Once again, I am faced with a decision to make. I feel torn between this choice and the choice of being with my mother.
I have been praying about this decision, this choice, and I must say that after discussing it with my fiancé and the prayer, I am leaning toward this choice. I have prayed and asked for wisdom and to know without a shadow beyond a doubt (due to my mom's situation), that this is the right choice to make. I'm looking toward my future.
Yes, I have fear and nervousness regarding this. But I am learning to trust the Lord over and over again, and this situation is no different from others in the past.
I am going to take the first step in this. I will never know if this is my path or not if I don't at least try. There are only three possible outcomes - yes, no, and later. I will have one of these answers regarding this situation, and regardless of the outcome, God is in control and will continue to take care of me and provide for me.
I will say that after praying about this, I have had a great excitement - something I haven't had in this situation in a long time. This has surprised me somewhat as I thought I had lost the excitement a year or so ago. Maybe the little 'break' I've been on has been what I needed to rekindle a passion, to jump start a calling.
We will see what comes of the situation. I will continue to pray and ask that if you are reading this you will pray for me as well. Pray that I make the right decision, pray that everything will work out, pray for wisdom and guidance, and that I will glorify the Lord and be obedient to His calling.