Monday, July 18, 2005

Spiritual Attack?

I think I'm under a spiritual attack. Though, it might not be. I have been redoing my spiritual gifts inventory (taking one of those 'quizes' again) to see if they have changed.

Lately I have been feeling as though I have not been equipped with any. I know this is a lie, because all of God's children are given at least one gift to use for the Kingdom of God.

I have been talking with a friend of mine who was hired on to work in the summer student ministry program, and we were discussing the gifts. She said her and the other three students had met with one of the pastors and they were attempting to see where each of them was gifted. The others agreed that she is gifted creatively, one of the others was a natural leader, another is gifted with organization and dealing with I began wondering where I am gifted, if my gifts have changed since I last took the 'quiz' some time back.

My three main gifts, according to this inventory quiz are: 1. Craftsmanship, 2. Pastor/Shepherd, 3. Encouragement. So far they seem to be about the same as last time. Lately I have been having issues with the craftsmanship being a spiritual gift or a talent that God can use. This is something I've heard debates on for both sides of the story, and I am mulling it over as to what I think (and praying about it too). Regardless of the fact, I can still use this gift/talent for the Lord's kingdom, and don't plan on stopping.

I took another 'quiz' online for a comparison, and my gifts showed up very differently. Mind you, it didn't have some of the gifts on the one I took from the church. I can only recall the top two gifts according to the online inventory, and they are 1. Teaching and 2. Mercy.

Anyway, I have been comparing myself with my friend and others in regard to gifts. I know I am not supposed to do this, and that God made us all unique and individual for a reason. This is where I don't know if Satan is sticking his nose where it doesn't belong or not. I feel as though others have gifts that get noticed by others, that is others can observe them and tell where they are gifted, but no one seems to bother telling me if they see where my gifts lie. I don't know if part of me is jealous or if it is pride or a combination. I guess I just want to feel part of the body. I know I am, but at the same time I want a little confirmation from others as to what they see...that is by observation and seeing what I do can tell me that I am gifted in a particular area.

I've been praying to the Lord for confirmation and guidance and wisdom in this. But I don't know if I have received this yet or not. Maybe I am putting too much emphasis on this and not enough emphasis on the any rate it's something that I've been dealing with lately and welcome any prayers about the matter as well.


Suzii said...

I never knew what my "gift" was. Well.. I kinda did... but the Lord is faithful to those who love him. The more you pray the more you will know. The only true test to find out what your gift is... is your heart. What are you good at? Just concentrate on lovin' God... being his friend... you will know. I have taken one of those quizzes before. I don't remember what my results were. But I do know that they probably change with time and knowledge.

Shelley said...

Suzii, thanks so much for your encouragement. I believe that whatever gift(s) the Lord has given us, if we fail to use them we will lose them. I also believe that He equips us with different gifts at differnt times in our lives when we have (as you said) the knowledge or wisdom to put the particular gift(s) to use.

Thanks again for the encouragement!