Wednesday, June 14, 2006

At Least I Can Relax Now...

Well, prayer meeting was tonight. I want to thank all who prayed for me. I got up and spoke, was VERY nervous (though I was told that I didn't sound nervous at all - my voice didn't shake or anything), and intimidated because instead of there being about 10 like the associate pastor told me usually attends, there were about 40!

I messed up, and I don't think I did good at all. I sat down and wanted to bawl my eyes out, and a few tears did escape (though I caught them before they could fall down my face). I felt awful and humiliated and felt like I wouldn't be able to show my face at prayer meeting again (course I didn't want to show my face at church either). The pastor got up after me, thanked me and agreed that it was a hard Psalm to work with, especially on such short notice (with not much time to prepare). I let him take over and he gave a much better talk.

People came up to me after though and told me I did a great job, told me I was courageous and they could never do that, said I stepped out of my box, etc. The president of the university I went to (he's also a pastor) was there (he goes to my church) and he came up to me and told me I did great, that I included everything I should have - context, application and said not to stop doing that but to keep up with it, keep practicing. He said I have a real gift for teaching, so that was nice to hear.

I let everyone know that I had never done anything like that before and how nervous I was. I also told them that the passage was a hard one to work with, and when the pastor got up to take over he told them it was extremely difficult and that it's not one that you would normally pick to work with in situations like this.

Afterwards, he (the pastor) came over and thanked me and said that he's going to get me to do it again sometime and I sort of reluctantly agreed but told him to give me more notice next time. He agreed that it was on short notice, and that contributed to the fear and stuff.

The comments that some of the people gave me were nice and encouraging. Some of them I don't know if they were honest or if they were just trying to be nice, but I do know that the university president would not lie about something like that. He would give constructive criticism, but he would not tell you that you did good if you really didn't. So, from him I take encouragement from his words, and that's a nice feeling. I do appreciate the kind words people had to say.

I know I didn't do the best at it, and I made sure they knew it was my first time doing that sort of thing, the passage was hard, etc., so I think they were somewhat understanding. Anyway, if the pastor does follow through, I'll be doing another one some time and hopefully I will improve a great deal on it.

At least now I can relax for awhile...

10 comments:

Annette Burkett said...

I think we tend to be a harder critic on ourselves than anything. I'm sure the ones that God wanted to heard past any fear and even the mistakes you made! I wanted to come by and let you know too that you are in my prayers everyday this week! Things have been hectic, but I haven't failed to pray, which I firmly believe is why I've made it to this moment.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Praise the Lord...it looks like you did very well. We are always the most critical of ourselves...sometimes that is good because then we strive to do even better. Just don't let it paralyse you..

Good job...God bless!

Jayleigh said...

-The president of the university I went to was there... and he came up to me and told me I did great... He said I have a real gift for teaching...

Shelley, doesn't this say a HUGE thing? The president of the university said you have a gift for teaching! I think it's not all done yet with you and teaching, Miss!

**hugs**

I am so proud of you! And it doesn't matter if the people who complimented you really meant that you were awesome, or if they meant you were awesome for having the courage to get up and do it... because both ways, their hearts were in the right place.

Bless you, dear friend.

eph2810 said...

You know, standing in front of so many people and talking it is not an easy thing. Especially if there were more people than you had expected to be there...
God will used this to let you grow and He surely was with you in front.:)

Shelley said...

Thank you all for your kind praise and encouragement!

Debrand said...

Hey Shelley! Congrats on doing so well! I feel the same way when I have to get up to talk but I've discovered a key ingredient...love. I believe that those listening love me and that Jesus will talk through me. It's all about Him after all. God bless.

PresentStorm said...

Isn't it amazing the thing you can do with Christ as your guide and strength? I guess that is why he lets us feel weak and unable alot of times... So we can know it is through him and not ourselves.. I bet you did way better then you think you did. We all have a tendancy to be way harder on ourselves...

Keep it up you never know who you may be blessing :)

Thanks for stopping by my place!!!

Joe said...

Well done!

The thing I always have to remember when I am called on to speak is that it is not about me or how well I do, it is about Him and how well He does.

Pastor Josh said...

It is so often that we do criticize I ourselves way to much. You have to remember that when you speak it's not you speaking but God. So if you criticize what you say. You are criticizing God's words. I took me a long time for that to sink in. Now that it has. I enjoy preaching infront of people. Because it's Gods way of getting His teachings and His word out into the sould of others. Keep up the good work. You did great.

Katie said...

Hey shelley, it's been a while for me to comment (sorry not gone just quiet). I just wanted to tell you that often the hardest part isn't getting it right but doing it at all. You took the hardest step and got up there and spoke your heart. That alone is beautiful and such a blessing to anyone who heard you.