?" I asked. He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favorite. "I've read through it 14 times," he said."I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see"

I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful. "Where are you headed from here?" I asked."Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon."

"Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?"

"No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next."He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things."Would you sign my autograph book?" he asked. "I like to keep messages from folks I meet." I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope."

"Thanks, man," he said. "I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you."

"I know," I said, "I love you, too." "The Lord is good!"

"Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?" I asked."A long time," he replied. And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, "See you in the New Jerusalem."

"I'll be there!" was my reply. He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, "When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?""You bet," I shouted back, "God bless.""God bless." And that was the last I saw of him.

Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them.Then I remembered his words: "If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?"

Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry. "See you in the New Jerusalem," he said. Yes, Daniel, I know I will...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

For Anyone Interested...

I have a picture posted of my first ever handmade sock...made by me! If you are interested, you can see a pic of it and read about it (I know, not everyone will find this interesting) over on my other blog at Kitten Yarns & Crafts. Drop by and leave a comment and let me know what you think of it.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Something To Share

Before Christmas, while school was still in session, I paid a trip to the bookstore (like I pretty much do on an almost daily basis to get something to drink or snack on) and was looking through the books. Now, the majority of the books they have, of course, are text books for courses (or ones not being used anymore that can still be purchased). But they do have other books as well, such as some novels, kids books, devotions, etc.

I saw a devotional that was on sale (around $6.00) and since I needed to spend a minimum of $5 so I could use my debit card to purchase my bottle of Diet Pepsi, I picked it up. I was wanting a new devotional anyway so I think I lucked out on the price. I bought "My Utmost For His Hightest" by Oswald Chambers and I started reading it midway in December, and my goal for this year is to read one each day, as the devotions are marked off according to the date (no years are given). I have been mulling this thought over since January 1st because I wanted to do this fantastic post about it that everyone would love and rave over. However, my brain is not working right and I can't find the words to really say. Maybe I will come up with something as I type this though. If not, I can always discuss the subject again another day. Besides, I'm not doing this to impress anyone or win over friends or whatever. Hmm, maybe if I do that I can get more hits to my blog (LOL), but I digress...

Anyway, I wanted to share a part of the devotion that spoke to me for January 1, something to make you think. It says:


"But before we choose to follow God's will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God's gentler nudges. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate. He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide - for or against. That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives. If a crisis has come to you on any front, surrender your will to Jesus absolutely and irrevocably." (January 1, My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers)

Often when we are in a crisis, or hear of someone else who is, the thought tends to be "why is this happening?" or "why is God doing this?", or something similar. I believe that a lot of the times we face crisis situations is because God is wanting us to learn to draw near to Him, to learn to turn to Him in our time of need, or He is wanting us to learn patience, trust (or any number of other lessons). We don't tend to listen, as Mr. Chambers said, to the 'gentle nudges' of God. We are human and all too often try to rely on ourselves to get through situations, to overcome obsticles, to succeed and accomplish goals or what have you, all by our own merits.

I believe that God brings us to a crisis so that we learn to depend more on Him and less on ourselves. Yeah, sure the crisis is often times hard or hurts to the center of our being, but when we learn to depend on God and allow Him to lead us, we are much better off and we become stronger in our faith and trust for Him.

I don't know if what I have said even relates to the quote or not, but I think both the quote and what I have said can serve (if for nothing or no one else) as a reminider for myself to hand over the reins to God.

**Note to self: let God be the one in Control, and remember that during a crisis.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Rocking Chair Thoughts

To clarify the title of this post: I am a rocking chair girl, and I have been once since I was very little. Rocking in my rocking chair is one of the ways I relax, and it is often where I do many of my hobbies: reading, listen to music, knitting, crocheting, reading, and working on my laptop.

I have begun to read 2 Samuel pretty much daily for a week now because I am wanting to get a head start for the class I will have on that book of the Bible next semester, to remind myself what is going on, and so I can maybe formulate some questions and take part in the discussion better.

Anyway, I was reading in chapter 6 the other day where Uzzah had reached out and took hold of the ark to help prevent it from falling while it was being moved to the City of David (Jerusalem). If you don't know this story, or haven't read it in some time, when he (Uzzah) touched the ark the "anger of the Lord burned against Uzzah, and God struck him down there for his irreverence; and he died there by the ark of God" (2 Samuel 6:7). When I read this passage, I remembered hearing others ask why God would kill him for trying to help prevent the ark from falling and no doubt shattering into many pieces.

I can't seem to find the passage, and maybe I'm making it up (lol) but I think the Lord had commanded that no one could touch the ark, and if they did, the end result would be death.

This is a promise of God; and had God not put Uzzah to death for touching the ark, He would have broken His promise. We know that God keeps His promises, and if He hadn't kept this promise it would show otherwise.

For if we saw that God did not keep that promise, then we would wonder at His other promises and think what is to stop Him from breaking that promise. What if God had broke His promise to establish David as King? What if God had broke His promise to send His Son Jesus to save us? What if God had broke His promise of ________ (insert any other promise)?

If God broke His promises, we would not be able to trust Him. I mean, how can you trust a promise made by someone who does not keep them? God wants us to trust Him, and part of helping us to trust Him is to keep the promises He makes.

I am sure you can pour over the entrie Bible with a fine tooth comb and not find one instance where God breaks His promises. If you have found instances, I'd like to know.

The point I am trying to make with all of this, is that we can trust God to always come through on His promises. Whatever He has promised in His Word, whatever promise He has given us, He will be faithful and bring it to completion.

Has God promised you something? Rest assured that He will not break it! It will come about in His timing though, not ours. God never said when He promised something that it would always happen immediately. No, time, circumstance, situation, etc. all must be at the place He wants it to be when He comes through with His results. If God has given you a promise my friend, you can stand on it!

Standing On The Promises

Standing on the promises of Christ my King,
Through eternal ages let His praises ring,
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
Standing on the promises of God.

Refrain:

Standing, standing,
Standing on the promises of God my Savior;
Standing, standing,
I’m standing on the promises of God.

Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.

Refrain

Standing on the promises I now can see
Perfect, present cleansing in the blood for me;
Standing in the liberty where Christ makes free,
Standing on the promises of God.

Refrain

Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord,
Bound to Him eternally by love’s strong cord,
Overcoming daily with the Spirit’s sword,
Standing on the promises of God.

Refrain

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.

Refrain

(words for song taken from: http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/s/o/sotpogod.htm)

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Thanks

Thanks to all who offered their help for the HTML thingy regarding my knitting blog. I have decided not to join that webring afterall. However, I am somewhat interested in learning HTML to try and attempt to design my own template for it...so, I know who you are and where to find you, if you don't mind me pestering you at some point with questions.

Bonnie, I went to one of the links on your blog regarding learning HTML and I'm looking forward to reading and learning from it :o).

Thanks again everyone for offering your help!!

Monday, January 02, 2006

A Little Blogging Help Needed (Updated)

Ok, as some of you may know from my profile, I now have a second blog in progress for my knitting and other crafts. I have been playing around with it and thought I had saved it to Word before I did anything, but apparently I did it after I added something.

You know that little banner at the top, the one where you can search or go to the next blog? Well it is appearing as a square in my top post and I don't know how to fix that. I was playing around with the sidebar and I think that is when it happened. My titles in the sidebar are also bigger than they had been and I don't know how to change it so they are smaller. Also, I added a couple of webring links but I think everything was ok when those were added...

So, I know some of you are really smart at this and thought maybe you could either take a look at the template page or let me know how to change the headings so they are a smaller font. I will play around with it a little more and see what I can come up with as well.

**UPDATE**

Ok, I have figured out what was causing the problem. I had put in a code for a web ring that I joined and even though it was just small on the sidebar (especially compared to other things like the pic of the weather pixie), it seems that it was throwing things off.

So, my quesion now is how can I fix that? Is there a way to do this, or should I contact whomever owns the web ring to see what can be done?

Any help is greatly appreciated!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year!

First off, I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for their prayers. I have surely felt them. Even the next morning after having written the previous post I felt much better!

I have contacted the registrars department and she told me that the other Sunday School teacher that I help with can be used as my 3rd reference. That was a load off my mind because I had absolutely no idea who I could use for that one. I also emailed the prof that is on sabatical and asked him for a reference. He emailed me back the next day and said he would love to give me a reference (I have to recontact the registrar to see if he can email it or if it should be sent snail mail). He told me that he misses teaching me this year because I am such a diligent student who always has her work done! That was a very encouraging email for sure!

I have been praying and giving the whole situation to the Lord and doing my best not to worry about it (regarding the education program), and I have asked the Lord to help me with this. I have repented of my unbelief (and thank you to those who helped me to see this clearly, that it was unbelief) and told God all about my fear and such...though I know He already knows all about it. So, I am feeling much better now; again thank you so much for your prayers!

Now, onto other things. I want to wish each of you and your families all the best for a Christ filled 2006.

Service was great this morning, and the pastor talked about staring over; starting new. He said that it can be something that we need to do daily, hourly or even by the minute. He said that we all fail at something, and instead of sitting back and saying something like 'Well, I failed at that so I'm not going to do that anymore', we should just get back up on the horse. Now, we can't do this on our own. Any new start that we decide to do needs to involve the Lord. Jesus needs to be at the head of it. It doesn't matter what the new start is in - it can be anything and everything. Maybe it is a new start to a healthier lifestyle, a new start to improving prayer life or spending time with the Lord...anything at all. The point is, we need to start. We don't have to accomplish the thing in its entirety all at once (a lot of things take time to change), but we need to pick a point at which to start and then start.

I know there are many things that I can start anew, I just need to actually start. My problem lies in procrastination! That is something that I have to overcome, but it is not something that will disappear overnight...at least I don't think it will.

Do you make New Year Resolutions? I don't tend to make them, mainly because I never stick to them, even if I start out doing so. I'm terrible for that sort of thing. I expect somewhere out there in the world are a handful of people who can actually stick to their resolutions, but like I said, I am not one of them. So, I won't sit here and bore you to death by telling you my list - because I don't have one. Sure, there are things that I would like to accomplish this year, things I would like to start afresh, try some new things but that isn't the same as making resolutions...at least I don't think so, because I am not resolving to do them. I am just simly stating that they are things I would "like" to do, but it won't make me a weaker person if I don't. I guess you could say they are goals that I would like to accomplish, but they things that are a "must do". Anyway, I think I am just rambling on now and not making much sense.

So, as the new year of 2006 begins to unfold, may your new year be one filled with hopes and dreams, accomplishments and desires being fulfilled. But most of all, may it be one filled to overflowing with the Love of Jesus shining in and through you, spilling over into those around you. God bless!