I'm tired.
A few times I've been exhausted.
I think things are starting to catch up with me. These feelings come with the territory, though. But that doesn't make it any easier.
Taking care of an ageing parent is no easy task - especially when you can't leave that parent alone.
Mostly I have been fine, but the last few days I have felt the exhaustion creeping in. I felt like crying for no reason, and I just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. We have caregivers come in three times a week for three hours each time, but during those times I don't get any rest. I'm usually running around paying bills, getting groceries and doing errands. During the night, I do sleep, but there are times when I need to get up to help my mom so I'm not fully resting - at least not always, because I'm probably, in the back of my mind, listening for if my mom calls me to help. I do get a little rest during the day, though, when my mom is taking a nap after lunch. Still, I'm starting to get that overwhelmed feeling, that feeling of cabin fever (because I can't just get up and go or leave the house whenever I want).
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to help my mom, to be here for her. But I could really use some extra help, someone to come stay with her for a weekend or two or three days during the week so I can have a little break and get some rest and relaxation.
I know, at this time and always, I need to rest in the Lord. I need to give him my load and take His yoke (which is light). It's not always easy to do or remember to do. I need to make the conscious decision to do this. I can't do any of this without His help. Right now, I just wish I had a Bible study group that I could go to. I can't even get out to go to church (though I do watch In Touch on TV on Sundays). I'm not complaining; I'm just stating things how they currently are.
I'm OK, though. Honestly. I just needed to vent a little and have no other outlet at the moment. My fiance is awesome and talks me through things, gives me the reminders I need, and supports me. He is such a blessing, and I am very thankful he is in my life. I don't think I could do this without his help. I love him him to pieces.
Well, I must go now as I have to finish getting supper ready. Hope you have a fantastic day!
P.S. Prayers are always welcome!!
