Sunday, November 06, 2011

Mishmash

We had our first taste of winter the other day (aside from a few cold, windy days here and there). I woke up Thursday to a little snow on the ground - not sure how much, but it wasn't a whole lot. I had to go buy a pair of mittens that evening as I forgot to bring mine with me when I moved. I was looking for a scarf and hat as well, but didn't see any I liked. I'd make these items myself, but in all honesty, the yarn selection here isn't the best.

I'm finding lately that by the time Friday comes, I'm quite tired. I suppose it's because I'm not used to having a full time job and also because of all the work involved in being a teacher, getting used to the class and the kids. We've been in school now for three months (well, as of tomorrow) and I still don't think I'm as organized as I'd like to be (or should be). Setting up a classroom for your first ever teaching job is definitely a challenge - particularly when you don't have all the supplies you need/want, and you can't get them all for one reason or another. Most teachers I know have accumulated things for their classes over a number of years.

I've been feeling somewhat stressed lately, but that's normal for being in the situation I am in - at least I think it is. Maybe it isn't, and everyone else has it "all together" and I don't. Or, maybe they just know how to "fake it" and make it look like everything is running well for them and they aren't stressed at all. Either way, I've got to find a way to not make myself be stressed (because I think in a lot of cases, I'm the one causing the stress for myself by making things harder than I need to). I guess it's one of those things that happen until you get everything in order...and hopefully when that happens, I won't feel as stressed as I do at times.

I suppose bouts of loneliness and homesickness don't help make things better either. This usually happens on the weekends when I'm not as "on the go" with school as I am during the week. And, it doesn't happen all the time either, but it does happen. All my family live on the east coast. I came out here by myself, alone, for my job and I often wonder at these times, would I feel this way if I was married and came out here with a husband and/or family?

At these times, I try to turn to God and lean on Him and allow Him to comfort me. But, in all honesty, I don't always feel comforted. I also have to wonder if I'm under a big spiritual attack. I'm sure that factors in at times, but it certainly feels like it happens quite often - I left everyone and everything I know back home to come to a place where I know no one, trusting God to provide the way and the job (at a Christian school no less), even all the way back to 2002 when I quite the job I had then to pursue what I really felt was God calling me to be a teacher. As I said, I'm sure there are spiritual attacks aimed at me at times, but I just don't know when it is that or when it is just me creating stress (or whatever) in my life.

I've so many jumbled thoughts in my head at the moment - thoughts about work, stress, my walk with the Lord, family, etc. that I can't seem to write anything - other than random thoughts - or make things connect. So, I'll sign off for now and just ask your continued prayer for any of the above things I've mentioned.

Blessings.