Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Think God Is Speaking To Me....

Ok, well I was just going to post a short note saying that I believe your prayers are working regarding my cold/allergies. I've taken only a couple of cold pills and my symptoms are not really there now...so I believe I am better :o) thanks for the prayers!

Now, last night I was feeling very very stressed out over Hebrew. I hadn't looked at it since last April when school was done. Didn't know they'd be doing an Advanced Hebrew course so I didn't bother to keep up with it. Now I wish I had known so that I could have. We have our first test next week and I am soooo unprepared for it. I'm forgetting things, can't recognize verbs, etc. I can recognize mostly if it is feminine/masculing, singular/plural...but can't always recognize what verb it is. So, naturally me being me I began to panic and get rather upset. I was on the verge of tears thinking "what have I got myself into!" and such things.

Well, I decided after an hour to put it away since I was in no frame of mind to be able to try to translate and I instead tried to focus on God. It was hard. I put on a CD and listned to "Days of Elijah" for 1/2 hour straight...nothing other than that song. Only reason I picked that song was because it was the only one I hadn't heard in awhile and felt like listening to. Anyway, somewhere along the line I was able to take the focus off of myself and put it on God. I went to bed and prayed after the 1/2 hour. I poured out my heart to God, told Him the fears I was having recently regarding school and after I am finished with school, getting into the Education program, etc. Now, here is basically what He said to me (mind you it's a loose paraphrase as I didn't actually hear a voice...but you get the point):

"Ok Shelley, you remember that story you wrote that is being published, the one about Luggage Larry? Honey, unpack your suitcase."

So, guess what I did. I unpacked my suitcase and gave Him my worries and fears. I felt less stressed this morning (which was really when I did this) and most of the day. I found that there were a few times when I had to unpack my suitcase again and again.

I say all this to say that there seems to be a message that God is trying to give me. First there is what I just mentioned, and secondly today and yesterday I have run across a couple of verses that I believe God is wanting me to recall and use in my life. They are:

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." as well as Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."

I believe God is telling me that I need to seek Him in everything. He needs to be first in my life, ahead of school, family, myself and so on. I need to ask Him, seek Him. I need to give Him my problems and struggles, focus on Him and allow Him to work His plan. Whatever happens after I am done my BA (if I get accepted or not into the education program), how I'll do in Hebrew, and the list goes on...these all need to be given to Him and I need to put my trust in Him that He knows what He is doing.

Basically, I need to give God back the control of my life. I need to include Him in every aspect, in decisions, studying, etc. I need to stop trying to do it on my own. I need to stop worrying so much and stressing out. I need to do my best and if I only get a C+ instead of a B+ it's ok because I did my best. You see, I'm one of these people who feel that if I don't get a B- or higher (preferably higher) then I must be dumb. I think that might be a pride issue, but not sure.

So, that is what God has been telling me the last few days. It's going to be hard to do, but I have to do it, and it will probably be one of those on going daily things...probably have to do this several times a day. But the good thing is, God is in control!

Have a blessed and glorious Christ filled day!


Matthew said...

God is speaking to you. All of scripture is God speaking to us. And this is one of Jesus' primary teachings to his disciples, who he knew were worried about everything around them, from the pharisees disdain to the roman occupation... to where and what they were going to eat even.

LK 12:4 “I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that have no more that they can do.
LK 12:5 “But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!
LK 12:6 “Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God.
LK 12:7 “ Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

Mt 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Lk 12:25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?
Lk 12:26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Mt 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Mt 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

You forgot the most important verse...my favorite..Phil 4:13...I can do ALL things thru Christ, who strengthens me!
Apply that one to your studies and you'll make it just fine! God Bless. I'll pray for you!

Jayleigh said...

God bless you, Shelley! ((hugs))

It's been one of those weeks for me, too. Funny, I was just thiking of the "Seek ye first" song a few days ago.

Isn't God *always* trying to get our focus back on Him? And I know that I am always trying to strike out on my own again.

I totally understand what you're saying here and thank you so much for sharing it. It's blessed me beyond belief this morning.

My prayers are with you, friend.

Jennifer said...

Shelley, that is so incredible! Thank you for sharing yourself so honestly and putting your vulnerability out there. I struggle with the exact same thing. I find it interesting that God chooses to speak so clearly when we are down (either physically or emotionally). I haven't heard of Luggage Larry, but I have definitely heard "Honey, unpack your suitcase!" :0) Thank you for being such an encouragement, even when you're sick.

MaY said...

We are both in the same path Shelley, you're just handling yourself way better than I am.

God is always there to help us, all we need to do is acknowledge we are weak and we NEED Him.

God Bless you!

pia said...

hi, shelley. thanks for visiting my site. you know, when things don't go the way you want it, it's so hard and it becomes a struggle. you're right, i shouldn't mind what other people think or say. what matters most is that my hubby and i have each other. i guess i should also do the "luggage larry" thing.

thank you for that reminder. i needed that now.

M. C. Pearson said...

Very insightful...I never took Hebrew (and most likely never will) and I'm horrible at most other languages. My husband on the other hand was a linguist in the Army (German, Russian, Serbo-Croation) and took Greek for *fun* at the Christian collage. Anyway, stick with it...God will use all of your experiences in ways you had no clue about. Rather cool. Also, remember the lilies of the field? Don't worry, God has you in His loving hands.

Jayleigh said...

Thanks again for this post yesterday. It has helped me greatly to unpack my own suitcase.


Joe said...

"Basically, I need to give God back the control of my life."

Don't we all?

Ray said...

I feel where you are coming from, I often find myself "picking up" the luggage all too often...If we learn to look back at all the things that He has already brought us through then we should be able to handle whatever comes our way...He is soooo patient with us!