Monday, February 06, 2006

Rocking Chair Thoughts 2

Thank you all for your comments and prayers with regard to my previous post. It makes a lot of sense that a passion isn't something that happens immediately, but is the result of something that builds up over time.

I have still been praying that the Lord would give me a passion for something; not simply an interest but a passion. It doesn't have to be for some famous organization or popular cause, in fact, I think I would rather it not be popular because so many people are involved in those already.

Anyway, I have also been reading through my copy of "My Utmost For His Highest" devotional (by Oswald Chambers) and the readings for the last two days have basically been about being willing to be a sacrifice for His kingdom. The key word here is willing. I think that just might be my problem...

While it is easy to say "I am willing to do such and such for the Lord", it is not always easy to do. I think that maybe what it comes down to is "I am willing to do such and such for the Lord IF it doesn't take me out of my comfort zone" or IF it won't cause pain, etc. To me, this willing (or lack thereof) stems from fear and maybe even pride and lack of humility/humbleness. Wow...that's a shock (and I'm not being sarcastic about this either). This last part just hit me know as I was mulling it over in my mind, and thinking of what to write next.

What does this have to do with having or finding a passion? Well, I want a passion for something that shows Jesus, something that will help to further the kingdom of God, something where His light shines through to others...that sort of passion. How can I do that if I am not willing to sacrifice for Him? Am I willing to give up my spare time, am I willing to talk to others I might not normally talk to, am I willing to step out of my comfort zone - step out of the boat so that I can walk on the water?

Fear. That will stop anyone from doing anything. Fear does not come from the Lord, but from our enemy satan. He does not want us doing anything for the Lord - not leading others to Christ, not showing His love, etc. So, he presses our buttons and whispers in our ear that we will fail at whatever task we set out to do, that others will laugh at us or our beliefs, or even whatever it is we are wanting to do or attempting to do won't be beneficial to the Lord. He'll tell us anything to stop us.

Pride. I'm not talking about the "good" or "positive" pride such as being proud of a job well done. I am talking about the pride that the Bible speaks about, that we should not have. Pride also stops us from doing things for the Lord. Pride stops us from opening up to others, to our fellow brothers and sisters of the Lord, to let them know we are hurting or need help. So often we want to do "it" on our own, we don't want help from someone; so often we don't open up because so and so might gossip to others about our situation.

Humility/humbleness. Is a lack of humility or humbleness the same as having pride? I don't know, but to me it seems to go hand in hand. If we aren't humble about something chances are it is because our pride is getting in the way. That is just my thought on the matter, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly how that fits in with passions...I'm sure it does, but I haven't formed an adequate explanation to put it into words just yet.

I need to be willing to let the Lord use me. I need to be willing to step out of my comfort zone I think. I'm totally fine with doing for the Lord providing I can stay in my comfort zone but really, what does that do? Sure, I can keep to myself and pray for others, I can knit for the mitten tree, I can talk on the internet to others about Jesus...I'm not placing myself in situation where I might have to be put in the fire to be tested. That is scary.

So, anyway, I think I might have also found my next topic for my next post in my thoughts tonight...we'll see. Anyway, I think that maybe if I become more willing to step out of my comfort zone, maybe the Lord will place me in a situation where I will develop a passion for something...who know's. I'm just thinking aloud, or rather thinking in type I guess you could say. But I do strongly feel that after praying last night my answer to "why don't I have a passion for something" is that I need to become willing...

Hope this all makes sense. Have a Christ filled day!


Hikingalong said...

Shelley, thank you for sharing this. I'm facing a job change right now and the fear of the unknown has been weighing heavily upon me. Thank you for the reminder that fear doesn't come from God but from Satan. I needed to hear that today. God bless you!

Jennifer said...

Shelley, I’m really amazed at your honesty. Everything you said is so true! Fear and pride are the biggest enemies when it comes to stepping out of that comfort zone. I keep telling God I’m willing to be a missionary to the Cayman Islands, but He hasn’t opened a door there yet. Meanwhile, I walk right by open doors all day long. Why? Fear and pride! Awesome post.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Shelley, you've obviously been praying for the Lord's guidance...Just keep working it that way and things will be fine!

Jeff H said...

Stick with the Oswald Chambers.

And notice, please: I've now not only visited, I've commented.


Prayerful Knitter - Shelly said...

Bless you Shelley. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so honestly. This is a special gift.


Dawn said...

Hi Shelley,

I think as human beings we get so caught up in looking for a 'cause' that we overlook Him. Talk with Him, and then get on with your daily life. If He has a cause in mind for you He will show you.

Dawn said...

Btw Shelley . . . jeff h is correct. Stick with Oswald Chambers.

Joe said...

Stepping out of one's comfort zone is so....uncomfortable.

Jezreel said...

Oooh, I know exactly what stepping outside one's comfort zone feels like - you saw me do it on my own blog. Thanks for your comments on there, it wasn't an easy thing to write.

Love Jez

Maggie Ann said...

Hi Shelley, Your tender heart for Christ is something special to see. Blessings to you as you seek his will and see what he would have you to do. You bring to my mind, Mary and Martha, for sure you are in his will to be sitting at the feet of Jesus, pondering these things. Just to be willing is a gift to Him by its self.

Amy said...

Shelley, I echo what the others have said and I pray that God will show you His leading.

BTW, I forgot that you "tagged" me. Is this the tag post? :-)

Jayleigh said...

Shelley, I believe you're absolutely on the right track. You're praying for a passion for something, you're praying for His will, praying for something which will give all glory and honor to Him, and praying for willingness. All you need to do is wait for Him to give you the go-ahead... the realization that you KNOW what it is and then the burning desire to do it.

"I am willing to do such and such for the Lord IF it doesn't take me out of my comfort zone"

Truer words have never been written. So we need to pray for strength and courage to carry out the will of the Lord. :-)