Not until the past few weeks of talking with S. We've had some good heart-to-heart conversations and he's helped me to make some revelations. I didn't realize how much I've been holding on to, and I've been listening to the enemy's lies and letting him have control far too long.
I'm not going to go into details, because it doesn't matter on here. I will say, however, that I know I have a lot to work to do in overcoming my fears, etc., and, I have begun the process of trying to heal. I won't overcome all of this overnight. And I certainly can't do it on my own. Only God can help me. But, I need to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. I need to let Him work in my life and stop hindering Him; stop pushing Him away, thinking that I can do this on my own. Because, I can't.
I am adopting a key verse from the Bible that I am currently clinging to:
"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." Psalm 139:14
This verse is my starting point. This verse is something I need to remind myself daily - or as many times in the day as need be. I am fearfully and wonderfully made!