The Buzzing of the Bees in the Sycamore Trees

Ok, so we don't have any sycamore trees, but we definitely have the bees!

The rhododendron is out...well half of it, because the other half is pretty much dead. These blossoms attract several bees and when I was out taking some photos of them, I attempted to photograph the bees. I didn't have my zoom lens on, so I didn't want to get too close and end up getting stung.

Yesterday was beautiful outside, and in the early morning I had one of the living room windows open while I was sitting and reading my Bible. I could hear loud buzzing, and more than a few times I had to check to make sure the screen was on the window - I didn't want any bees flying into the living room! Thankfully the screen was on, so I was safe.

As I sat reading, the buzzing continued. A bee had found its way in between the open window and the screen, and was attempting to get out. I assume that it was seeing what was on the other side of the glass and thought it could get through it to get to its destination. The simple solution would have been for the bee to move three or four more inches to the right and it would have been free (eventually it found its way to freedom), however, it didn't do that; it kept attempting to fly through the glass.

So what does this have to do with anything, you ask? Well, I as I was sitting and thinking (after reading my Bible chapter), about how determined and persistent the bee was in trying to find its escape. No matter how many times it met with failure at flying through the glass, it kept trying - it didn't give up. This made me think of persevering in my walk - to not give up, but to keep seeking, and being persistent in following the Lord, no matter how many times I may fail.

I might not get what God has promised to me today, and maybe not tomorrow, but I can't just give up because things aren't going my way. If I give up, if I stop pursing, then I definitely won't receive what God wants to give me.

God wants to give us His blessings, but if we don't persevere through the trials, if we aren't persistent in our walk, how can we receive them? The book of Hebrews tells us this:

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persever so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. (Hebrews 10:35-36)

No matter how difficult things may seem or may get, we need to remember the importance of persevering until the end. Our ultimate reward will come at the end, when we will have eternal life with Jesus Christ, but along the way, God does give us blessings. If we give up, we won't receive what He wants to give us. If we don't accept Christ as our Lord and Saviour, we won't receive eternal life with Him.

Let me encourage you (and myself) to persever, to be persistent in our walks, to not give up along the way. Let's be like the bee that, no matter how hard he tried and failed, he did not give up - he was persistant in finding his way, and eventually he succeeded and received his reward (freedom).

Don't give up my friend, be persistant and persever, no matter what you may be facing.

God Has A Plan

I am definitely not in a place I would have thought or expected I would be when I was a teenager. I had wanted to be a best selling author, married by 25 to an awesome man, have a two to four kids, have my own house, making a good living...you  name it. I had it all planned out.

But, here I sit and none of those dreams have been realized. None. I haven't been published because I haven't even finished any of the novels I have worked on since then. Ok, well, that's not entirely true...I did get a very short story published in an anthology (I don't think it was widely sold, and I most certainly didn't get paid for it...I had hoped it would give me exposure though). I'm not married, have no kids, and I feel like my time for that is running out quickly. I live in a house, but it's not mine - it's my mom's. Yes, I admit it, I am 41 years old and back to living with my mom. That's because I quit my job eight years ago to go back to school to get my B.A. and eventually my B.Ed. So, I'm not in any position to be out on my own.  Don't get me wrong, I've very thankful I have a place to live, food to eat, etc.

I've been blaming God for things not going as I had planned; I wonder why He's not allowed me a husband, or children, or a job (yes, I do have somewhat of a job - I supply teach, but I don't get a lot of work). Even though I feel like such a loser because of my current situation, deep down I know God has a plan. I have no idea what that plan is, but He does have one.

My prayer is that I would put my focus more on God and pleasing Him, instead of focusing on me and what I want. This is difficult for me (as I'm sure it is for anyone). I see everyone around me getting married, having babies (and this situation is for those in Christian relationships and those not in Christian relationships). It hurts me to the core. All I've ever wanted since I was little was to be married and have kids - and that hasn't happened and doesn't look like it is going to happen any time soon.

I know it's going to be hard to do, but I'm going to try to put my focus on God, on following Him, obeying Him, being more like Jesus than I have been lately. I certainly haven't been feeling the passion I once had, so I'm also praying that the Lord will reignite the passion and flame for being obedient, following Him, being more like Jesus, etc.

God has a plan for me and my life, but I need to seek Him and follow Him in order to fulfil it. And, in all honesty, I do hope this plan includes a husband and children...and that I get those soon (hey, I'm human and still have my desires, and I would be lying if I didn't say that I won't still hope and pray for those things).

Pete's Awesome Article

Pete Wilson wrote this awesome article. I think it's something that I needed to read in my seemingly ongoing walk. Check it out, and let me know what you think in the comment section.

Tuesday

I mentioned in the previous post about my back bothering me lately. Since Sunday it hasn't been quite as bad, though I'm not sure why. I'm glad it's feeling better, however, I am supposed to go for an x-ray on my back, and I would rather have that done when my back is hurting - that way it might show something that's causing the pain (though the doctor didn't think anything would show up).

A friend of mine called me Sunday night and asked if I was working on Monday. I said no, and she booked me to fill in for her. She also ended up calling me and booking me to fill in again for her today. This was the first time that I've taught high school. I must say I enjoyed it, and found these kids to be a lot better attitude and behaviour wise than the middle school kids I've been teaching. Even though I enjoyed these classes, I think I would still teach the younger elementary grades.  I'm also working tomorrow, and I'm scheduled to work Friday morning as well. This has been a great week for work since I haven't been getting much lately. So, because of the work, I won't be able to get the x-ray done again just yet. If I don't work on Thursday, I'll be going then. Otherwise, I won't be able to go until next week (our car is going in for a bit of work on Friday afternoon, so I can't go then either).

Not much else for news to tell. I'm hopefully going to be going running tomorrow night with the group at the Running Room tomorrow evening. We are scheduled to run 3 mins/walk 1 min tomorrow night (according to the e-mail they sent out to us), and the next night aim for 4/1. I'm not up that far yet, but I'll do what I can and will have to motivate and push myself to do more running on my own time to help myself to be able to keep up to the others as much as possible.

Tonight I've got some stuff running through my mind, and I've feeling a little down. I hope I can get it out before bed so that I can get some sleep tonight and not be tired at work tomorrow. I think part of what is bothering me is the way I look. I want to improve myself - lose weight and get healthy (and also exercise every day). I guess I haven't been seeing the results that I would like, and it's discouraging. However, I need to remember that I'm older now and it's going to take more effort. I also need to remember that it's good to lose it slowly, and that way it's more apt to stay off. However, I'm not feeling very positive about this at this time. I have to get my mind out of the negative thinking - otherwise I'm going to sabotage myself if I don't.

Well, not much else to say, so I'll head off for now. God bless!

Time For An Update

Lately I've been trying to better myself. About three or four weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers to try to lose some weight. I was successful with this program in the past, and I know it works. However, what I hadn't planned on was how it is more difficult after reaching a certain age. My first week I only lost 3.something pounds, the second week I lost a little over a pound (making the total weight lost at that point, 4.8 pounds). It's not too bad of a weight loss, however, I must admit that I was expecting a little more - especially the first week. Last week, I didn't lose anying; I didn't gain anything either - just stayed the same. I guess I could look on the positive side that it wasn't a weight gain that week. I go again on Monday for my weigh-in, and I'm hoping I lost a couple of pounds.

I also joined the Running Room. I want to learn to run, and if I do it on my own, I just don't have the motivation or the perseverance. I joined a the Learn to Run clinic and I have enjoyed it pretty much. I missed the first couple of days of the clinic since I joined the Saturday after it started.  They "meet" on Sunday mornings, but I've already told them I won't be going to that because I go to church (that is my priority on Sundays). They also meet Wednesday evenings and Thursday evenings. The Thursday class is also the night they hold their clinics. The goal of this clinic is that by the end of the clinic (10 weeks), we should able to run 20 minutes without stopping.

This past week I wasn't able to go because I was very sick on Wednesday (thanks to a migraine that made me throw up 7-8 times!), and Thursday I hadn't gotten myself feeling quite as well as I would have liked.

One thing I've figured out (I must not be as smart as I thought I was, lol) the other day is that I need to go running on my own as well as going to the clinics. You see, we started out running 1 minute and walking 2 minute. The next night we did 1 minute walking and 1 minute running. The following week was supposed to be running 2 minutes and walking 1. This past week (when I couldn't go), they did running 3 minutes and walking 1. I am definitely NOT up to that...yet.

Today I decided to go out and do a little running on my own in one of the local parks near my house.  Rather than time myself, I decided to run as long as I could and then walk a bit to catch my breath and run some more. I took my ipod with me, and have made myself a goal of aiming (short-term) to be able to run without stopping for the duration of one of the songs (4-5 minutes long). I'm not there yet, but if I keep at it and run more often, I know I will get there! I can't wait until I am able to run 20 minutes without stopping to walk!

In other news, my back has been bothering me again quite a bit for awhile now. Wednesday (same day I had the migraine and was throwing up), I went to the doctor and had it confirmed that it is my sciatic nerve that is causing the problems. The doctor told me to keep taking Advil or Robaxacet to help with the pain/stiffness and he was going to send me for an x-ray as well. The Advil and Robaxacet don't do anything to help, and I will be going to for the x-ray on Monday. He said if the meds don't help and the x-ray doesn't show anything he would send me for an MRI. Sometimes the only thing that helps/works is surgery. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, but if it does, then so be it.

Well, that's about all the news I have. Hopefully it won't take so long for me to update this ol' blog the next time!

Blessings!

The Start of A New Week

It's Monday, the beginning of a new week (well, technically yesterday was the beginning, but we always seem to classify it as being the end) filled with lots of promise. 

I am feeling somewhat better since my last post; at least the last couple of days have been not too bad. I don't know if my situations have changed, but regardless, I haven't felt as down and out of sorts since probably Thursday or Friday. I worked Friday morning, so that was a help at getting my mind off things. I've been praying (though probably not as much as I should), and realizing I'm focusing so much on me lately; I've been quite selfish and self-centered.

I guess it's not really about me anyway. I should be focused on others - praying for them, helping them, etc. and not worrying about what I want, or what I desire (even if it's been the strongest desires I've had since I was a child). It's not about me. That hurts.  But, we are to be humble and put others first and ourselves last.

I've been thinking lately about putting others first, about being more obedient to God and His commands, and it makes me wonder - if I do this, then will I get my desires? But, I suppose, that makes me selfish again. I should be doing for God and His people to further the Kingdom of God, to be more like Jesus, and not worry about whether or not I my prayers and desires will come true because I am obedient. It doesn't work that way. I need to pick up my cross and carry it. I need to die to self. I need God's strength, because I sure can't do it on my own! That's such a hard lesson to learn, especially in a "self-sufficient" and "I am weak if I ask for help" society.

So, that's where I am today. I'm trying to get back in touch with God, to "fix" my relationship with Jesus, to focus on others and not myself, and to not let fear have control over me.

Revelation?

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately - sometimes too much, and there has also been a fierce spiritual battle going on as well. The last several weeks have definitely not been fun!

I don't want to go into all the details, as I'm not comfortable in sharing all of this in Cyberland. I will say that what I've been going through has left me feeling mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained. It also doesn't help that last week I didn't sleep well at all, and coupled with working all last week and two or three days the previous week, I've felt physically tired as well. The whole situation is long and complicated, and as I said, I am not comfortable talking about it in depth.

I've been angry at God lately, too, and having a grand ol' pity party I guess. Part of my spiritual battle (or perhaps the entire thing) has resulted in the angry feelings and blaming God on the lack of results from years of prayer over a couple of areas in my life. It definitely hasn't been a joyride, let me tell you!

Last night, I went to small group and we ended up discussing Joshua 24:14. We talked about what gods were, and Pastor J (who is in our small group) said that gods are something you fear (it holds power over you) and serve (gods demand your servitude). He continued to say that if you try to remove the god from your life (whatever the god may be), it will cause a great deal of distress when you remove it.  For example, if your god is the computer/internet, and you try to stay off the computer and you struggle to do so, then that is a god to you.  There is a constant struggle between us as humans and the gods we have in our lives.

As I was sitting in small group and listening to what Pastor J was saying (and others who were asking questions, etc.), I felt the Lord telling me that the issues I mentioned above have become gods to me. There is a great deal of fear for me with regard to the issues I mentioned previously (I am not in any kind of danger or anything like that). I felt the Lord telling me I need to let go of these issues and trust Him. I need to not worry about what the future holds - God is in control.

So, now I need to get rid of the gods that have been holding their power over me. It's going to be hard, but I know that the Lord will be with me through this difficult journey.

I'm A Failure

I admit it. I'm a failure. I've tried many different things and found that I have failed at them. In school, I failed a few tests. I've failed at relationships. I've failed at jobs. I've failed at a number of things I've tried to do.

Each time I fail at something, I wind up being overly critical of myself and feel worthless and no good. I tend to focus on the negative aspect of failure and tell myself how lousy I am - "You're a failure. You can't do anything right. You're a loser!"  Truth be told, I think the majority of us (if not all) tend to beat ourselves up and feel terrible when we fail at something. But we don't have to be like that.

The thing is, failure can be good - despite what we might think.  It is through our failures and the mistakes we make in life that help us to grow. We gain new experiences and insights into who we are as people.  I was terrible at math when I was in school; it was definitely a subject I struggled with. I am not a math person at all. When I failed on a math test (to be honest, there were more near failures on these tests, but I did fail some), it taught me that this was a subject I couldn't do on my own. I just simply couldn't understand the concepts. If I wanted to get better, I would have to get extra help (which I eventually did) - even if I felt like a loser for having to do this.  Really though, asking for extra help does not make you a loser, despite what you think at 12 or 13 years old! I eventually humbled myself and asked for extra help, got it, and did better on my tests.

When we fail, and if we are honest with ourselves we know that we will fail at something in our lives (we are human afterall, and we aren't perfect), we have two choices to make:

1. Let the failure define us

2. Let the failure drive us

If we let failure define us, then we will be more apt to focus on the negative aspects like I mention at the beginning of the post - we will feel useless or worthless, or feel as though we can't do anything. Negative thoughts and feelings about failure will cause us to be afraid to try something new for fear that we won't be able to do it. These types of thoughts and feelings can also cause us to feel as though no one would like us because we aren't perfect - I mean, really, who wants to be with someone who fails at whatever he/she tries? (note the sarcasm used here).  But guess what, God still loves us - even when we fail!

Allowing our failure to drive us puts a positive spin on these types of situations.  "So what if I fail" should be said as a statement. Spoken this way, our failures will drive us rather than define us.  So what if I failed my test. I now know that I need to study harder.  So what if I didn't make the sports team. I am going to practice harder everyday and polish my moves; that way I can try out again next year and have a better chance of getting on the team. So what if I failed at drawing. I've since discovered that I am a much better sculpter. (The above are just examples, and not necessarily drawn from my own life.)

Satan likes to encourage us to let our failures define us. He wants us to focus on those so that we won't try or do anything new for the Kingdom of the Lord. He wants us to remember and feel like a failure because we can't cook very well. Letting that failure define us might cause us to not want to reach out to others and invite them to our homes for fellowship. He wants us to focus on what we can't do, or what we are afraid to do for fear of not being successful.  If we take the same situation and let that failure define us, we might think something like, "So what if I can't cook. I can still invite people over to my home for fellowship - I can host a Bible study or just have people over to watch the game on TV."

The point of this post is that we all fail at something (or many things); we aren't perfect. God can still use a "failures". We might have done something terrible in the past, or had something awful happen to our family, but God can still use it for His Kingdom. Our past experiences help us to reach out and help others who may be going through the same or similar experience now.  For example, if a woman has had a miscarriage in the past, she is better equipped to help another woman having the same experience than would a woman who has not had a miscarriage. Someone who has struggled through addiction in his past is better abled at helping someone currently struggling through an addiction. God can, and does, use our past failures and experiences for good.

From the beginning of time, humans have failed. That's why God sent his only Son to die for us and to save us.

Do you let your failures define you or drive you? How can you use your failures for the Lord? What do you think the final paragraph means?

Enjoy A Laugh

I posted this on my blog way back in 2005, and thought I'd repost it again.  I've been trying to come up with something good to post, and sadly it's not working out.  So, I thought I'd post something light and hope to share a little laugh with you all.


Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"



A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"


Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem. They give him $50."


The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song. They give him $100."


The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"


An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.


A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."


At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."


Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.
 
Know any cute jokes? Feel free to put them in the comments section (they don't have to be church jokes, but remember to keep them clean and G-rated)

Prayer Request

I am a supply teacher.  I have my teaching license and am qualified to teach.  I just don't have the permanent job yet.  It's something every new teacher has to go through.  I'm working on getting my foot in the door, and when I visit a school, I leave a business card with my info on it at the office, and with the teacher I fill in for.  I hope that by doing this I will get more calls.


The month of January was difficult for me.  I only had about three days in total for the month; it's kind of difficult to pay the bills with so little work.  I'll admit I felt somewhat depressed about it, and could sense a spiritual battle going on as well.  Definitely not fun.


Since joining a small group/Bible study, I get asked every week if I've been getting any work.  It's nice when I can say that I have been, but it makes me feel like a "loser" when I don't get any - especially with a full-time teacher and another supply teacher (who has been getting a lot of work) in the group.


Last week we were asked to share a piece of good news and bad/not so good news with the group (if we wanted to).  I told them that, at that point, I had worked that day and had been booked to work Thursday as well (I ended up working this past Friday, too).  Not only did I have a couple days of work that week, but I had also been booked for this coming entire week!  That's the first time I've been booked for an entire week, and a week in advance!  The group was happy for me, because it has been an ongoing prayer request of mine - to get more work, especially since student loans are coming due soon.  In that sense, prayers have been answered, but this will be an ongoing prayer request until I can get a permanent classroom of my own (that is also a prayer request I have).


I'm looking forward to the full week of work.  I'll admit the pay cheque is going to be nice.  I've been to this particular school a couple of times already, and the only thing that I don't look forward to is the fact it is a middle school.  I really don't like working with this age group; my preferred group would be from kindergarten to grade three as being ideal for me.  However, at this point in time, I can't be too choosey.


So, with this post, I am asking for prayers for this coming week that I can do a great job, that the kids are good and listen to me, that they don't give me too hard of a time, and that I don't lose my marbles!  If you can remember to pray every day, I'd appreciate it.  If you can only pray once, I'd appreciate that too.  I appreciate any and all prayer I get.

Linking A Great Post By Pete Wilson

I recently, as in a few moments ago, read Pete Wilson's latest blog entry.  It's definitely good food for thought, and I thought I would share the link with everyone.  Stop by his blog for a read.

Write Your Plans In Pencil

As anyone who has been reading my blog (though I fear there aren't many out there) should know, I am now a teacher.  I got my teaching license this past November and that same month I began to do some supply work.  Sadly, I haven't had a whole lot of calls - maybe one to one and a half days per week.  Some weeks I've had no calls.

I do realize that this is par for the course, however, and like those who have gone on before me, I must do my time and get my foot in the door.  I've been leaving business cards lately with the teachers I've filled in for as well as with the secretarys (or principals/vice principals) at last several schools I've been called to.  Once I get known, I should get more calls.  I was also informed that there are a lot of supply teachers on the list, so I have to wait until my name gets to the top before I can get a call.

I will admit, I have been worrying about this, mostly because I have student loans that I have to start paying next month, as well as some other bills.  I calculated that if I could get at least three days each week, I should be OK financially for awhile.  Pastor J said that if I can look past the money aspect, I should try to see this as a vacation.  I'm trying to do that, but most of the time I tend to focus on the financial aspect.  I suppose in a way he is right - I do need a vacation.  I haven't really had one for awhile.  Since I started school, back in 2002, I've not had much of a break - maybe a few days here and there.  I went to school for five years, working on my summer and Christmas breaks, worked in South Korea for a year (and while I had some vacation then, the work was highly stressful), then came back to school for another year and worked during my Christmas vacation.  Then, this past summer, as you know, I went to Australia for two months to do half of my teaching internship.  So, if you calculate it all out, this is the seventh year since I've really had a vacation.  It's a Jubilee year I guess - a time for rest...well, I'm calculating from last September since I began in September 2002.

Anyway, this morning I was thinking about work and possibilities or options.  As I was doing my morning devotions, I read today's entry in Our Daily Bread.  There is a little poem at the bottom of the page, as well as a little sentence...though I'm not sure what you would call it.  If you are familiar with Our Daily Bread, the sentence I am referring to is the one below the line, written in bold.

After praying and reading my Bible chapter, I read the devotion, and it spoke to me.  The poem is this:

Tomorrow's plans I do not know,

I only know this minute;

But He will say, "This is the way,

By faith now walk ye in it." --Ryberg

I don't know what tomorrow will hold.  I don't know where I'll be teaching, what grade, if I'll have to move away to get a job, if I'll teach in public or private schools, etc.  I have to trust that God will lead me in the direction He wants me to go, and I need to have faith.  I guess part of my struggle is not knowing if I'm on a path right now or if I'm resting. 

The little devotional sentence I refered to earlier is as follows:

Write your plans in pencil

and let God have the eraser.

I guess we tend to make our own plans so often, and not concern ourselves with whether or not they are what God has planned for us.  We need to be open to change.  What I might think is the path (teaching in a public school for example), might not be the path God wants, and if not, He will "erase" it and set me on course.  For all I know, God's plan for me might include me moving to another city or province; He might want me teaching in a private type school; or He might want me to teach a grade I'm not comfortable teaching (middle school). 

As the sentence says, I need to write my plans in pencil because they might not be the right ones, or they might need to be changed or altered.  If I give God the eraser and let Him be the one in control, then He'll erase what needs to be and write in the correct plans. 

Do you struggle with planning your future? Do you write your plans in pencil and let God have the erase?

Passing On The Torch

For the last few months, the Olympic torch has been travelling across Canada as it makes its way to British Columbia for the 2010 Winter Olympics. Torch bearers all across the country have carried the torch for a certain distance, and when they reach the end, they pass the torch on to the next person to continue carrying on the task.

It's like that for Christians as well, only we call it discipleship.  A disciple is a follower of a person, and in Christianity, that person is Jesus Christ.  It follows then, that Jesus was a disciple maker.  Each of the 12 He handpicked, in turn, also became disciple makers.  In order to become a disciple maker, we need to first be a disciple.  We can see this in other ways in our lives as well: parent/children relationships, coach/players relationships, teacher/students relationships, and the list goes on.  These disciple makers teach their disciples how to do what they need to do to fulfill certain roles.  The disciple maker role in the previous examples would be the parent, coach, and teacher; the "disciples" would be children, players, and students. 

In my small group/Bible study this week, we finished discussing 1 Kings 19.  The verses we looked at were from 15 to 21, which talked about Elijah passing on the torch (so to speak) to Elisha.  Elijah, the disciple maker, anointed Elisha, the disciple, to follow in his footsteps.  Elisha would be anointed as prophet to carry on in Elijah's place (vs. 16).

Normally, when the Bible is talking about anointing, oil would be used; however, in this case, Elijah used his mantle, or cloak, as a means to anoint Elisha (vs. 19).  By anointing, Elijah is giving authority to his successor.  This does not mean that Elijah lost his authority, though.  He was just elevated to another level.

By becoming Elijah's disciple, Elisha would be spending time with him, helping Elijah, or maybe doing things for the man (maybe he prepared Elijah's meals, for example).  We don't know at this point exactly what Elisha was doing, but we do know that he followed Elijah and became his disciple. He would, afterall, replace Elijah as prophet.

The thing about being a disciple, is that it doesn't always look as though we are learning.  A disciple spends time with his/her teacher, regardless of what is being done.  In other words, it doesn't matter what you are doing.  Remember the movie, The Karate Kid?  There is a scene from it where the teacher has the student waxing his car (the "wax on, wax off" line is famous).  The student thinks he is only waxing the car and doesn't understand that what the teacher is doing is preparing him.

When we are being discipled, it might not look like we are learning anything, but we are actually learning to be a disciple maker ourselves.  We see this in the New Testament with Jesus and his 12 disciples.  They spent time with their Disciple Maker, and by being with Him and doing what He asked, these men learned how to be disciple makers.  Jesus commissioned them to go into the world and make disciples.  However, if these men hadn't spent time with Jesus to learn how to make disciples, they probably wouldn't have succeeded in their commission.

It is like that with us today.  We might be a Sunday school teacher, an elder or deacon, a mentor to a youth - there are any number of leadership roles in the church.  In order for us to pass on the torch, we need to have our own disciples to teach so there will be someone to carry on the role, someone who knows what to do and how to do it.

Pastor J left us with two "questions with regard to being disciple makers, and I pose them to you as well.  Let me know in the comments section.

1. Who are you learning from? If you are not learning from someone currently, who do you seek to be with (someone you don't need to make an appointment to see)?

2.  Who are you going to "throw your cloak" over and let them be with you?  In other words, who are you going to disciple?

If you are unsure of the answers to the above, be sure to pray and ask God to reveal people for you to disciple, or to learn from.

Twenty One Days In - It's All About Him

I've been meaning to update this blog since my last post on January 1st.  However, it seemed like every time I sat down to write something somewhat meaningful, I couldn't find the words.  The other day, I even began a post about something inspiring I had read; but the words just didn't want to flow.  Hopefully, today's post will come without difficulty, and sound somewhat decent.

Monday nights I have Bible study.  I joined this group a couple of months ago, and I must say that I do enjoy going; the people in attendance are awesome.  At some point in December, we began a study on Elijah but had to stop after a couple of weeks due to the Christmas season.  This past Monday was our second meeting since we started back up after Christmas/New Years, so we continued discussing Elijah.

We focused on 1 Kings 19 this week.  Pastor J is in my Bible study group, and is leading this discussion.  He began by asking us to recall what James 5:16 said (...The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.), and then asked someone to read verse 17: "Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months."

The focus (in our study that is) of James 5:17 was placed on the first part: Elijah was a man with a nature like ours.  It seems difficult to imagine Elijah being like us!  Afterall, in 1 Kings 18 we read that Elijah called down fire from heaven during the competition with the prophets of Baal.  Have we ever done an act such as this?  More than likely, not.  So, how then was Elijah like us?

In 1 Kings 19, we read that Jezebel sent an oath to Elijah stating that she was giving him one day and then she was going to kill him, just as he had killed her prophets.  Elijah became afraid and fled quite a distance away, and came to rest under a Juniper tree (some versions say a broom tree) where an angel visited him and gave him food and water, and told him to rest.  From there Elijah journied up Mount Horeb (Mount Sinai) were God visited him and asked him what he was doing there.

Elijah told God that he had been zealous for Him, and after all he (Elijah) had done, his life was in danger - that he was going to be killed.  God then told him to go and stand on the mountain while He passed by.  There was a great and strong wind, strong enough to cause the rocks to break off; there was an earthquake, and then a fire.  The Lord was in none of these.  After the fire, there was a gentle blowing.  It was when Elijah heard the gentle blowing that he covered his face and went to the entrance of the cave he had been in.

God asked Elijah a second time what he was doing there.  Elijah repeated what he had said to God the first time.  It was then that God gave a set of instructions for Elijah, which he then set out to follow.

Pastor J asked us why God had asked Elijah the same question twice.  One of the ladies replied that Elijah got the answer wrong the first time (and ultimately the second as well since it was the same answer).  Pastor J agreed with this and said that far too often, we tend to put the focus on us (I did this or that for the Lord, God bless me, Lord give me that, etc.) and we don't put our focus on what God might have in store for us. 

So, back to the statement of Elijah being just like us...there are times when we take our eyes off the Lord, there are times we put the focus on ourselves, we get afraid, and we run and hide like Elijah did.  When Elijah got the message that Jezebel was going to kill him, Elijah took his eyes off the Lord and focused on himself.  His reply to God's question of "What are you doing here?" was to answer with a selfish reply, making the answer about him (Elijah).  However, Pastor J stated that when we make the answer about us, God reminds us that it's not - it's about Him.  And that's what God was doing with Elijah - reminding him that it's not all about him (Elijah).

In my own walk, I find I am doing this very same thing a great deal lately.  I am putting the focus on me, worrying about my job (not getting much work), my personal life, my dreams and desires.  I'm not making it about God, but about me.  I need to listen for the gentle blowing, for God's voice, and find out what He wants.  Afterall, it is all about Him.

How do you make it about God and not about yourself?  What are some things you do or don't do to put the focus on God and take it off yourself?

Happy New Year!

A brand new year is upon us.  It's hard to believe that it's 2010 already!  Where has the time gone?

Over the past few days, I've been thinking about resolutions.  You know, the promises we make at the beginning of a new year of the things we want to change or accomplish?  Well, I'm not overly keen on making new years resolutions.  The reason is because I never stick with them.  Yup, I'm one of those people.  To be fair, I do work at things for awhile and then for whatever reason (usually lack of motivation or forgetfulness), I stop.

I do have some goals that I want to accomplish this coming year, though.  So, I guess in a way, I will be setting some resolutions - no matter how I look at it.  Here is a list of what I hope to accomplish this year:

1.  Lose weight.  This is something I've been meaning to do for awhile now, but I want to lose a lot of weight by the summer.  I haven't set a goal of how many pounds yet, but that will be soon.  I want to feel and look healthy this year.

2.  Exercise.  That dreaded eight letter word that so many people dislike, including me.  However, since I want to become healthier (and lose weight), exercise is a key factor in accomplishing this.  I don't want to overdo things, so I will start of slowly.  I have an eliptical machine and will use that for the bulk of my winter exercise regime.  I also have a couple of yoga DVDs (one is for weight loss and the other is for people who are unflexible - basically to help get you more capable of doing yoga, lol) which I plan to use as well.  Once the weather gets better, and the days aren't too cold, I will add walking to the plan.

3.  Jogging.  I hear so many stories of how people ruin their knees from jogging, but I want to be able to jog long distances without fear of collapsing after 30 seconds.  I think the longest I can jog for is about a minute, and then I need to stop and walk.  That's not long, I know, but my goal is to increase that.  However, because I'm not fond of running/jogging/walking on ice and falling and breaking a leg (or worse), this will probably only start in the spring after the ice and snow have melted enough.

4.  Eat healthier.  Again, this ties in with the first goal.  I want to eat better foods - less of the fast food/junk food.  Included with this, would be to decrease my portion sizes. 

5.  Drink water.  I don't get nearly enough water consumption.  I drink lots of pop, and I know that's not good.  So, included in this goal is to wean out the pop so that I drink very little of it, and increase the amount of water I drink per day.

6.  Write a novel.  This is something I've been working at on and off for several years.  This year I want to focus on getting it written.  I will be tracking the progress for this over on my writing blog, Ink Scrawls.

7.  Grow in my walk with the Lord.  I want to get closer to God, to have a great relationship with Him and just do more for Him.

So, there you have it.  Some of my goals for the upcoming year.  I have a lot of changes for myself in store, and I need to keep motivated to accomplish things.  I also need accountability so I'll be working at that as well.  I've done these things before, in the past, and I know I can do them again.  But, it's going to take time and I need to remember that it's a long, slow process and none of these things will be accomplished overnight.

What are your goals/new year's resolutions for 2010?  Let me know in the comment section.

Three Ways To Draw Closer To The Lord

In keeping with some of the ways I've been reading about for improving a blog, I've decided to to try one out this morning - the "how to" type of post...



There are many ways we can draw closer to the Lord, but I am going to discuss three of the most common ways.  As you know, by reading previous posts, I had/have been going through a dry spell where I seemed to have strayed of my path with the Lord.  Oh, I still believed and all - didn't lose my faith - but I just couldn't seem to draw close to Him.  These are ways I am using to get back on track and back on the path of my walk with the Lord.


Read the Bible:   The Bible is God's Word.  We read in John 1:1, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  This is, of course, referring to Jesus.  How do I know this?  In verse 14, we read, "And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us."


As Christians, the Bible is very important to us; it is about Jesus (and it is Jesus), and it is a way to help guide us and our walk.  God can still speak to us through His Word; therefore, we need to immerse ourselves in the Bible, and we need to set aside time every day to read it. 

While I was struggling in my walk, I had talked with my pastor and he told me that it's OK to just sit and read it for the sake of reading.  Every time we read, it doesn't have to be a time to study the Bible; sometimes we need to get back on track and just simply reading a chapter or two (or more) is enough to jump start our walk again.  This worked for me.  It has been over two months since I got back into reading my Bible every day, and may have only missed a reading once.

Studying the bible is important, but there are times when we find that we can't study it.  At those times, we need to remember to not stop reading, to not get away from His Word.  At those times, simply reading the Bible is OK.  God can still speak to us through the Bible, even if we are just reading it.


Meditate:   I am not talking about the Eastern tradition of meditating whereby one sits with legs crossed in the lotus position, hands turned upright, eyes closed, and saying "ohm" over and over.  No, what I am referring to is simply thinking about what you have read.  Taking our Bible reading a step further, we should meditate on the passages that speak to us, and think how it applies to our lives. 

After reading your chapter(s) take some time to think over what you have read.  How does what you have read speak to you?  If you have been reading about repenting, is there anything you need to repent of?  If you've been reading the Psalms where David is praising God about something, do you need to offer praise to God?  

Pray:   Prayer is key in a Christian's life.  It's how we communicate with God.  The different types of prayers is a whole other post, which I won't get into here.  I just simply want to state that our God is a God with whom we can communicate.  We can lay before Him our cares and concerns, our praises and thanks, and anything else in our hearts.

Prayer is communicating - it's talking with God.  Don't worry if your prayers don't sound fancy; that's not what counts.  What counts is that you talk to the Lord.  Even though He knows everything, He still wants us to talk to Him and tell Him what we desire, what is troubling us, etc.

As with communicating to our family, friends, co-workers, and everyone, during prayer, we need to also listen.  If we pray to God and simply do all the talking, and don't offer Him a chance to speak to us, it is like calling your best friend and spewing out all your news and information without giving him/her a chance to respond, and then hanging up.  That's not communicating.  Communicating is when all parties involved have a chance to speak.

There you have it - three little ways that can help you draw closer to God.  By reading our Bibles, meditating on the Word, and praying, we can, and will, draw closer to the Lord.  It is important to practice these things daily.  It might take a little time to get to a point where we do things things on a daily basis, but don't be discouraged if you miss a day or two or more.  Just start over and keep at it.  And remember, if you are trying to draw closer to the Lord, the enemy will do what he can to prevent that from happening - be on your guard, and make sure to put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18).

How do you draw closer to the Lord?  Is Bible reading, meditation, and prayer a daily part of your life?  Can you list other ways of drawing closer to the Lord?

A Little Update

Yesterday, Sunday, was our church's Sunday school concert.  It isn't just for the little kids who attend Sunday school, but for the adults as well.  While I thought this year's concert was OK, it wasn't as good as other years. Most of the concert involved singing - the kids up to grade five all sang some songs together, but each class had their own songs as well.  The middle school kids did a bit of a play and sang a song, and the high school kids also did a little play and sang a song.  For both of those, they had the audience sing as well.  There was a husband and wife team who did a "debate" on the Christmas Jesus vs. the Easter Jesus, and three other adult classes performed little skits.

Unfortunately, throughout the entire evening, I was suffering from a headache which turned into a full blown migraine by the time I got home.  Thankfully, I wasn't sick with it - but I nearly was once (I was at home at the time).

Today I was a little out of it.  I find the day after I suffer a migrain I am tired (as though I didn't get enough rest, even though I did) and just not really myself.  Therefore, today wasn't productive at all.  I did go and mail some Christmas cards for my mom, and later on I went and got something for supper.  Other than that I didn't do anything.  I didn't have a migraine, but for most of the day it felt like there was one waiting in the wings to spring forth.  Thankfully that didn't happen.

Last week, I got no calls at all to do any supply teaching.  I also didn't get any calls today, and so far have none for tomorrow.  I was talking (well, messaging on Facebook) with one of the girls who went to Australia when I did, and she said she didn't think that there would be much, if anything, for last week and this week - especially since this is the last week before Christmas holidays.  School finishes on Friday.  I hope and pray that the new year has more work for me.

I might look into teaching some ESL part time during the week, or after school.  That way I could still have a couple of days (or all day if I do it after school) to teach during the day.  I need to do something to get some money coming my way.  I have to start paying my student loan back again in March.  I don't particularly want to teach ESL, but I might have to do that until I can get more supply work, or my own classroom.

Not much in the way of news.  I still haven't got my Christmas shopping started; yes, I'm one of those last minute people.  I do know what I'm getting most everyone though, so it's just a matter of going and getting the stuff.  One of the gifts, for my mom, I am going to chip in with my brothers and we are getting her something she has had her eye on.  For that, all I need to do is get my share of the money over to one of my brothers.  But, there isn't a lot of time left until Christmas.  I should go and get my shopping done on a day when I'm not working, and hopefully the crowds won't be as bad as they would be in the evenings when people are off work, or on the weekends.

My question for you:  Have you started your Christmas shopping?  Have you finished your shopping, and if so, how long have you had it finished?

A Change Is In The Air

Lately I've been trying to work on writing the novel I've been working on.  I enjoy writing, but will admit that I have a lot to learn on many different levels.  It's the same with blogging.  There are so many hints, tips, and ideas on creating blog posts that attract not only readers, but also comments.  I am trying to keep these things in mind now as I create my posts.  Like my writing, I have a lot to learn with blogging.

I started out with this blog to be a place to talk about myself - somewhat of an online journal to record my thoughts and feelings and day to day activities.  I decided that I also wanted to create posts that help others learn about Christianity, about Christ, and to learn - a somewhat mini Bible study lesson or what have you.

That worked - for awhile.  Somewhere along the line, I lost focus and created fewer and fewer posts.  I lost the readership I had (which is understandable), and my posts didn't seem to have the content I wanted.  I look back now on some of my earlier posts and wish I were creating the same kinds of posts now.  I guess I need to sit down and write some good quality posts to publish on my blogs.

A new year is within arm's reach, and with it I hope to rearrange the way I post here.  There are lots of topics and ideas that I want to explore in my blog posts, and a few of my goals for posting include:

* Thought provoking posts
* Bible based posts
* Mini Bible studies
* Character studies
* Spiritual growth discussions
* Topics posted on specific days (i.e. Mondays might be a character study, Wednesday might be about praying or Saturday might be about missionaries)

I won't promise that I will post every day, but I will try to post at least two or three times a week (maybe more), to be more consistant.  I will try not to have extremely lengthy posts as I do sometimes now (which could come from big gaps between posts and feeling the need to fill in every detail since the previous post).  And, I will try to have my posts more Christ-centered as opposed to me-centered - though that might creep in from time to time as well.

What do you look for in a blog?  What type(s) of posts do you enjoy reading?  What keeps you coming back to a particular blog you enjoy?

No Pain No Gain

Yesterday, I went and got my H1N1 flu shot.  Thankfully, lines aren't a problem at this point; I only had a total of about 20 minutes waiting, and that included the mandatory 15 minute wait time after getting the needle.  I must have gone at a good time of day (a friend when the evening before and was there for about an hour in total).  And, the actual shot didn't hurt.  The pain came later.

By the time I went to bed last night, my arm was tender, sore, and stiff.  It wasn't as painful as some people have said their arms have been.  Never the less, it was still painful.  I really don't like pain - but then I don't know too many people (if any one) who actually do like pain.

Pain is a part of our lives.  It comes in many forms - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.  No matter what kind of pain we experience, it hurts.  In my walk with the Lord, I have experienced lots of pain as well.  Sometimes it is from something negative I have said or done, sometimes it is what someone else has said or done, and other times it is because I need to go through a particular experience in order to grow.  The pain might not be immediate; sometimes it is delayed, but it will surface at some point.

Without pain in our walk with the Lord, we wouldn't have growth.  We learn from our mistakes (which can often be extremely painful), and we grow.  Most times, these mistakes help us grow closer to God and strive to be more like Jesus.  If we lived pain-free/mistake-free lives, I doubt there would be any growth and we would end up becoming stagnant or worse.

When we are facing pain, struggle, hardship, etc., it is important that we turn to the Lord and rely on Him to bring us through.  We need to trust that He knows what He is doing and use these times to grow in our relationship and walk.  Sometimes we need to learn more trust, sometimes we may need to learn how to depend on Him.  And sometimes, we just might need to learn a particular lesson.

How do you deal with the painful and hurtful situations in your life?  How have you grown, or what have you gained, as the result of those situations?

Saturday Word Wall - Wild Card

Saturday Word Wall - Wild Card

 


Here's a new meme starting up over at Momma 'Tudes.  Every Saturday she's going to have a topic for you to create a word wall using any program you want.  The one I used is from Wordle.  Today's topic is Wild Card, and you can choose any words you want.  When done, head back to Momma 'Tudes blog (see previous link) and link up to your word wall on the McLinky she has posted on her blog.

Edited to add:  For some reason I can't get the words to look clear on my blog.  If you click the pic it will take you to a larger, clearer picture over at Wordle.

Trudging Along

Since my last post, I have only worked two half-days.  Originally I was only suppposed to work this past Wednesday morning, but on Tuesday morning, the school I'd be working at on Wednesday called and asked me to come in that afternoon.  Apparently, the teacher I was replacing (I know him from church), had made a verbal agreement with one of the other supply teachers, who frequents his school, for Tuesday afternoon.  However, that morning he asked her about it again, and she said she was going to substitute for one of the other teachers.  Dave quickly had the office call me, and I agreed to come in.

The classes weren't overly bad.  There were behaviour issues, of course, as there is with every supply teacher.  I think with new supply teachers, the kids will tend to press their luck, push the buttons, etc. to see what they can get away with.  Once they know how a supply teacher is, and what is acceptable or not, then I think it might get a little better - though I could be wrong.  So far all the schools I've gone in to have been a one shot deal.  I haven't had any more calls since.

I think tomorrow I will go down to the school district office and have them make a registered copy of my teaching licence for my file.  This way I will now get paid the wages of a teacher who has a license, as opposed to one who only has a permit.  It will also give me more money.  While I'm there, I might get them to change the list of grades and subjects I will supply.  I think I will get them to add high school history, and maybe some English or social studies classes for middle school, as well as possibly teaching some ESL classes (any age/grade).  I must admit, though, I really don't like teaching middle school kids, but right now it might help me to get more work.

Things have been going along pretty well with my walk.  I've been reading the Bible daily now for about a month, and praying for my two friends (this is a daily thing we are doing), and I've kept up with the accountablilty with them as well.  I must say that I've been feeling better about my relationship with the Lord, but I have had a bit of a bump recently which put me in a great spiritual battle.  Thankfully, that seems much better.  I just hope I can overcome it again if it rears its ugly head!

I will admit, however, that I am struggling still with certain areas.  For example, I know all Christians are given spiritual gifts; I just don't know what mine is/are.  I've taken those little tests that tell you what they are according to how you answer the questions, and mine always lists Crafts as being my big one (I know it's not called crafts, but it's along those lines).  See, my problem with that is I see anything craft related (whether it's being able to build a house or knit socks) as being a talent, allbeit God given, rather than a spiritual gift as mentioned in the New Testament.  I really struggle with this (though I don't stop doing my knitting for the Lord).  I know I should pray and ask God to reveal my gift, and I have, but I just don't seem to be getting any answers.

There are other struggles in my walk that I am going through, but I'll hold off discussing those for a later post.  I guess I know that I should take this to the Lord, but it's hard when I feel as though He doesn't hear me.  Maybe this is an issue (as all of them are) that I should keep praying about, and listen for His answer.  I just want to feel as though I have a purpose, which I know I do but again I don't feel as though I do have one, and I want to know what that purpose is right now.  And no, I don't want to pray for patience because then I'll be put through situations that make me need to be patient...lol.

Maybe my walk isn't as good or as smooth as I thought it was...

Good News

Last week was a great week.  It started out pretty normal, but by Thursday, things started happening.  That morning, I got a call from the school district to tell me my info had finally been entered into their system and they had a temporary employee number for me.  From there, I had to log onto the subfinder system (what they use for supply teachers to get their calls for work) and make sure my info was correct, and basically let the system know I was now ready to get calls.  Within 30-45 minutes, I had my first call to supply at one of the local schools!

I ended up getting a little less than four hours of work because I was filling in for a teacher who had just received a call that morning that there had been a death in her family.  I was in a grade one class of about 16 students, and it turns out one of the little boys in the class is also in the Sunday school class I co-teach at church!

Thursday evening around supper time I got a call to supply for a full day at another school.  The school I was at has a bad reputation amongst supply teachers (and teachers and the public in general).  I was informed from Subfinder that I would be doing phys. ed., and so I dressed appropriately for that; however, when I got to the school on Friday, it turns out that they didn't want me for phys. ed., but for a variety of classes (basically I was floating around).  I was in a kindergarten class for two periods, a grade one class for two periods, helped in a grade two class for one period, and then had a grade six class for one period.

After teaching a day and a half, I felt drained.  I haven't felt that tired in so long.  Working with kids all day is definitely takes a lot out of you! 

Oh, I should add that Friday around supper time I got a call to work again for this week.  I had figured they were going to ask for today (Monday), but it is for this coming Thursday.  Here, there is no school for students on Tuesday because of parent-teacher interviews, as well as a PD day for the teachers.  Wednesday is Rememberance Day, so there is no school that day either.

Satuday was my big day.  I finally graduated from the Bachelor of Education program - I am finished with my schooling now, woo hoo!  It really feels great.  However, after I've been working a few years, which I'll need to do in order to get some money, there is an advanced literacy program that I would like to take as well.

As for the graduation, there were only about 38 students at the fall convocation.  There were some who didn't show up, so there were less than that for actual graduates.  For the education program, there were five of us graduating, but only three showed up (including me).  My mom and brother came, and that was nice.  I really wish my dad had lived long enough to see me graduate.  He was proud of me for getting into the program, and I know he would be proud of me for graduating it and getting my first supply jobs last week as well.

This morning I was up bright and early - ok, so it was actually dark when I got up (a little after six), but you know what I mean, hehehe.  Anyway, we can start to get calls at six in the morning until twelve, and then again from about 4:30 until 11:00 PM.  If we are going to work that day, we would get the calls typically between six and seven.  If the calls come later it could be because a teacher needs to leave early.  If we work the next day or later on in the week (or even in the month), we are supposed to get calls starting at 4:30. 

So, because I didn't know if I'd be getting a call this morning, I got up and took a shower and got ready just in case.  With about two and a half hours left to get a call to work today, should I get called to come in during that time, I just have to change and get a lunch (or snack) and leave.  I am finding that I am really tired though - I didn't get a lot of sleep last night from tossing and turning for awhile, and not falling asleep before midnight.  If I don't get a call in the next few hours, I am most definitely going to lay down for a nap!

Well, I've talked long enough for now I think.  I'm going to head off and see if I can get some photography practice in, or maybe do some knitting.  I'll try to get on here again this week (or maybe even tomorrow) and update you on how things are going in my walk with the Lord!

Have a blessed and Christ-filled day!

A Light

For some time now I haven't had the best walk with the Lord.  I don't exactly remember when I started to drift, when I stepped off the path to try to find my own way along.  I can tell you that it didn't feel too great - I felt that separation, that isolation.

I think it all started when I went to South Korea and couldn't attend an English speaking church (there were none in my area), and the church I did go to for a few weeks was nice, but it was a Korean service and the English translation was rather poor.  I think that is when I stopped reading my Bible and my prayer life grew less and less.

When I came back home to Canada a year later, I started attending church again.  It didn't feel the same.  I felt disconnected, out of place, disjointed.  I've talked about some of those struggles at that time in previous blog posts over the last year, so I won't go into the details in this post.

I have felt for some time that I need to get regrounded again, rooted back in the Word.  I know my prayer life needs improvement as well, because, let's face it...other than quick little prayers here and there, or falling asleep when I pray at night (maybe need to pray when I'm not lying down), there really isn't much of a fruitful prayer life for me.

I admit that my spiritual life felt dead - or at least comatose.  I still believed in God, still believed that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins, rose from the dead three days later and is now in Heaven preparing a place for His followers.  I know that my sins are forgiven; I know that I have eternal life.  It felt as though the spiritual waters had run dry.

Fast forward to a week ago this past Sunday.  My pastor called those who were in my situation (or similar situations, or those who wanted to renew their walk with the Lord) to come forward for prayer.  I was the only one who went forward.  I felt the Lord nudging me to go, so I went.  Pastor Jonathan prayed for and with me, and had one of the ladies sitting in the front row come and pray for me too.  After the service Pastor Jonathan and I talked for a little bit and he encouraged me greatly.

One of the things he told me to start doing was read my Bible.  He said to just read and not read it to study.  Sometimes that's what we need to do in order to get back into it.  So, for now, I am reading.  If something stands out for me I will underline it and think about it, but I am reading. 

He also said that my best friend and I should get together and pray and just talk things over.  We are both in similar situations and God is working in us.  So, we sat down after I talked with Pastor Jonathan, and we prayed for each other and decided that we were going to begin being accountable to each other.  Every day we must read the Bible (it doesn't matter how much) and pray for the other person.  Then we must email the other one and tell her what we read (we don't have to say what we learned or what we felt God telling us if we don't want to, but we are free to share if we feel like it) and that we prayed for her.  So far we have done this for the past 10 days.

Last night I decided to go to a Bible study.  Pastor Jonathan said I need to get involved in one of those as well.  I chose the one he co-hosts, and I was nervous about going.  About an hour before it started, I was feeling like backing out; however, I decided to just go and see how it was.  If I didn't feel comfortable at this one I would pick another one to try out.  But, since I did feel comfortable at this one, I think this is where I will stay.

The group was doing a character study of Peter, and I think we all learned some great things.  Not only did talk about Peter, but how we are like Peter in our own lives (i.e. what is an area in your life you want to step out of the boat with).  We didn't get this one finished, so we're going to do the rest next week.  From the sounds of it, they have a different leader every week.

I say all this to say that after so long of feeling like I'm spiritually treading water, I feel as though I'm beginning to see the light again.  For nearly two weeks now I have felt much better and more on track in my walk with the Lord.  It's as though I've taken His hand once again, and now he's leading me back to the path that I had strayed from.  I'm still struggling in some areas, but I am working on those with God's help.

I am a continuing work in progress.  But I feel like things are beginning to look up again.  Thank You Jesus!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada.  My mom and I had a sort of Thanksgiving dinner last weekend when we went out to a restaurant.  One of my brothers and his wife was in New York this weekend as they were going to a concert (not sure what one).  My other brother, his significant other, and their son (my nephew) stayed in Halifax and had Thanksgiving with Angela's parents.  Today, I went with someone special out to a Thanksgiving lunch.  It was good, but not quite as good as home made.  My mom had decided that since it was only going to be her and I this year, she didn't want to bother having a big turkey dinner.  That's ok.

We had rain for a few days recently, and on Saturday I waited for it to let up somewhat (so that it was more of a mist), put a plastic bag around my camera and went out to try to capture raindrops on flowers, leaves, etc.  I got a couple of pretty good shots, but most of them didn't turn out all that well.  It's the first time I really tried doing this, so I didn't expect to get anything really good this time around.  It's something to practice though.

Yesterday's church service was good.  The sermon was on being thankful, not only for things on earth, but to also be thankful for things to come in Heaven.  A week or two ago, the pastor had told us the food kitchen in the church (the one they use to help those who don't have enough food) was quite low.  He said Thanksgiving would be a good time to restock the shelves (though really, any time is a good time), and help those less fortunate.  So, what they did yesterday, was have people bring in non-perishable food items for the kitchen and set them up on the front steps.  There was a lot of food, thankfully.  Unfortunately I had totally forgotten about this, so I didn't bring anything in.  I felt bad about it when I walked into the sanctuary and saw the food at the front.  I'll have to bring something in another time and put in the donation barrel they keep.

I talked to my friend Gisele yesterday at church about my elbow.  I've been having problems with it in that it hurts when I bend or straighten it.  I described the feeling to her and showed her where on my arm/elbow the pain was, and she said it sounds like it's what is referred to as being tennis elbow (caused by repetitive movements...in my mind I associated it as being like carpal tunnel only in the elbow).  She's an occupational therapist, so I figured she'd have a good idea what the problem might be.  I was concerned that maybe I was getting arthritis or something, but she reassured me that it probably wasn't.  She said arthritis usually affects the hips, knees, ankles/feet, hands and not usually the elbow.  She told me about a band you can get for tennis elbow that you wear when you are doing the things that affect it (for me it would be knitting or being on the computer).  It's supposed to help so that the tendons don't rub together or something like that.  She said the problem won't go away over night, but might take awhile to start feeling better.  So, after church, I went and got one.  Hopefully it will help.

Well, not much news this weekend.  I hope anyone from Canada who reads this has a happy thanksgiving, and that everyone has a blessed and Christ-filled day!

It's October!

It's hard to believe we are into October already.  The year has flown by!  The autumn colours are in full swing now, but I suspect it won't be too much longer before they are gone.  I went out yesterday to a local park to take some photos of the beautiful scenery and met up with an older lady.  She talked about how amazed she was with God's creativity and how He's done such beautiful work - or words to that effect.  And she's right - God has done some beautiful work with His creation!

It was a great day, though windy, to take pictures yesterday - cloudy!  The colours show up a lot better on a cloudy day than they do on a sunny day.  I was thinking of going to another park to get some more photos today, but it's been raining since around noon.  I might go tomorrow or Friday if it's not raining then.

My back has been a little stiff lately, and today was the second day (not in a row) that I've taken a Robaxacet since I stopped taking them about a week after I came back from Australia.  I don't think my back is totally healed yet; the doctor did say it could take awhile for it to get better.  I think I'll have to start doing some yoga to start strengthening my core muscles.  Also, I should start doing some walking as that will help take the stiffness out too.

I want to start eating better - less fatty and greasy/unhealthy type foods - and start earting healthier things.  I also want to cut down on my portion sizes and start drinking more water and less pop.  I've started drinking caffeine-free Diet Pepsi (though I couldn't get any this week since the grocery store we went to didn't have any cans) because I want to cut back on the caffeine.  I also want to drink less pop and more water, but I struggle to drink more than a glass or two of water a day.  I also need to start exercising, not only to help my back, but for my overall health.  Today I went on my eliptical trainer for a short bit, and will go on for another short bit a couple more times (to work up to longer amounts of time).

I want to loose some weight (maybe 60-70 pounds) and get healthier.  But, to do that I need to get off my butt and just do it instead of just thinking about it.  It all starts with little steps and not denying myself things.  If I deny myself something (like chocolate for example), then I'll end up binging on it in the end.  If I can just have a little bit now and then, it's not so bad.

I am also wanting to improve on my spiritual life - reading my Bible and praying more/better.  I think I've been feeling the Lord pulling me towards Him, wanting me to get back into a better relationship like I had in the past.  I've had some things hold me back, and I'm slowly starting to realize that I instead of dealing with pain/hurt, I stuffed it all inside in a little ball and tried to ignore it.  The result was to start overeating and stop listening to the Lord and be in a constant relationship with Him.  I turned to other things for comfort instead of turning to the Lord.

So, the journey begins with a few little steps today.  I ate breakfast, had a small lunch (though I think I'm going to need a snack because I'm feeling hungry again and it's only been about an hour or hour and a half since I ate; hopefully I can hold out until supper time though), did about 7 minutes on the elipitcal trainer (I know it's not much, but I don't want to overdo things in the beginning, and like I said, I will be going on it again in a little while to get some more time in), and I've been working at drinking some water.  I will be honest though, and say that the water is sparkling water (with fizz and flavour) and it has aspartame in it...it's not the best, but it's a start.

And, on that note, I will head off now and do a little more time on the eliptical, and maybe later this evening I'll pull out my yoga DVDs and do some of that.  Have a blessed and Christ-filled day!

Friday Fill-Ins #144

1. I have a history of procrastinating.


2. How to be a really excellent (and professional) photographer is something I wish I knew.


3. I'm eating (or recently ate) Burger King - so not healthy, but oh so good.


4. I saw a dead raccoon recently on the road.


5. So that's it, that's the way the cookie crumbles.


6. Something is better than nothing!


7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to working on Photoshop Elements to edit another photo, tomorrow my plans include getting together with someone special and Sunday, I want to go, after church, and take some photos of the beautiful leaves!

There really isn't a whole lot happening in my life right now.  I'm still in limbo as I wait to attend the supply teaching information session that is being held October 26th.  I found out this morning that I have been accepted to attend (this session is by invite only).  I'm excited for this, and yet nervous.  I've heard some of my classmates (some are taking a few classes they have left in order to complete the Education program; some, like me, have finished and are waiting for graduation and teaching licenses) they aren't getting very many calls to supply.  I am hoping (selfishly) that they just didn't renew with the district to keep their name on the list.  I would, after all, like to get enough work to have a steady flow of income coming in.  I still have bills to pay.

I've been dabbling more in my photography.  I still have lots to learn, but I am enjoying taking photos.  I'm also enjoying learning to use Photoshop Elements to edit my shots.  This week I found out a better way to convert colour photos to black & white.  I was doing it one way, but this new way adds more oomph to the photo. 

I'd like to get out soon and take some pictures of different things.  I've focused a lot on flowers, but they are dying now (though my mom still has several dahlias growing in her garden).  I'm thinking of doing a study or focus on one thing in particular for a certain amount of time.  For example, maybe I'd focus on learning about light and taking pictures under different types of light - natural, candle, tungsten, etc.  Or, maybe focus on a different colour for one week for the month (taking pictures of things that are blue, or red, or purple).  I could also focus on landscapes, buildings, people, animals...the list and possibility is endless really.  I just don't know what I should do (aside from taking random pictures).  Maybe I could go on a photo walk and just take pictures of different things I see that capture my interest.  I'll figure something out.  In the meantime, if you want to see some of the shots I've posted on my photo blog, click here.

We had to take our car in again this week due to difficulties starting it.  We'd taken it in last week and thought (and hoped and prayed) everything was fine; but then it happened a few more times - the car had trouble starting again.  Turns out the problem was a sensor that was cracked.  The mechanic also told us this sensor had never been replaced and was an original.  He said the way he could tell was that the new sensors are square on the end, and this one was circular.  So, we got it replaced and the car is working great.  The next thing we have to do is take it in for the safety inspection, and that is toward the middle of the month.

Tomorrow is a busy day.  I'm having breakfast with my mom and some of her friends from the horticulture society (this is a weekly event, and I've been joining in when I'm not busy), getting my hair coloured, and going to pick up a reference letter from the teacher I had done my observation and half of my internship with.  I've asked if I could volunteer one or two mornings a week (it will look good on the resume and keep me in the classroom), and we're going to talk about that and whether or not I just wanted to help in her class, which is small this year, or if I wanted to also help in another class/grade.  Not sure what I want to do just now though.  I'll figure something out by then.

Well, heading off to read a little before bed.  Hope your days are blessed and Christ filled!

Friday Fill-Ins #143

I forgot I had followed Friday Fill-Ins, and to be honest I don't remember when.  It might have been before I went to Australia or while I was there.  At any rate, you can find the blog here.  My answers are below:

1. One week ago I was working on editing some photos with my new Photoshop Elements program.



2. I used to eat cheese when I was young.



3. Mama told me when my dad was diagnosed as terminal (esophogeal cancer).



4. Jesus died for you and me.



5. Take your time and leave a comment for me :o).




6. This too will pass!



7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing and maybe baking some chocolate chip cookies, tomorrow my plans include hopefully meeting up with someone special and Sunday, I want to go to church and then go on a photoshoot!