Thursday, December 29, 2005

I Am Fearing Again...

Today I pulled out my application for the education program that I am going to be applying for for next fall. I wanted to ask my supervisor at work for a reference. However, I read over the FAQ they attach to the application and read about the kind of references they want.

The first reference is from someone regarding work with kids that I have had. I already asked the lady in charge of my church's mid week kids program if she would give me a reference regarding this, and she said she would. The next reference is with an academic reference. I've emailed one of the profs I've had quite a bit, as I am sure he will give me a good reference. The thing is, he is on sabatacle this year. I am hoping that he reads his school email frequently and still uses it even though he's not there this year. Someone told me that he is supposed to be going away this semester so that scares me...that he either won't get the email or that I won't be able to get a reference from him. I have another prof on back-up that I will ask if this one can't (this second prof has actually recommended me as a tutor for the Religious Studies courses, for the students at school who need it, so maybe he'd be able to give me a good one as well).

The third one is giving me problems. I have decided that a reference from my supervisor won't do because they one one that will tie things together and be a well rounded one that will give support to being a teacher and being in the education program...or something like that. I have absolutely no clue who to ask for this, or what it really means. So, tonight I have emailed the registrar in charge of the education program to find out if she can lead me in the right direction. I don't know if it would be acceptable to have the teacher I help at Sunday school (the beginner's class - kindergarten to grade 2) as the third reference or what (I asked that in the email). Hopefully I'll hear back soon as to what they are looking for.

I have been feeling...I don't know...down I guess, or maybe afraid today because of this whole Education program thing. Let me explain a little so that it might help you understand what or why I am in this spot.

When I felt the time came that I needed a change in my life, work was really getting to me. I had been in a somewhat dead end job for nearly 12 years. I was about as far up the ladder as I could go there, which wasn't the problem. The problem was that it was data entry, and I was sick and tired of that kind of work. I was only trained in office work and I no longer had any interest in this sort of thing at all. It made me feel sick to think that was the kind of work I would have to do for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with office work or anything...I was just sick and tired of it. I needed a change. I was also getting carpal tunnel, and not long before applying for school, I actually did get it in my left wrist and it was progressing in my right one.

So, I prayed a lot about going back to school...because that is what I would need to do. I had no idea what I wanted to do, or what I should do. It was then that people who didn't know I was even thinking about going back to school started asking me if I had ever thought about being a teacher because I was good with the kids. They told me they could see a twinkle in my eye when I was around them and that I seemed to work well with them. They told me that I would make a good teacher.

I started praying and felt that my direction was being strengthened to go back to school. I talked to the admissions people and found out that I would need to get my BA (Bachelor of Arts) before I could get my BEd (Bachelor of Education). So, I began to pray about what I should take for my BA and felt the Lord direct me to Biblical Studies. Now, before I go on, I've had people tell me that of course God would want me to take that since it's about the Bible and about Him. However, I firmly believe that if God wanted me to take Psychology or something else He would have led me to that. I believe that God has me in the Biblical Studies program for a reason, and not just to learn about Him.

I had also prayed a lot about becoming a teacher (prior to praying about the BA thing) and felt led to this. I felt that the comments people had made were a confirmation that this was the right direction for me. I had all the faith in the world that the Lord wanted me to go back to school and become a teacher.

So, that isn't the problem. The problem for me is that somewhere along the way I started doubting and second-guessing myself. I wonder to myself sometimes if I am doing what God really wants me to do, or if it was just me wanting to do this. I start thinking what if I apply for the education and I don't get in...does that mean I wasn't following God's will for my life but following my own desires? I know that satan could be filling me with doubt, causing me to fell this way.

I am afraid that I won't get into the Education program after all this work, after believing that this was the path God wanted me on. I am afraid that somewhere along the way I stopped having faith and stopped believing that I am doing God's will in this. This doesn't consume me every minute of the day mind you...but today I have really been mulling it over in my mind.

I have been praying that the Lord will let me know who I should ask for the third reference. I have been praying that my marks will be good enough, that He will give me the words to say on the essay part of the application, that I will be granted an interview and get accepted into the program. I know there are areas I need to learn and improve upon in my teaching skills, but isn't that what the education program is about?

I am afraid that if I don't get in, it will be because I started doubting, and stopped trusting. I know that if this is God's will/plan for my life I will get accepted. But what if I don't? Then what? A Bachelor of Arts doesn't really give you anything. I don't want to feel that I have wasted 4 years of my life (especially since I'm getting close to 40) and created a big debt from student loans for nothing.

I am trying to trust God in this. I am trying to believe that He will get me into the program, that He didn't bring me to get this education for nothing. I knew going into this that it would be a long haul (6 years in total), and I don't think He would bring through this far to drop me on my butt and laugh at me for believing that I could be a teacher.

I'm just rambling now I think...more to get this off my chest and just ask for prayer and guidance and wisdom in all of this. Also I need prayers that I will trust and believe that God will bring me through this. I feel weak (not physically, but spiritually and emotionally), but I guess that is good because it is in my weakness that God is made strong...that His strength can get me through this. I just have a huge fear about this. I don't want to fail at this. I don't want to not get into the program. I don't want to fear...I want to trust and believe but I am having a hard time with it in this situation for some reason.

Anyway, I would appreciate some prayer for this. I don't want to worry and fret about it. I want to know that this is what God wants for me and to stop fearing. But it keeps niggling at my mind today and it wont stop.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Post-Christmas Post

Well, Christmas is over and I think it went well. I made it to church and enjoyed the service (the pastor spoke on John 1 about Jesus being with God and was God in the beginning, and how He was made flesh and dwelled among us). There were several people there, but not as many as I had thought might be - though I do know several families were away so they obviously weren't going to be there, and I am sure there were some who just didn't want to attend for various reasons.

My family gathered together after church (I was the only one who went) and had our dinner when I got home and before we could really finish eating (we didn't even get to the pie) before my little nephew started rummaging through the presents wanting to open them. It was great fun though watching him open all his gifts.

Since Christmas I have really felt the desire to have children yet again. It was really strong on Christmas day at church when they had a baby dedication for a little girl who was probably only a couple of weeks old. It actually brought tears to my eyes, not because I was jealous or because it was overly touching (though I always like the baby dedications). No, the desire I had was so strong that I was wishing it were me up there having my baby dedicated.

I think that these feelings might be being triggered because my birthday is coming up and I'll be 37 and still unmarried. I just feel like I'm getting old and my time for having kids is running out. I know God has a plan for my life, but I don't know if it involved being married and having kids, and that is what is scary. I know his plan is for the best for me, but it can get hard at times not knowing.

I'm not feeling pity for myself or anything like that, and in fact I've been better since then; however, the desires are still there and I'm trying to give it all to God and let him control the situation...but again, that is hard.

Anyway, change of topic. One of the gifts I got my nephew for Christmas was a sweater that I made for him. I finished it up Christmas Eve Day, and everyone seemed to like it. Here is a picture I took of the sweater. Some people were asking to see a picture of it when I was done, so here is the long promised picture of the sweater...

It's made from Lion Brand Homespun (I think that's what it's called) yarn, and it is very soft and warm. It was easy to work with and I used 6.5mm needles and it knit up quite fast. I just hope I tied all the ends tight enough and with the right knot so that it doesn't fall apart lol. That's my big fear is that I'll make something for someone and they'll wash it and it will end up falling apart.

Anyway I have to get up early again for work tomorrow. Not sure how much longer I'll be going in - depends on the workload, if it dwindles down like it always does after Christmas, it wouldn't surprise me if I only work the rest of this week. We'll see. I'd like some time to myself over the break to do nothing but relax before going back to school and I will probably get it, just not sure how soon it will start. So, I will head off now and get a little knitting done before I head off to bed to get up early.

Have a Christ filled day!!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

What Else Can I Say?

I wanted to have a wonderful post for Christmas. I've been to many a blog over the last few weeks that have had excellent stories, poems, and discussions regarding the Christmas season. I don't know what else I can say that hasn't already been said.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish one and all a very blessed and Christ filled Christmas. As Christians, we all know the reason for the season is the birth of Jesus, the Christ/Messiah, the promised Saviour that the Lord God has sent to offer forgiveness of sins and eternal life to all who believe and confess that Jesus is Lord.

Christmas is not about the tree, the decorations, the presents, the singing, the snow, the lights, the parties, etc. No, Christmas is about a little tiny baby born over 2000 years ago who would grow up to give His life for us. Christmas is about Jesus, nothing more nothing less.

For those who happen to read this and are not Christians I urge you to seek Jesus, to ask questions. The Bible tells us that the only way to the Father (God) is through the Son (Jesus) and that only those who believe that Jesus is who He said He is and accepts Him as their personal Saviour will spend eternity in Heaven with Him.

The world is full of lies and half truths which try to tell us that Jesus is not the only way to heaven, or that it does not matter what we believe, or even that our works will get us to heaven. They are wrong. Satan has spread this garbage around and wants people to believe this so that they will not be on God's side. Let me tell you this...if you are not for God, you are against Him; that means that you side with satan, and while you may not practice 'satanic worship' believe me you ARE on satan's side. There are no two ways about it. Jesus is the ONLY way to heaven and eternal life.

So, this holiday season, remember that we celebrate CHRISTmas, the birth of Christ our Saviour.

What Child Is This
What Child is this who, laid to restOn Mary’s lap is sleeping?
Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,While shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King,Whom shepherds guard and angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Why lies He in such mean estate,Where ox and ass are feeding?
Good Christians, fear, for sinners hereThe silent Word is pleading.
Nails, spear shall pierce Him through,The cross be borne for me, for you.
Hail, hail the Word made flesh,The Babe, the Son of Mary.

So bring Him incense, gold and myrrh,Come peasant, king to own Him;
The King of kings salvation brings,Let loving hearts enthrone Him.
Raise, raise a song on high,The virgin sings her lullaby.
Joy, joy for Christ is born,The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Just A Little Update

Well, I have been at work for three days now and it feels a lot longer than that. I would have thought my first day back would have gone by somewhat fast, considering I haven't done that work since August. However, the day just dragged on and on and on and on and on get the picture.

Yesterday and today we were able to go in for 7am, but I got there around 7:15 or 7:30 and worked each day (including Monday) until 4:30. The days are long and do not move at any steady pace, but insist on slinking by slower than cold molassas running up the hill backwards! I'd like to say that the pay will be good, and it will, but a lot of it will go to the government who seems to think it necessary to take such a huge chunk of my cheque for taxes. Oh well, at least I am able to get a week or two of work over the holiday to give me some money for school.

I got my assessment for my student loan for the next semester, and it doesn't look like I will have much money left over for books and such. I fear that I won't have any money, that it will all go towards tuition and grad fees and such. Oh well, I will leave it in God's hands and He will take care of me through all of it...I am trusting Him to provide for me financially again. He's done it before in the past, and I know He can do it again; so I won't worry about it.

Well, I just wanted to post a little update. I'm gonna head out now to work on my knitting (the sweater I'm making my nephew for Christmas) so I can get it done on time. I am going to try to get to bed again early tonight (and hopefully tonight I will actually be able to get to sleep and not toss and turn for a couple hours and end up with only four hours of sleep) because we can go in to work as early as 6:30 tomorrow morning. I don't think I'll go in that early - maybe for 7:30, otherwise it makes too long of a day for me (which I'm not used to), and I don't want to end up just giving my pay cheque to the government...cause if I go in early (to which I do not get time and a half or anything luxurious as that), most of the 'extra' money I earn would only be deducted off the pay cheque for taxes anyway...

I hope you are all having blessed and Christ filled days!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Woo Hoo!!

I am finally done my exams. I got my take home for Reformation done earlier this evening and handed in. My friend Sarah was going in to the school to drop her exam off and I asked if she would mind picking me up on her way so I could get mine dropped off as well. She agreed.

It feels so good to be done with studying for this term. The time has gone fast as I look back, and I have a feeling this next semester will go by quickly as well...and then comes graduation. Scary thought. I don't think I did as well this semester as I have the last three years, so I'm not looking forward to getting my marks back. If I did well, then it will be a miracle.

Tomorrow I start work again and will make a little bit of money. I will more than likely be working this next week full days (and probably some overtime as well because the work picks up a lot at Christmas and besides, they are short two girls because one moved away and another is out until after Christmas...she's having a hysterectomy done). Things will start to slow down between Christmas and New Years, so I may get a few days in next week, but now sure how many. They don't like having extra help in when the work slows down because we end up only working until 1 or 2 in the afternoon and the girls complain that they aren't getting the hours. I can't say that I blame them. Besides, I'd like to have some time to myself over vacation before school starts back up again...just so I can relax before the start of the semester.

I think we go back on the 16th of January which seems a little late this year, but I could be wrong about that. Oh well, I don't mind.

Anyway, I'm off to bed now because I need to get some sleep for work. Going to have long days that I'm not really used to (with the exception of Tuesday's and Thursday's my days were short at school this semester). Also, I will have to get up around 6:30, which I am really not used to. I'll be going in for 8:00 tomorrow. I would imagine things will go well, but it's data entry so that means typing all day. My wrists are feeling a little sore already from all the typing I've been doing the last little while for school, so I hope they won't be bothering me at work. to slumber land now...have a Christ filled and blessed day everyone!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

The Colors of Christmas

I got this in an email today and thought it was good. Not entirely sure how I feel about the last little part though regarding the symbol of Santa though...

The Colors of Christmas

Christmas Eve, I sank back, tired, but content, into my easy chair. The kids were in bed, the gifts were wrapped, the milk and cookies waited by the fireplace for Santa. As I sat back admiring the tree with its decorations, I couldn't help feeling that something important was missing. It wasn't long before the tiny twinkling tree lights lulled me to sleep.

I don't know how long I slept, but all of a sudden I knew that I wasn't alone. I opened my eyes, and you can imagine my surprise when I saw Santa Claus, himself, standing next to my Christmas tree. He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot just as the poem described him, but he was not the "jolly old elf" of Christmas legend. The man who stood before me looked sad and disappointed. And there were tears in his eyes.

"Santa, what's wrong?" I asked, "Why are you crying?"

"It's the children," Santa replied sadly.

"But Santa, the children love you," I said.

"Oh, I know they love me, and they love the gifts I bring them," Santa said, "but the children of today seem to have somehow missed out on the true spirit of Christmas. It's not their fault. It's just that the adults, many of them not having been taught themselves, have forgotten to teach the children."

"Teach them what?" I asked.

Santa's kind old face became soft, more gentle. His eyes began to shine with something more than tears. He spoke softly.

"Teach the children the true meaning of Christmas. Teach them that the part of Christmas we can see, hear, and touch is much more than meets the eye. Teach them the symbolism behind the customs and traditions of Christmas which we now observe. Teach them what it is they truly represent."

Santa reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny Christmas tree and set it on my mantle.
"Teach them about the Christmas tree. Green is the second color of Christmas. The stately evergreen, with its unchanging color, represents the hope of eternal life in Jesus. Its needles point heavenward as a reminder that mankind's thoughts should turn heavenward as well."
Santa reached into his bag again and pulled out a shiny star and placed it at the top of the small tree.

"The star was the heavenly sign of promise. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of that promise on the night that Jesus Christ was born. Teach the children that God always fulfills His promises, and that wise men still seek Him."

"Red," said Santa, "is the first color of Christmas." "He pulled forth a red ornament for the tiny tree. Red is deep, intense, vivid. It is the color of the life-giving blood that flows through our veins. It is the symbol of God's greatest gift. Teach the children that Christ gave His life and shed His blood for them that they might have eternal life. When they see the color red, it should remind them of that most wonderful gift."

Santa found a silver bell in his pack and placed it on the tree. "Just as lost sheep are guided to safety by the sound of the bell, it continues to ring today for all to be guided to the fold. Teach the children to follow the true Shepherd, who gave His life for the sheep."

Santa placed a candle on the mantle and lit it. The soft glow from its one tiny flame brightened the room. "The glow of the candle represents how people can show their thanks for the gift of God's son that Christmas Eve long ago. Teach the children to follow in Christ's go about doing good. Teach them to let their light shine before people that all may see it and glorify God. This is what's symbolized when the twinkle lights shine on the tree like hundreds of bright shining lights, each of them representing one of God's precious children's light shining for all to see."

Again Santa reached into his bag and this time he brought forth a tiny red and white striped cane. As he hung it on the tree he spoke softly. "The candy cane is a stick of hard white candy. White to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the foundation of the church, and the firmness of God's promises. The candy cane forms a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth. It also represents the Good Shepherd's crook, which He uses to reach down into all ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who, like all sheep, have gone astray. The original candy cane had three small red stripes, which are the stripes of the scourging Jesus received by which we are healed, and a large red stripe that represents the shed blood of Jesus, so that we can have the promise of eternal life. Teach these things to the children."

Santa brought out a beautiful wreath made of fresh, fragrant greenery tied with a bright red bow. "The bow reminds us of the bond of perfection, which is love. The wreath embodies all the good things about Christmas for those with eyes to see and hearts to understand. It contains the colors of red and green and the heaven-turned needles of the evergreen. The bow tells the story of good will towards all and its color reminds us of Christ's sacrifice. Even its very shape is symbolic, representing eternity and the eternal nature of Christ's love. It is a circle, without beginning and without end. These are the things you must teach the children."

I asked, "But where does that leave you Santa?" The tears gone now from his eyes, a smile broke over Santa's face. "Why bless you, my dear," he laughed, "I'm only a symbol myself. I represent the spirit of family fun and the joy of giving and receiving. If the children are taught these other things, there is no danger that I'll ever be forgotten."
"I think I'm beginning to understand."

"That's why I came," said Santa. "You're an adult. If you don't teach the children these things, then who will?"

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A Little Bit Of Humour

I got this from my mom and dad's horticultural's quite funny, or at least I thought it was...hope you enjoy!

Wrapping Hints for Cat Owners

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

7. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

8. Remove present from bag.

9. Remove cat from bag.

10. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

11. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

12. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

13. Cut the paper to size.

14. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors and tore the paper.

15. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.

16. Place present on paper.

17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach and realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

18. Place object on paper to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.

19. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

20. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.

21. Repeat all previous steps until you come to your last sheet of wrapping paper.

22. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials

23. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.

24. Lay out last sheet of paper (this will be difficult in the small area between the toilet and the sink, but do your best).

25. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out and hunt through various cupboards looking for sheet of last year's paper.

26. Rember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.

27. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

28. Put name tag on present. Sit back and congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.

29. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

30. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

31. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

32. Go to store and buy a gift bag.

33. Drive home.

34. Remove cat from gift bag and give him a treat...he's had a long day!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Angel Alert!

Tonight was the annual Sunday School Christmas concert at church. This year, for the second year in a row, they did a little musical. Unlike past years when the adult classes also took part, by singing a song or reading some scripture, it was just the kids and youth...mostly the kids (all dressed as angels), and middle school (angels as well), but the high school youth (not dressed as angels) got up and sang a song. It was all great though.

The musical they did was called 'Angel Alert', and it was about the angels getting ready to proclaim the birth of Jesus. There were several songs as well as speaking parts, and the kids did a fabulous job. Before it started, they had the toddlers (with their moms) walk up and across the stage so that they could "take part" as well. There were only about four or five of them, but they did their walk without any complications or tears. Can you say adorable?! I turned to my friend Kristina and proclaimed that I wanted "one of those" (meaning the kids)...actually I said that and added, "or four or five of them". My heart really ached tonight for a child; it's times like this when the longing to have kids really hits hard.

Anyway, the kids did fantastic with the singing and actions to the words. There were some who weren't on cue or didn't seem to know the words or actions well, but you get that for anything like this...and you have to give them credit for getting up there and performing in front of everyone. I know I'd be nervous if it were me!

At one point, they had the three and four year olds up to take part in a song and one little fellow was more interested in playing with the microphone stand, cord and sponge cover thingy that fits over the microphone. Everyone was laughing at three year old cuteness!

So, other than longing to have children of my own to watch as they take part in the concert, I really enjoyed the concert. The two ladies who were in charge of this did a fantastic job at putting it all together. Two of the ladies Sunday School classes did the costumes, and one of the deacons (who probably had some help) did the scenery, and others helping out with sound, lights, power point, and refreshments...everyone did a fantastic job!

Anyway, just thought I'd share my evening with you. Hope your day is and was Christ filled!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Sorry, We're Closed...

I just had a mini conversation with someone who told me he had just read that these so called "mega" churches have gotten together and decided they will close their doors on Christmas this year. As you probably no doubt know, Christmas is on a Sunday this year.

What's wrong with this picture? I mean, think about it...Jesus is the reason for the season isn't He? Afterall, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ! Sure, the holiday seems to have taken a nose dive into commercialism for the past, I don't know, mega several years. Sure, Jesus has been replaced by Santa for a lot of people. Sure Rudolph is a star in his own right...cartoons and songs in his honour...and the evil monster Greed has crept up and taken over the season...

Christmas just isn't what it originally was...ok there are those who say it's based on pagan rituals and stuff...trees being decorated or something like that, the day it is celebrated is supposedly a pagan holiday or something...I can't even begin to remember all the so called "associations" with pagan holidays and rituals that people claim to have been adopted into the Christian Holy Day...I don't begin to even understand it all...

All I know is that for Christians, the day is meant to celebrate the birth of Christ (though the Bible says nothing of remembering his birth, only His death...but I'm not against celebrating his birth), the fact that God humbled Himself and came to the earth as a tiny baby who had come to save mankind from his/her sins and offer eternal life.

So, if Jesus is the reason for the season, why are these churches closing their doors on Christmas day? I just don't get it. The church should be there for those who are seeking Christ, and what better day to be open than Christmas day!

Service start a little too early and someone is afraid they won't get the presents unwrapped soon enough? No problem, wait until after the service...the presents aren't going anywhere. Afraid the turkey might not be cooked by noon? No problem, wait til after the service...nothing says you can't have your turkey closer to supper time (or early evening) instead of noon or just after.

I mean, think about it...would Jesus close the doors to His house if He were there? I'm guessing no...I'm guessing He'd have them wide open ready to welcome His guests and, again I ask...what's up with closing the church on Christmas day?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Housekeeping Items

No, I'm not talking about vaccuming and dusting...

Housekeeping Items:

1. Those of you who've visited my friend Kate's blog (at Kingdom Son) has moved. She tells her reasons why in her new blog at
Lighting My Way. Please visit her new blog.

2. Some prayer requests: Myself for upcoming exams;
Jayleigh is feeling ill and mentions it on her blog; Saija is in the process of selling her house, and mentions it on her blog; and Rebekah can always use our prayers.

Jennifer has a great series she is doing on the birth of Christ.

Paula has an amazing testimony that belongs to Jeff, a Messianic Jew, on her blog. If you haven't read it you, I encourage you to do so. She also has a link to his site as well so you can stop by and visit him too.

Well, I guess the last item that I want to share is praise to God. I got my mid term mark back today, finally, for my 1 Samuel class and did much better than I thought. I got 35/40. The prof said that if he could remember correctly, he believes that I got the highest mark in the class. So, I give my praise to the Lord for this!

Friday, December 02, 2005

A Fun Day

I had a fun day today. I wasn't overly productive in anything and got a few thing accomplished that I wanted to, but none the less, I had fun and that is what counts.

My nearly two and a half year old nephew was up today for the day, as he is every Friday. What made today fun, was he and I made gingerbread men. I've never made gingerbread before so I didn't know how it was going to turn out. I searched and found several recipies for gingerbread; not knowing which would be best, I picked one and printed it off.

"D" (my nephew) seemed to have fun and helped make the cookies. I would measure out the ingredients and he would dump them into the bowl and stir. Mind you, I would also stir to make sure everything was mixed well. Once we got everything mixed, we attempted to roll out some of the dough and use his little gingerbread man cookie cutter I got for him today. We ran into a problem...the dough was too sticky. The recipe said to add a little more flour (no more than 1/2 cup more), so I did. Only problem was, it didn't help.

I was getting frustrated because D's mom and dad (his dad is my brother) were coming to get him about an hour from that point, and I had wanted to get them made and cooled so he could take some with him. I tried several times (with D helping to roll it out and cut the cookies with his "gooey uh-er" as he called it. That part was fine, but trying to pull away the excess dough or get it off the counter was impossible. It was still too sticky. I did manage to get some odd shaped gingerbread men onto the cookie sheet and bake those ones (only 6). They didn't turn out too badly, though we rolled the dough a little too thin so it was more crispy around the edges and on a couple they were the tiniest bit burnt. So, I knew not to cut them so thin next time.

Well, I had read on a couple of other recipies for the gingerbread men (on the site) that the dough should be refrigerated for a little while to make it not so sticky and easier to roll out, etc. I put the batch into the fridge and let it cool.

My parents and I went out for supper and we got back around 7:30ish so I decided that I would attempt to make the cookies. I floured the counter and rolling pin a bit to prevent sticking, got the dough out of the fridge and proceeded to roll it and cut out the cookies. Wow! It actually worked! So, believe me when I tell you that if you have not made these things, make sure you chill the dough for a couple of hours first!! I have about another 6 cookies at least to make...maybe 12 and then I'm completely done with that for today.

I figured I would save out some for D and let him know those were the ones he helped me make and he could take them home. I also thought if they tasted good that I would take some to the kids in the Sunday School class I help teach. Might be a nice little treat for them, that is if they like gingerbread...anyway, I didn't want to take them if they were gross, so naturally, like all good cooks, I sampled :o). Mmmmmmm! It was good! So, I think I will take enough in for the class tomorrow and leave whatever is left here.

So, as I finish up with this adventure I am thinking I need to get a start on my Colonial America paper that is due on Tuesday. I guess that will be the rest of my excitement for what is left of today.

Hope you had a Christ filled day, and that you will have one tomorrow as well! God bless.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A Letter For You...

I received this email the other day, and I wanted to share it with you all. I hope that it makes us all stop and think and to remember who Christmas is all about.

Remember My Birthday?

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated.

During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer. It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me.

As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face......... and I wanted to be with them and share their table. In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me.

Since I was not invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a great time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying : "Santa Claus, Santa Claus"... as if the party were in his honor !

At 12 midnight all the people began to hug each other ; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and .... do you know .... no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me. What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one ? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you. Today, I only want that you believe this with all you heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invitation, will be left outside.

Do you know how you can answer this invitation? it is by extending it to others whom you care for... I'll be waiting for all of you to attend my party this year... See you soon ....

I love you !


Monday, November 28, 2005

Third Place

Well, my latest short story has placed 3rd in the Intermediate level at the Faith Writer's site. This one was entered into the topic of Winter. Praises go to God my King for this. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you thought.

Have a Christ filled day!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you."

For me, I find this to be very true. Every time I do cast my burdens, cares, worries, etc. on the Lord, I feel a weight lifted from my shulders and I do know that He will sustain me, help me, guide me and lead me through out every situation.

However, knowing and doing are two totally differnt things. For some reason I find it difficult to actually cast things onto the Lord. There are many reasons: "What IF He doesn't sustain me?", "What IF the things that happens isn't what I wanted or hoped for because I gave it to Him?" and any other 'what if' sort of question.

Maybe, rather than focusing negatively on this results I could ask more positive questions like: "What IF I give it to Him and the end result is far better than I had hoped for?", "What IF I am more blessed for trusting God in the situation than in trusting myself?", "What IF I give it all to Him and don't have to worry anymore."

I think that could help - rather than looking at something and asking negative type questions, I ask the positive ones and then actually take action and give the problem/situation to Him. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is all in the attitude. If I focus on this negatively and fearfully then I am more apt to keep the control myself, get stressed out, and develop more fear, etc.

Fear is also a big factor for me - the fear of possibly losing control over a situation or whatever. Ultimately I am NOT in control; God is. I think this fear of losing control is a 'natural' human tait that is inborn in us. This is definately something I need to work on.

I know the only way I can overcome all of this is with His help. It is a constant 'struggle', but I know when I actually 'let go and let God', things work out far better than if I try to keep the control myself. I don't always try to keep the control myself, but it does happen often. I am learning though. I need to cast not only my burden, but my life on the Lord and let Him sustain me in any and every situation. This isn't just something to do once or twice or once in a blue moon, but always.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

A Lesson To Learn

With all that I have been going through the past week, I am sure the Lord is trying to teach me a lesson. I know that things can happen for many reason, to draw us closer to Him, to help us learn to depend on Him, to strengthen us or even "just because".

For those of you who read my post about the struggle I was having with regard to my Reformation paper, you will recall that I was very stressed about it and had decided that I wanted to drop the course. You will also recall that I spoke to the lady from the registrar's department (I'll call her J) at church on Sunday about this. She was able to calm my fears and give me reassurance about this whole situation.

On Saturday night, I prayed about the situation and I told God that whatever it was He wanted me to do with regard to the course, then I would do it. I told Him if He wanted me to drop it I would, but I also told Him if He wanted me to continue then I would. I just needed for Him to let me know by Sunday because the paper was due Monday.

Well, after talking to J, I felt I had my answer. God wanted me to continue. Wonderful. I was hoping He'd let me drop it to be honest with you, but I obeyed and continued...mainly because I didn't want to get an automatic 'F' for dropping at this late date (which I would get even if I had an A up to that point).

So, I am still in the course. I then thanked the Lord for answering the prayer and for His guidance and for J's reassurance as well. My next request was to ask for His help and the words to say in the paper because I really didn't know what I was doing with this paper. It was the hardest one that I believe I have had to write to date. I told Him my biggest fear was that I ended up doing this wrong and although I stuck to the topic, I feard that I didn't write what I was supposed to about the topic (eschatology in the Reformation). Well, I still don't know if I have written it correctly, but I can't do anything about that now.

So, to get back to the whole lesson part now. I believe that the Lord was/is trying to teach me to persevere, to not take the easy way out. The easy way would have been to drop the course and not deal with the whole paper and presentation issue (we have to do a 10 minute presentation on our paper in front of the class as well and I don't want to present something that I did wrong, so that is part of the fear I have).

I believe the Lord is also trying to teach me (again) to rely on Him, to put Him in my schoolwork and to do it for Him. I can so easily tend to get caught up in the schoolwork and not include Him in it. While I will pray for help or even thank Him for the possibility to go to school, I often just leave Him other words, I focus on my work more than Him.

I know I have to learn this for a reason. I have no idea why, whether it is just a "life lesson" to learn, or if He has something specific planned for me later on in which I need to be able to persevere and rely on Him without giving up. Regardless of what the answer is, I need to remember to let Him help me and not try to do things on my own strength.

I also think He is trying to teach me that it's ok if I get a C instead of a B. It's not the end of the world if I do. Because for me, I feel that I need to get high marks or I am dumb. I know that isn't true, but to me high marks are very important. I think too, that because of my age (36) people expect more out of me, or that at the very least I should be getting high marks. Part of this is just a personal thing, part of it is pride, and yet part of it is also wanting to get praise for good marks. Those are things I have to get rid of: pride, wanting praise for what I do (so that the focus is on me...making this a selfish thing).

So, that is what I have been thinking the last couple of days. God is probably trying to teach me a lesson that I need to learn (or relearn). It's hard and frustrating, but no one said it would be easy. And if it is something I need to learn, I am sure there is a reason for it and I will one day find out why.

Now, with what I have left of this semester, I need to remember to keep Him in all of this; to put Him ahead of school work, to seek His guidance, and to do what He wants me to do. Now, He just needs to give me the strength and energy to get through the next 3-4 weeks...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Prayer Request

Please visit my friend Kate over at Kingdom of the Son as she is going through a very stressful time right now with school and other things. I'm sure she would love to have your prayers.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Just An Update

Just wanted to let everyone know about the situation with my paper for Reformation class.

I talked to someone from the registrar's office, and she informed me that the cut off day to drop out of classes for the fall semester wasn't that long ago, maybe two weeks. If I drop out of the class now, it is an automatic 'F' and not a "WF" (withdraw fail). So, I really have no choice but to stay in the class and just do what I can. She also informed me that even if I walk out of that class with a C- for a mark, it won't bring my GPA down all that much (maybe from a B to a B-), and she also reassured me that it wouldn't have that much effect on me for the education program. She said that marks are only worth about 25% of the overall assessment, as there is also an essay to write, references and an interview as well. I felt better after talking with her.

So, I trudged on yesterday afternoon and evening working at my paper. I worked at it until about 12:30 am and went to bed, getting up at 6:00 am to work on it for another four hours. I went to class today, figuring that I would come home and work on it again for another 2 1/2 hours and drop it off by the cutoff time. However, when I got to class, the prof said that there were a few people who had asked for extention dates because of books not getting in on time (through interlibrary loan) and he gave them extra time. He said if anyone else was in the same boat and wanted to get extra time to come see him after class. I went up and told him that was my situation as well and he asked how long I would need. I told him I had checked my email during class (yeah, I know I shouldn't have been doing that during class, and normally I don't) and had gotten an email saying my books were in, though it didn't say how many had come in. I said I would do my "absolute bestest" (and yes that's the way I said it) to get it in on Wednesday. I didn't want to say the end of the week for two reasons: 1. I didn't want him to think I didn't have much of it done (I had about half or a little more done at this point) and didn't want to press my luck, and 2. I have another term paper to work on for next Tuesday. So he said to try to get it in on Wednesday and if by then I still needed a couple more days if my books didn't all come in, then he'd see to pushing it to Friday or Monday.

The only reason he was willing to let us have an extention for this situation was because our presentations for these paper topics isn't for another couple of weeks. Had we had to start them today or Wednesday, he wouldn't have done it.

So, I feel that God is working through this all. I prayed on Saturday night (when I wrote the last post) and told God that whatever He wanted for me with this class - to drop it or stay in - I would do, and He would have to help me with this because of the book situation I was in. He has followed through. I felt that He wanted me to stay in the class and not take the easy way out (dropping it), so I stayed. I really believe God worked in this situation for me, because normally this prof wouldn't have allowed an extention for something like this. I guess this is what they call grace maybe...whoever it's from, the prof or God, regadless I am grateful for it.

Tonight, I need to work on a book review that is due tomorrow (Tuesday), and then I will be working on this paper Tuesday...oh and I have to remember I have a small quiz in this same class for Wednesday.

So, off I go to do more schoolwork. God bless, and have a Christ filled day!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Feeling Like...

Hmmm, just what am I feeling like right now? Well, let me see...confrazzled works, so does befuddled and just plaint frantic and almost hyperventilating (or however you spell it). Why do I feel like this? Well, my Reformation paper is due on Monday and I goofed up majorly and my books I ordered on inter-library loan did not come in. What sources I do have do not seem to be helping and it just isn't going well. This paper (and the presentation that goes along with it) is worth 40% of my mark. Sure, I could have worked a little harder on this...started earlier or whatever, and actually I did, but was having a hard time finding books. The first batch I ordered inter-library turned out to be the wrong ones. I went to the prof and he helped me some, but none the less, I goofed up. I own up to that, and trust me when I say it hurts like heck to admit that.

I plan on applying for the education program, and while they say grades aren't everything, the do affect getting in or not to the program...well to a degree. If I stay in this Reformation class and fail it or just get by, my GPA (grade point average) will go down a lot and that will have some affect for me. If I withdraw from the class, I will get a 'W' (withdrawl) on my record, but that doesn't affect the GPA or anything. It just shows that you had to leave the class for some particular reason. If I were failing the course and withdrew, then I would have a WF on my record and that would be worse because that would affect later on. To the best of my knowledge, I am passing this course. I don't know if dropping out of the course at this late date would still give me WF or not. I think it would only be a W though.

It really pains me to drop out of this course (or any for that matter) because it makes me feel like a failure. Sure, if I failed the course, then I would be a failure (well, you know what I mean). You can ask anyone who knows me that I have not dropped out of any of my courses yet and I always feel upset at the possibility because I don't want it to affect my records. Everyone always tells me the only way it would is if I withdrew with a failing grade.

Anyway, I'm sitting here in tears, literally. I have messed up. Yeah, I know there are worse things that could happen. But quite honestly at this moment, that doesn't help. I think my pride is getting in the way with this. It's taking a beating at having to admit I messed up and I am the only one to blame for this. It's getting in the way, telling me I'm a failure for dropping the class...though I know I'm not.

Anyway, I hate this. I really do, and I have no one to blame but myself. So, that is what I'll do.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Crunch Time

Just wanted to let everyone know that if I am not able to post anything (or much of anything), there is a good reason. Crunch Time has hit. What is Crunch Time you may ask? Well, it happens to every student everywhere all over the world. Those last several weeks of the end of a semester when everything hits at once.

This week (Thursday to be exact), I have my Hebrew mid term; next Monday I have a term paper due for my Reformation class; the next day, Tuesday, I have a book review due for my Colonial America class. The next week my term paper for my class on 1 Samuel is due, and the following week my term paper for Colonial America is due. Then, around that time as well, I have a presentation in my Reformation class - this presentation is on the paper that I have to write. Then...oh yes, there is more...then exams start!

So, I will be busy the next little while. I am hoping to pop on and get some posting done on my blog, as well as read other people's. If you can remember, I would appreciate prayers during this busy stressfilled time. Will keep you posted on how things are going.

Have a Christ filled day!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Lest We Forget

Today, November 11, is Remembrance Day here in Canada. It is a day to pay tribute and honour to the veterans who fought in the various wars to help keep our country free. Below, I have copied the famous poem written by a WW1 Canadian physician who wrote this while serving in the war. His name was John McCrea, and this is his poem:

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the
crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks,
still bravely singing,
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are
the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
and were loved, and now we
In Flanders fields.
Take up our
quarrel with the foe:
To you
from failing hands we throw
The torch;
be yours to hold it high.
If ye
break faith with us who die
We shall
not sleep, though poppies grow
Flanders fields.

(Poem taken from

So, here's to all the men and women who have served our country in the various battles through these many years. Thank you for your sacrifice in doing this so that we can live in a free country. God bless you.

(picture from

Thursday, November 10, 2005

My Prayer To God Today

Be gracious to me, O God, according to your lovingkindness; according to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.

Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in You sight, so that You are justified when you speak and blameless when You judge.

Behold, You desire truth in the innmost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not case me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.

O Lord, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise.

For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.


(Psalm 51: 1-4, 6-7, 9-12, 15-17)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

A Revelation of Sorts

This morning I had allowed myself to think of something that hurts me everytime I dwell on it. It is selfish, I suppose, this thought I was focusing on. If you could imagine me at the center of the picture with the words "woe is me" all around it, then you might have an idea of the way I see this as. In a sense, it might have been a pity party for one, and I was the guest of honour.

I often wonder why I don't have tons of friends. I have a small group of three or four close friends, which is great (and these ladies are fantabulous!); yet when I see others with lots of friends, people surrounding them wanting to talk about this or that, going out places together, you name it...I wonder why that can't be me. Why can't I have more friends who want to be intimate with me (and no, I am so not referring to sexual intimacy here), rather than just superficial?

I am somewhat extroverted, though I am also introverted (depends on the situation and if I feel comfortable or not). I try to be friendly to people, laugh and joke, etc. But yet I feel as though most of the people I have contact with are more of an 'acquaintance' type than a 'friend' type of person. It could be that trust is hard for me; I've had my trust broken a lot by various friends and others so I think that is one of those "deep down" things that hinder me from becoming friends with someone. It's not necessarily a grudge, but if someone has broken my trust, I tend not to trust them again - or at very least it takes me a long time to gain that trust back.

I know I am not perfect, far from it. I know that at times I can talk too much (which happens more frequently than I like), and that some people probably think I'm weird or something because of this; I know that there must be things about me that speak to others yet I am totally blind about...otherwise, wouldn't people want to get to know me? Sounds selfish or self-centered, I know, but I am not meaning every single person I come in contact with. I am meaning anyone in general. What is so wrong with me that people are just satisfied with being know the "How are you? How is school? You must be done soon, eh?" kind of talk...small talk I guess. Why doesn't anyone want to dig deeper and find out more about me, or want to get to know me better and be my friend? Am I that bad? Am I that uninteresting? Do I talk that much? Is it because I am not exciting and interesting to them? It really makes me feel like I'm not good enough. It makes me feel like I don't fit in anywhere in church, or life for that matter. I suppose this is my "focusing on worldly things" attitude speaking, but I wonder about this and I often feel hurt by it. Of course I don't show it to others because heaven forbid they see me cry! Or worse yet, I will find out exactly why they don't like me!

So, I sat here in the living room, alone and talked to God. I had a heart to heart, and let the tears flow, let my eyes get all puffy and red (it's ok because no one is home except for me) and I told Him what I was feeling. Well, maybe not told, but asked a lot of questions. I felt so down on myself, so negative; and again that is wrong because I am being too self-centered. I know it is OK to take this sort of thing to God and talk to Him about it, but I can't help but feel like I do this sort of thing too often. It seems to be more about 'me' than 'others'.

As I cried and asked my questions (those 'what is wrong with me' kind of questions) and confessed that I talk to much (while thinking that I am going to do my best to speak less, shorten my words down so that I can say things in a couple of sentences rather than give details and stuff), I came to my answer. I don't know if God gave it to me, or He just let me talk and talk until I arrived at it myself or what. Anyway, I laid down on the floor prostrate (something I have never done) and repented and confessed that I am worrying about 'worldly' things too much, worrying about others liking me and wanting to be my friend (among other things) when all that I should be focusing on is God and that He like me. I know He does, and I know He more than likes me - He loves me. Basically, I rededicated myself to Him - told Him to use me where He wanted, asked for His help in getting closer and intimate with Him, asked for His strength and comfort and peace. I told Him that He could have every part of me - school, church, home life, worries, fears, everything. I know He will not let me down, but for some reason I feel afraid of what He will have me do...natural, or is it satan playing on me? Why does this scare me?

I need my embers to be rekindled into that flame I had in the beginning of my faith. I need that passion and drive I once had. I need to stay focused on Him. I need to give Him every part of my life. I need to spend more time with Him than I have been. I need His beauty pouring out from every part of me. I need for Him to be reflected in me and in my that when others are around me, they can see Him. Is this selfish? Maybe. But I think it is something that He wants from each of His children. I am not saying I want this so that people will be friends with me or want to get to know me. I am saying this because I know that is what He wants...evidence of Him in our lives.

So, now I am sitting here feeling a little better. It still bothers me a little that I feel like people don't want to get to know me or don't care to get to know me...but I can't focus on that. I can't. I have prayed and asked God to help me to not care about it and asked Him to help me focus on Him.

Now comes the hard part...doing it.

My Christian walk has been up and down for awhile now it seems. I have never lost my belief in Jesus, my faith in Him or anything like that; but the walk itslef has been a struggle. A struggle to be in prayer and in the word more than I do; a struggle to spend quiet time with Him; a struggle to not focus on me and waste my time on things when I could be using it to spend with God. I guess it is a struggle we all face at times, though (I'm not the only one to go through this). I want Christ to be evident in my life, evident in what I say and do to/for others. I want them to recognized that I am a Christian. I don't know, maybe I'm just emotional right now, and maybe it's satan...I don't know. All I know is that I could use some prayer.

Friday, November 04, 2005


How creative is our God? One of the ways we can witness His creativity is in His creation of human beings. Each of us has a face, and for the most part, each is different. Sure, there are twins, triplets, etc. or maybe people not related who might look like someone else, but that's not where I'm heading with this post.

To give a bit of background, this past Wednesday in my drawing class we learned to draw faces. This was one of the things that I have really wanted to learn to draw...especially in a realistic way (so that they don't look so cartoonish or childish). We learned two techniques, but I am finding so far the second one easier for me (though I will continue to practice the first one). The above drawings are what I did the past two days. So far they don't look overly realistic, but I'll be working on that. They aren't very good, but remember that I'm only just learning this.

The prof took us through each step, showing us what to do and then we would try it. It was interesting to go around the room and see everyone's results. Some were really good, some mediocre, and some really needed a lot of practice. However, that isn't the point. The point is this: the faces drawn were all different; kind of like how God has designed our faces different.

I have practiced a couple of faces since I then, and though they are somewhat similar to a degree, there are still differences. This got me thinking about real people, and their faces.

Generally, our face is our identification. When we think of someone, it is their face that pops into our mind. Faces, for most people, are what attracts us to others (but yes, there are other things too)...looks being a great factor in attraction for most people.

Now, I admit, I am no great beauty. Most days I don't think I'm all that much to look at, but at other times I see pretty in there too. They say God doesn't make junk/garbage, and while I tend to agree with this there are times when I wonder why I couldn't have been a little more favoured in the beauty department.

I think society has shaped us in the whole beauty thing. Media tries to tell us that we all need to be ultra skinny-thin and magazine model pretty or else we are considered ugly. But, we shouldn't be focusing on looks, they shouldn't be the most important thing in a person. I mean, even Jesus wasn't a magazine model type. How do I know this? Isaiah 53:2 "...He has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him."

There is so much more to a person than his or her appearance. God looks to the inner man/woman, so why don't we? Why do we tend to put more focus on outward looks? Yes, I think that there should be attraction between men and women, but I don' t think it should be the main thing.

So, what do you think about faces? Are they important to you? Is a face what should be judged on to be considered beautiful? Let me know how important or unimportant it is to you...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Stolen From Katie's Blog

Yes, I admit it. I stole this from Katie's blog because I am tired tonight (had a midterm today) and don't know what to post. So, for your quiz taking enjoyment, here it is...

You are Franklin!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Let me know which character you are!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Feel Like Reading A Short Story?

Well, if you click here you will be instantly transported (or a new window will open, not sure which) to my latest short story. I wrote this in about an hour and was feeling rather angry at the time I wrote it. Not my best piece but I hope it can get a message across. This one ranked 28 out of 147 entries for the weekly challenge at FaithWriters.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Trick Or Treat

Well, this is it. Halloween. It is now 8:22pm and all the kids seem to have come and gone. I think in total we got around 20-25 kids at the most. Last year we had a couple shy of 20 if I remember correctly.

I remember as a trick or treater, we would get upwards to 150 kids on halloween. My parents were the type who hated to run out of whatever type of goodies they were handing out. They, my mom in particular, would make sure we had lots so that no kid would get turned away. If we were giving out bags of potato chips, they would get enough to pass out to 150 and then maybe get a bag of those little halloween chocolate bars "just in case". Any left overs and us kids got them, though mom and dad would make sure they got a few too. Besides, with three kids Mom and Dad didn't go without either. Dad generally got all the candy kisses that we didn't like, as well as the black licorice or those good 'n plenty things. Mom wasn't so picky and we generally let her take her pick. Dad got asked if he wanted anything too though, so he didn't just get our rejects.

I remember one year my older brother had gone out with some of his friends and they went to another sub division and one of the treats they got was a can of pop. I was so jealous!! It just wasn't fair!! Of course, I didn't go to that subdivision so I didn't get one...

Another time I almost got accused of soaping the car of one of the neighbours down the street. He was a police man, but I don't know if that was the reason his car got soaped. It just so happened that three or four kids came to their door, got their candy and then soaped the car and took off. As they were running out of the yard I was walking up to the door ringing the bell. The cop came to the door in time to see them running away from the car (I think he had seen what they had done from his window) and then asked me if I was with them. I said no (which was the truth) I didn't even know who they were and told him that. I think I was around 11 that year, and this guy was big...tall and wide and he scared me. Years later I found out he was a pretty nice guy and had babysat for him and his wife a few times.

Another time Ihappened to come to a house at the right time. They wanted to get rid of the rest of their candy because they didn't want to have to go to the door anymore (remember this was in the time when we'd get the 150 or so kids) so between me and my younger brother, we got the rest of the candy. It wasn't a huge stash, but it was a lot and we felt special.

I think one of my earliest halloween memories was when I was probably around 4 years old. That year I went as a princess and my brother as a cat. These costumes (this was the 70's) were your basic cheap plastic kind with the plastic face mask (molded into a face with plastic contored hair at the sides and crown on the top) that had a little tiny hold to breath out of, and eyes cut out that were never quite big enough. I had a plastic cape or smock type "dress" that was big enough to fit over my winter coat (we always had to wear our winter coat under our costumes to keep warm). It was really basic, but plenty good enough for a 4 year old. My brother's costume was the same thing: plastic mask in the shape of a cat's face, and his smock type garment had the outline of a black cat on it. Anyway, I digress. I recall at one house saying "I am a princess, and this is my cat." The people thought it was so cute...I wonder if they gave us extra treats? Somehow I doubt it...but that leads me to my next thought.

Tonight at one of the times I had answered the door, there were two little girls, presumably sisters, and mom and dad (who were just there to help). The older girl looked to be about 4 years old and she was dressed up in a lion costume. She was so adorable! This looked to be the same costume my 2 year old nephew would be wearing tonight, but I know that he would look way cuter (ok, so I'm biased...). Her sister looked to be not much older than 1 and she was in a dolphin costume...waaaayyyyy adorable!! We were handing out those little chocolate bars, and were giving 2 to each kid. I got down on their level and said to the older girl "Wow, what a scary looking lion you are!" She smiled and I gave her the which point she said "trick or treat thank you." Then the little one, the one with huge chubby cheeks you just want to pinch, says some undistinguishable words and melted my heart. I held out the two bars so that she could take them from me as daddy had her little bucket. I told her how sweet she looked and then her mom told her to say thank you. She looked up at me with a big grin and says, "saa soo".

Now, (remember previously when I said I thought the people should have given me extra candy for being so cute?) that made me just want to run over to her and give her more chocolate bars, just because she said was sooo cute!!! However, I didn't. I resisted the urge. Instead, I turned into that horrible monster that appears at anytime of the year, not just halloween; I turned into the "I Am Selfish And I Want Chocolate Monster". Pretty scary when you think about it.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Great Pumpkin

This afternoon my brother came over with his son, my cute adorable nephew (who is 2). They brought with them 2 small pumpkins - the task to degut and carve. This is the first time that D has been exposed to the carving of jack-o-lanterns.

My brother had stopped at Walmart and bought one of those pumpkin carving "kits" which simply consist of a little knife and small shovel type scoop. He said it was only about a dollar, and he figured it wouldn't really work because it was probably cheap since it cost so little. Well, lo and behold, it worked really well!

My brother would loosen the inner goop, put some on the little scoop for D to dump into a bowl. He was a big help and seemed to be enjoying the fun. They did that together, and when it came to the actual carving, D wanted to help too but we explained that only Daddies or Mommies or other adults can do isn't for little boys. Well, while my brother was carving (first he drew the faces on and showed them to D who laughed) D would try to scoop goop (as he was calling it), but there was none left...that didn't stop him though.

When all was said and done, D didn't want to keep the 'hat' on the jack-o-lanterns at all and it took us several tries to convince him to leave them on...eventually he did but only because we distracted him with something else.

Oh, I forgot to mention, D also got a new craft/paint smock to wear while scooping goop. It's just one of those cheap plastic ones with the ties on the side. Well, he was some proud of that smock and wouldn't take it off until after supper time...and even then he didn't really want to take it off.

I took pictures of the process, figuring they would be nice in a scapbook. Don't know if my brother will allow me to post D's picture with the jack-o-lanterns or not...I'll try to see if he'll let me.

Speaking of pictures, I now have a picture of my "famous" pittbullcat. Check the post below to see it...and don't expect much; remember I'm just starting out with my drawing!

Have a Christ filled day!

Pitt Bull Cat

Ok, by popular demand...well, is the promised picutre of my pitt bull cat!

The darkest lines are where the prof went over it to "bring it out". This technique was where we had to scribble a bunch of lines to get a rough idea of what we were drawing, and then gradually adding the bolder lines to give the shape of whatever it was we were drawing.

As I said, I attempted to draw a cat. I had been feeling a little confident that my cats were improving and actually looking like cats. However, little did I know...they were not turning into cats, but pitt bulls! Well, I shouldn't say all of them...but this one did.

Oh well, I guess it's back to the drawing board eh! Get it, drawing board, I draw...Hehehehe! Sorry, my poor attempt at making a joke! Oh well, at least I thought it was

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Drawing Class

I have my drawing class tonight, and I am really enjoying it. I still can't draw all that well, but I can see improvement, and that is the main thing. The professor even told me last week that I have improved. It will just takes more practice to become better, which is common sense.

Last week, we had to do an exercise where we basically scribbled something and kept scribbling until the shape we were doing filled out more. Then we worked at it and added more definite lines a little darker than the scribbles (which are done rather lightly). Then we start adding darker and darker lines until we are getting whatever it was we were attempting to draw. The professor had done an example for us to show us the technique and what he was meaning. He demonstrated by drawing a man's head/face. Our task was to draw something natural, not man-made.

I set out drawing and working away at it, making light scribbles then darker ones. I knew what I was drawing, so I got to the point where I started putting in the darker, more defined lines. Then, I put in the lines that basically outlined and formed the animal. I couldn't get the legs just right, but they weren't overly bad...just looked a little awkward and, well, not quite right.

By this point, the teacher is going around and seeing how we were doing, making comments or demonstrating something at each person's easel. He got to mine and said it was good and seemed a little "excited" when he said it (in a way that was encouraging and positive). I said it wasn't very good because of the legs, so he came back and showed me how I could improve on that part and said that even the legs had improved from when I first drew animals at the beginning because now I had the back leg 'bent' in the right direction.

As he walks away again to check on the next student's drawing, he said "That is a nice pitbull." I looked at him and said, "'s supposed to be a cat." His next word was a simple "oops". I laughed though and wasn't offended.

The scanner isn't working right now (the software might need to be reinstalled or something, not sure off hand), but when it does, I will try to scan my drawing so that you can see what it looks like.

Anyhow, I am off right now to go practice my drawing for tonight so that if I attempt another cat it won't look like a pitbull. I kind of thought maybe I should try drawing a pitbull and see if it ends up looking like a cat...

Monday, October 24, 2005

Matthew McConaughey

Ok, remember when I did that meme thing not too long ago? One of the questions asked was to list some celebrity crushes I have had. One of the name I listed was this guy on the left, Matthew McConaughey (though I had misspelled his last name as McConahey because I wasn't sure how to spell it).

Well, since that time I have had several hits (thanks to site meter) of someone looking for pics of this cutie. So, since I didn't have any before, I thought, just for whomever it is looking for pics, I would post one.

I did a google search and of course found many, many pics. I went with this one from the movie "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" (link can be found here). Doesn't he look cute?!

So, whoever you are, whether you are one person or many, this post is just for you! God bless!

Question of the day to everyone else: What is your thought/opinion on this guy...find him good looking or not? Is his acting good? Let me know what ya think!