To Write Or Not To Write...That Is the Question

I guess ever since I started this blog, I have been thinking about writing. Back in my high school days, I used to write. I was working on a novel that, looking back now was written in a very unprofessional-highschool girl talk sort of way. It contained the typical teenage lingo and was written from a teenage viewpoint. The problem was (well at least one of them), that my characters were at least ten years older than I was at the time. How could I write about experiences from a 26 year old perspective, when I was only 16? It was also not researched well, since I didn't know what to research or how to go about doing that. I basically kept to situations that I would not have to research. I have also long since destroyed that awful piece of fiction, as well as other stories that I had worked on.

Not too long ago, I came across three or four typed pages of a story I had started at one time. I laughed so hard at that! The story was crazy, the characters again were in their 20's though I was writing as a teen, they even spoke like teenagers...I tossed that into the trash very quickly, and hope that no one saw it before the trash got taken out!

From time to time, I get in the mood to start writing again. I attempted it about 12 years ago, this time trying my hand at children's stories. I do not recall what I wrote about, except for one short story about a little girl and her cat. Again, I do not think it was very well written because I had not research children's books to see how to write, etc. However, I suppose I can use all of this as a learning experience in what not to do...

One of my online IM chat buddies, Jessica (who describes herself as spastic but sweet) is also a writer. I have read some of her short stories, and she is great! She has had three stories published in an online magazine, and one in a newsletter. She is also working on some other Christian/Biblical type stories. I know she will do well with writing because I think she is gifted in this area! She has encouraged me to write, and she also inspires me as well. She told me that she has seen the writer in me and that I should pursue this. I have had a few others say that I should do this too.

I feel that I want to pursue this, however I lack the confidence I think. I also think that there is some fear at work...fear of rejection (which I know is pretty much a given), fear of failure, fear of what people will think of my work, etc. I guess this is something that the Lord will have to help with. I know some areas in my writing that definately need to be worked on and developed. I just need to be persistant and not quite when I get writer's block.

I sat at work today mulling this thought over. I wondered what I would write, what kind of genre, thinking up some characters and situations. I wondered if this is something I can do, or if it is something I should do. I suppose I can at least try and see where it leads me, see how it works out, do some research on subjects/ideas for future endeavours in this. I feel stories deep down inside that desire to be born, characters waiting to be developed...they say that everyone has a story to tell, but I wonder...do I? Do I have what it takes to be a writer? I guess I will never know unless I try.