I Have To Be Responsible

There is a big responsibility that comes along with taking care of another person, whether it's an ageing parent or a child.  Since I've not had any children to raise, I wonder if taking care of a parent is on the same scale?  Is there more to raising one than another? Maybe it depends on the age of the child (or adult).

I've just begun to help take care of my mother, and I am realizing every day just what is involved.  I need to make sure she eats (and eats enough), takes her pills, gets ready for the day, and has her bills paid - just to name a few things.  I don't mind though.  My mom took care of me and my two brothers when we were children, so now it's our turn to take care of her.

One thing that was pointed out to me, by my loving fiancé, is that I also need to remember to take care of myself.  To me that is harder than taking care of my mom.  For example, I will get her lunch or supper ready, and unless it's a meal that I make for both of us, sometimes I don't feel like getting something for me.  At supper tonight, I reheated leftovers from yesterday for mom (there wasn't enough for both of us and I wanted to make sure she had a good supper).  I had to decide what to make myself.  Honestly, I wasn't all that hungry and didn't feel like eating anything, but I knew I had to.  What good will I be to her if I am unwell from not taking care of myself?

I also need to remember I have a network of supporters to help me - people I can call on to pray, someone to go out for coffee with (when I have someone coming in to help mom), a friend to call, etc.  This is an important part as well. If I isolate myself, the stress can still build up and be damaging.  But, relying on others for support will definitely help.

There have been moments when I've felt rather stressed lately, but I've been trying to remember at these times to pray and ask God for His strength and help during those times, and to trust him. I can't do this on my own, and I need to remember that. When I do remember to pray (and even ask others to pray for me at those times), I feel more of a sense of peace, more strength, and able to get through the difficult times.

The next however long is not going to be easy, but with God's help I can do this!

A New Look, A New Bible Study, and Possibly A New Self-Discovery

I thought it was time for a new look on my blog, and this is the (free) design I decided to go with.  What do you think?  I like the colours, the brightness, and it makes me think of summer back home.

In my last post, I mentioned about being sick with the flu. Well, I also ended up with a cold and it lasted a couple of weeks.  Although I had a little bit of the cough left, it wasn't bad and it was pretty much gone.  Well, last Saturday (about two weeks after I had been sick with the flu) I woke up to a congested cough and have had it for the last week.  I've had a bit of sneezing and runny/stuffy nose with it, but it's mostly been the cough that doesn't seem to want to go away.  And, Wednesday I ended up with my right eye being a little itchy and by the end of the day it was red and watery as well.  No, I didn't (and don't) have pink eye.  The redness has pretty much disappeared (except if I've been on the computer too long), but it's still watery and the itchiness only lasted a little bit at work - though I guess from time to time there is a little bit of an itch, but it's not bad and it doesn't last.  I really can't wait until I'm all better again.  I hate being sick.

I decided to take this weekend to rest and hopefully get myself better.  I've been catching up on some knitting (started a new fair isle hat), a little reading, and I've been working on the Bible study for the one we recently started for this session at my Monday night Bible study.  Tomorrow is a holiday  here (Family Day), and I keep forgetting and thinking I have to go to work, but I don't.  I hope to do some more knitting and maybe some art journalling.

In my Bible study, the first chapter is dealing with the verse that talks about not worrying about tomorrow (well, there is more, but this is the part I want to focus on).  I'm a worrier. I think I get that from my mother.  Part of the study includes journalling our prayers.  I've written down prayers in a journal before, but just specifics like "praying for my cold to go away" and then drawing a line to write the date when it gets answered, as well as the date I record it.  This one, however, is requiring much more than that.  We have to write down the actual prayer we would pray, the situation, etc.  So, while I was doing that, I made a discovery (it probably came from the Holy Spirit) that my worry seems to be rooted in fear and lack of trust.  I won't go into specific details, but that is what I am concluding so far.

I hope through this Bible study I will grow in my faith and walk - and in other areas of my life as well.

Well, I'm off now to watch some more of the Olympics and cheer for the Canadians!

Go Canada!!

Today Was Picture Day

Since coming back after summer vacation, my BFF and her daughter have been staying with me. My BFF got a job at the school where I teach, and her daughter goes there now.

I only have a one bedroom apartment, but they were staying with me - a tight squeeze, but we managed well and no one killed each other! In fact, I think we all got along rather nicely. On Monday, they moved out into their own apartment - the same building only one floor down. It's been quiet since they left, and I find that I am getting used to quiet again. I enjoyed having them here, though, and they aren't that far away. I'm sure they will enjoy having their own space now.

Today we had picture day at school. When it came time for my picture (not the one with my class, but my individual picture), I wasn't too thrilled about getting it done. I don't like having my picture taken. I'd rather be behind the lens taking the pictures. Anyway, the photographer took several (as all photographers should) and she showed me the last one that she took. Amazingly, I liked it! I never like the pictures of myself - or at least I rarely do - so when I saw this one, I was pleased. I can't wait to get it back!

I've been tired these last few days, and over the weekend I was fighting a cold. It's been weird, because this time and one time not long ago, I was fighting a cold and neither time lasted more than a few days.  I've never had that happen before. I usually get colds for a week or so, not a couple of days. I was talking with one of the other teachers, and she was saying the same thing happened to her. I'm just thankful it didn't last long (I hate being sick...but then who does?). But, as I said, I've been quite tired the last few days and that might be from not getting as much sleep (thanks to the cold meds) or just being run down from the cold. Tonight I laid down on the couch around five and woke up around eight thirty. Hopefully, I'll be able to sleep tonight!

At least the weekend is in sight...

Have I mentioned?

I've gone through a couple boxes of Kleenex already. The nose spray is dwindling down. The Vicks VapoRub has been consitently slathered on. And, The cold pills and NeoCitrine have been ingested every four hours for the last several days.

My nose is running, though that seems a little more recent, I'm congested (that's starting to clear up a little), the sneezing is gale force when it happens, my ear has become somewhat "clogged" (though I can still hear), and I've now developed a raspy, barking cough.

I'm sick.

I hate being sick - mind you, I don't think I know of anyone who actually enjoys being sick, but I digress. I've been fairly lucky this winter season; this is the first cold I've had in awhile. Thankfully, I don't think it's the flu as I don't have any aches, pains, or fever. I've been dealing with this now since this past Saturday - five days. I hope this bug doesn't last much longer.

"If anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick..." (James 5:14-15)

While I don't expect you all to rush up here and anoint me with oil, I sure would appreciate your prayers, offered in faith, for my health to be restored. I hate to complain, so I'll stop here with my post.

Have I mentioned that I hate being sick?

Update

I guess I haven't written here in a little while. I didn't want to keep focusing on myself; I wanted to get back to the types of posts I made originally when I first started this blog. However, that has been on hold...mostly because I am having difficulty creating good and interesting posts. I also wanted to take the bulk of focus off me, but sadly this post is going to be about me again.

As I've mentioned before, I've been having problems with my sciatic for some time now.  A couple of months ago I went for an X-ray, but that didn't reveal anything much so I continued to take the Advil (which helped some). The pain eventually got more frequent and I wasn't too keen on having to take so many pills to help ease the pain...though the Advil would help get rid of any inflammation that was happening.

Nearly two weeks ago, the pain was still a little worse so I made another appointment with my doctor (which he told me to do) to see about being sent for an MRI. Well, I talked to him again and he examined my mobility (how far I could bend and lift my legs until the pain came), and he could tell it was worse than before.  I inquired about physiotherapy because a lot of people were telling me to try that. My doctor said he didn't want to send me to physio and didn't think chiropractors would work (well, he said they chiropractor might help some but then I could do something such as sneeze or cough again and have the same problem all over). So, he scheduled me for an MRI and is going to refer me to an orthopedic surgeon who would have more knowledge and know more of what to do about my situation.

This past Friday, the pain had greatly increased and I could barely get around...no fun! The only thing that I seemed to be able to do was lay down. Everything else gave me pain. The next day I woke up and made it out to the living room to sit for a short while. That was very difficult to do, as walking was painful at this point as well. I managed to make it back to my room, and I remained there the rest of the day!

I didn't want to stay in bed, but I was in excrutiating pain and I could barely move at all. Keep in mind that during all of this I have had a cough which had not helped matters any (still have the cough somewhat). Every time I coughed I was in agony! The ibuprophen (either Advil or Motrin) didn't seem to be helping much, and neither was the Robax Platinum I was taking at times either (it seemed like my muscles were stiff and tight).

I couldn't stand the pain any longer, so we ended up calling the ambulance to take me to the hospital. Like I said, I was in agony. couldn't move and the muscles in my were either having spasms or cramps. Once I got to the hospital, they took good care of me. The nurse I had, and the on-call doctor, were both great. I got three shots - one for pain, one for relaxing the muscles, and one to help inflammation. It took about half an hour to kick in, and then the got me up to see if I could walk and to see how much pain (if any) I had at this point.

I was never so thankful for medication! After getting those shots at the hospital, I was pretty well pain-free for the first time in awhile. The doctor sent me home with prescriptions for pain meds, an anti-inflammatory, and a muscle relaxer; I'm still taking these, and I believe I have enough pills to last for a week. They seem to be helping so far, but I still have some pain. I am thankful that I am back to being able to walk, I can sit up for awhile (though I tend to have to lay down again shortly after because my back still feels sore), and I can cough without pain...well, I do get a little bit now and then but nothing like before.

So, that's where I am at this point. I'm waiting to hear when I'll get an appointment for the MRI and an appointment for the orthopedic surgeon. Please pray that I can get both appointments ASAP because I want this taken care of before school starts in September (I'm a supply teacher), because that's when I will start back to work.

Tuesday

I mentioned in the previous post about my back bothering me lately. Since Sunday it hasn't been quite as bad, though I'm not sure why. I'm glad it's feeling better, however, I am supposed to go for an x-ray on my back, and I would rather have that done when my back is hurting - that way it might show something that's causing the pain (though the doctor didn't think anything would show up).

A friend of mine called me Sunday night and asked if I was working on Monday. I said no, and she booked me to fill in for her. She also ended up calling me and booking me to fill in again for her today. This was the first time that I've taught high school. I must say I enjoyed it, and found these kids to be a lot better attitude and behaviour wise than the middle school kids I've been teaching. Even though I enjoyed these classes, I think I would still teach the younger elementary grades.  I'm also working tomorrow, and I'm scheduled to work Friday morning as well. This has been a great week for work since I haven't been getting much lately. So, because of the work, I won't be able to get the x-ray done again just yet. If I don't work on Thursday, I'll be going then. Otherwise, I won't be able to go until next week (our car is going in for a bit of work on Friday afternoon, so I can't go then either).

Not much else for news to tell. I'm hopefully going to be going running tomorrow night with the group at the Running Room tomorrow evening. We are scheduled to run 3 mins/walk 1 min tomorrow night (according to the e-mail they sent out to us), and the next night aim for 4/1. I'm not up that far yet, but I'll do what I can and will have to motivate and push myself to do more running on my own time to help myself to be able to keep up to the others as much as possible.

Tonight I've got some stuff running through my mind, and I've feeling a little down. I hope I can get it out before bed so that I can get some sleep tonight and not be tired at work tomorrow. I think part of what is bothering me is the way I look. I want to improve myself - lose weight and get healthy (and also exercise every day). I guess I haven't been seeing the results that I would like, and it's discouraging. However, I need to remember that I'm older now and it's going to take more effort. I also need to remember that it's good to lose it slowly, and that way it's more apt to stay off. However, I'm not feeling very positive about this at this time. I have to get my mind out of the negative thinking - otherwise I'm going to sabotage myself if I don't.

Well, not much else to say, so I'll head off for now. God bless!