Friday, October 15, 2010

Wake Up Call

I'm sitting here this morning, in the living room. I'm on the couch, and the cat is sleeping in the chair across the room, occassionally snoring (or what sounds like a snore). It's quiet except for the fishtank in the dining room.

I've been trying to come up with a something to write about here, but not much was coming to mind. I surfed some other blogs, reading and hoping to spark some ideas along the way.

I just finished reading Michael's post and had a thought. I has totally nothing to do with what he wrote about though.

If you've been reading this blog for the last while, you'll know that I've been in a valley with a lot aspects in my life (I'll spare you the details). While writing my comment for on Michael's post, something popped into my mind.  Here's my thought process, however weird and jumbled it might be:

1. I need to learn to just "be" with God in those times, just "feel" His presence, and know that He's there - and then turn off my thoughts...or give them to Him. (this is part of my comment from Michael's post)

2. I seem to have been going through this valley for some time now. Why?

3. Maybe this is a test - I'm supposed to be learning how to rely on God, not myself or others to fill me up.

4. I think I might have a great photo to go with part of the verses I read in the Bible this morning. I should upload it in Elements and add the scripture to it ("As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer." Psalm 103:15-16).

5. My past is that flower in the field and the wind has passed over it. It's no more, and I'm at a point where I can start over again. At least that's how I feel. Everything I've learned and done (regarding my walk, my  ministries, etc.) reached a point in time where it needed to rest, to learn to trust - to start over.

6. I need to start over. Sure things went well in the past, but that's just it. They are in the past, and I need to stop living there and let God take me into the future - and more importantly, the present. If I keep holding onto the past, onto what was, how can I experience the present and the future?

7. I need to start over. I need to start from scratch (if that's possible) and relearn the basics. Maybe that's what I need to get me out of this valley. Start from the beginning, start with the cross.

So, that's where I am. I do know I need to put more focus on the Lord in my life. I guess I've let other things become more "important" than I should have. I guess I've replaced what is most important to me - and that is so sad. Hmm, maybe that is the source of my problem! I've created other gods (little 'g') in my life and gave them God's (big 'G') place.  Unlike Daniel (from a couple posts ago), I have defiled myself by eating at the king's table (not the King of Kings)...

Wow, what a wake up call!


Michael said...

My dad tells me don't "do" but "be."

I think you are definitely onto something.

Shelley said...

Thanks. I think your dad has some good advice.