Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Restlessness

I've been feeling somewhat restless in my life. I don't know what is causing it, but it is there. It has been on my mind off and on recently, and I go in fits and spurts of having this bother me and then not even giving it a second thought.

Lately, I am feeling like I need an area of expertise in my life such as being an "expert" in a particular hobby or craft as well as in a particular area of study. The question is, though, what area or what hobby?

So many people around me seem to be so knowledgeable or wise in something. They have a particular thing that they are so interested in they seem to absorb any and all information on that subject/matter that they can, and they hold on to it like a sponge. I am interested in many things, be it a hobby or something from my studies or a general interest but I am by no means well knowledgeable in any one particular thing.

I guess I feel like I want people to say "Hey, let's go ask Shelley about "such and such", because she knows all about this and she could help us." Maybe that is the same as wanting praise or glory for myself in something, but to tell the truth, it isn't all about that. I just feel as though I need to have at least one area in my life that I am well versed, well knowledged and well read in.

People will say to pick a subject/topic that I am interested in and study up on that. The problem is, I have a wide variety of subjects/topics that I am interested in. I do not know how to narrow it down or pick one. I do not know if this is something I should pray about (though I do realize that I can pray about it and take the matter to God), or if I should just blindly pick something of interest and jump right in. For example, I am quite interested in Biblical archaeology, but I don't know if I am interested in it enough to study any and everything about it. I enjoy seeing pictures of the excavation sites, the articles they find, etc. I am interested in the history of the area during the biblical times and how it is portrayed in the Bible, etc.

Maybe I do not need to be an 'expert' in anything, but just be well knowledged in a variety of topics. I just do not know. I am probably letting this get to me too much, spending to much time worrying and fretting about it that I need be doing. I just do not know.

So, where do I go from here?

2 comments:

MaY said...

I admire your courage to come out and admit you want to be an "expert" on something. I am actually happy that you are finally heading in that direction. Although, if I may be allowed to say, I believe you are already an expert in whatever you are doing now, and that is spreading your life's experiences and being able to share your knowledge about spirituality and about God. That is the gift you have Shelley. Everytime I read your blog, I am enlightened. Whether it be about just your day or about something else. About God. Oh yes, you do inspire me and remind me of how to become a better christian. That is your expertise. :-) Did you know that? :-D

Shelley said...

Wow May...thanks so much for sharing that with me. I had no idea...I just hope that I don't lead anyone astray...