I do realize that this is par for the course, however, and like those who have gone on before me, I must do my time and get my foot in the door. I've been leaving business cards lately with the teachers I've filled in for as well as with the secretarys (or principals/vice principals) at last several schools I've been called to. Once I get known, I should get more calls. I was also informed that there are a lot of supply teachers on the list, so I have to wait until my name gets to the top before I can get a call.
I will admit, I have been worrying about this, mostly because I have student loans that I have to start paying next month, as well as some other bills. I calculated that if I could get at least three days each week, I should be OK financially for awhile. Pastor J said that if I can look past the money aspect, I should try to see this as a vacation. I'm trying to do that, but most of the time I tend to focus on the financial aspect. I suppose in a way he is right - I do need a vacation. I haven't really had one for awhile. Since I started school, back in 2002, I've not had much of a break - maybe a few days here and there. I went to school for five years, working on my summer and Christmas breaks, worked in South Korea for a year (and while I had some vacation then, the work was highly stressful), then came back to school for another year and worked during my Christmas vacation. Then, this past summer, as you know, I went to Australia for two months to do half of my teaching internship. So, if you calculate it all out, this is the seventh year since I've really had a vacation. It's a Jubilee year I guess - a time for rest...well, I'm calculating from last September since I began in September 2002.
Anyway, this morning I was thinking about work and possibilities or options. As I was doing my morning devotions, I read today's entry in Our Daily Bread. There is a little poem at the bottom of the page, as well as a little sentence...though I'm not sure what you would call it. If you are familiar with Our Daily Bread, the sentence I am referring to is the one below the line, written in bold.
After praying and reading my Bible chapter, I read the devotion, and it spoke to me. The poem is this:
Tomorrow's plans I do not know,
I only know this minute;
But He will say, "This is the way,
By faith now walk ye in it." --Ryberg
I don't know what tomorrow will hold. I don't know where I'll be teaching, what grade, if I'll have to move away to get a job, if I'll teach in public or private schools, etc. I have to trust that God will lead me in the direction He wants me to go, and I need to have faith. I guess part of my struggle is not knowing if I'm on a path right now or if I'm resting.
The little devotional sentence I refered to earlier is as follows:
Write your plans in pencil
and let God have the eraser.
I guess we tend to make our own plans so often, and not concern ourselves with whether or not they are what God has planned for us. We need to be open to change. What I might think is the path (teaching in a public school for example), might not be the path God wants, and if not, He will "erase" it and set me on course. For all I know, God's plan for me might include me moving to another city or province; He might want me teaching in a private type school; or He might want me to teach a grade I'm not comfortable teaching (middle school).
As the sentence says, I need to write my plans in pencil because they might not be the right ones, or they might need to be changed or altered. If I give God the eraser and let Him be the one in control, then He'll erase what needs to be and write in the correct plans.
Do you struggle with planning your future? Do you write your plans in pencil and let God have the erase?