...to find out who I really am. I want to know who I am.
My best friend K and I were talking briefly yesterday about knowing who we really are. She mentioned some things that the Lord had revealed to her and it was similar to what I have been thinking about lately as well. While these things might not be exactly what the Lord spoke to her about, I feel that maybe the Lord was using her and her revelations to nudge me as well.
So, I need to find out who I really am. Yes, I am a daughter of the King, a follower of Jesus the Christ, but this is more than that. I mean, I hear of people being passionate about someone or something or a particular cause - I don't know what, if anything, I am passionate about. I have things I like or really like, but is it strong enough to say that I am passionate about it? I don't know. I don't feel that I am passionate about anything, so I am praying for the Lord to give me a passion about something. Now, before I go on, you may be thinking "We just need to be passionate about the Lord." Well, I am - maybe not as much as I should be, and maybe this is where I need to concentrate and put all my energies.
I am not really talking about this passion. It is more about other passions. For example, I know of a woman at my church (she is also a prof at school, though I don't have her for any classes) and she is passionate about poverty and women's rights/issues, that sort of thing. She is VERY passionate about these things and she is active in these issues. I am not comparing myself to this woman (or anyone else), but I wonder who do I get passionate about something, or what do I get passionate about?
There are so many causes and such 'out there' that people are passionate about, that they are striving to end or make others aware of something. There are so many people fighting for, say breast cancer. That is great and I applaud them. It's not something that I would like to see any woman get or have to deal with, and I support it wholeheartedly (the research, the finding a cure, etc.)...but I'm not passionate about it. The same goes for so many things. I might believe in the cause and support it, but I'm not passionate about it.
What does this have to do with finding out who I am? Well, by finding out who I am I might be able to discover something that I am passionate about, something that I am not willing to give up on or let someone try to deter me from doing something about...does that make sense?
I am not even sure where or how to begin at finding out who I am. How can I serve Him and know Him if I don't even know me. It is something I have begun to pray about, asking the Lord to give me a passion, to help me find out who I am (and that might include finding out negative things like selfishness or something which I need to change so that I am not like that)...I fear this is one of those "it's going to take a long time to discover" things, or "what if I find out that I don't like who I am, or that I am not the woman I thought I was?" things. I guess only time and the Lord will tell. I've just started this process, so I don't have any answers yet but if I continue and honestly seek to find out who I am, I am sure He will reveal things to me.
My questions to you are:
1. Do you know who you are?
2. How did you find this out?
3. Do you have something you are passionate about, if so how did you develop it?
4. What does one do to search at finding out who he/she is?