One Word 365

Last year (or was that the year before?) I had decided to join in the One Word 365 challenge where you choose one word and work on that for the year. For example, someone might choose the word “relaxed” and that was what they would strive to work on for 365 days – becoming relaxed in certain situations, learning how to relax in the midst of chaos, etc.

I had worked on my word, and I honestly can’t remember what it was, for a few (or even several) months and then promptly forgot all about it.  After recently seeing others around the blogsphere begin sharing their words for 2014, I decided to attempt it again this year.

I’ve chosen to focus on the word motivation.

Why motivation? Because I find that I can lose it quite quickly as well as over time.  It can start in January after I make some kind of resolutions (though I tend to not make any resolutions because I end up not sticking with them) or promises to myself of changing eating habits, exercising, reading my Bible every day, praying more, etc.  Before I know it, those resolutions or promises have been thrown out the window – sometimes I just “forget” that I’m working on changing a habit, and sometimes I get frustrated because I don’t see immediate results (I’m an instant gratification sort of gal, and I get easily discouraged if I don’t see the results of doing something right away – but that’s a story for another time).

This year, I’m going to work on keeping my motivation or finding new and/or improved ways to motivate myself in whatever it is I’m attempting to do or make.

And while I’m definitely no expert in motivation (which I seem to prove over and over again), I think I need to work on changing a couple areas in my life that could help me get and keep motivated in other areas of my life.

1.        Eat properly – I need to change up my eating habits. I need to eat healthier       foods, I need to eat properly balanced meals, and I need to cut down on the “junk food.”  While this will also benefit other areas in my life (i.e. weight loss), I’m sure eating better, and getting the vitamins my body needs, will help me feel better physically and contribute to keeping motivated in other areas as well.

     2.      Exercising – that dreaded 10-letter evil word.  Yes, I definitely need to be exercising.  It has its own benefits, naturally, but if I exercise I will start to feel better physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually (at least I’m hoping it helps with that).  Feeling better in these areas, which will then help me feel better about myself in general, should also help lead to keeping me motivated.

    3.     Getting Enough Sleep – this is an area I can often struggle with.  I am a natural born night owl.  I function better later in the day, the evening, and at night. This has been an issue I’ve dealt with (or struggled with) all my life.  I can try to adjust things by going to bed earlier, getting up earlier, etc. but it’s torture at times, and I find myself falling back into the night owl routine. I end up needing naps when I come home from work because I’m so tired (which will then affect my sleep pattern for the night), I need more coffee, I can get a little cranky at times, and this is something that DEFINITELY sucks the motivation for anything right out of me!

So, these are three areas that I am going to work on to help me with motivation.  Of course, there are also areas that will be beneficial in the long run with my overall health, so it should be a win-win situation, right?

Now, to just keep motivated at these things…it’s not going to be an easy task!

Practice Makes Perfect

This was day two of being back to work since having two weeks off for Spring Break.

I must say that although I didn't do much, I was able to relax, catch up on rest, catch up on reading (I read about five and a half or six books during that time), and I even managed to do a little bit of cooking.

But, as I said, I am back to work now. And these past two days have found me exhausted by the end of the day!  I didn't expect to be quite so tired so soon, but then I realized that I am getting used to being on my schedule again.

Recently, towards the end of Spring Break, I discovered journals. I was on Pinterest looking for ideas to use in class, and somehow I came across some art and Scripture journals - or at least pages that people have created for their journals. I really loved the way they looked and how they were set up.  I'm not an artist, but I do like to play around with paint and draw from time to time (though it hasn't been much lately, but I did take painting lessons for a year about ten years ago, and I also took a drawing class in university about six years ago).  Seeing all those creative pages inspired me, and I want to try some myself. I don't have much in the way of supplies, but I will make do and see how this goes.  This might be a good way for me to practice painting and drawing - and being creative. I've got a few simple pages done, but didn't have any pencil crayons or anything at home to colour them with (I'll need to work on that). Also, the paints I have are water colour and the journals I'm using aren't set up for that so I think I will cut up some of the water colour paper I have (into smaller pieces) and use that and either make my own journal or just lay them separately in a box/container loosely.

We'll see how it goes. If any of them turn out decently, I may share them here or on my knitting/craft blog (which I haven't updated in eons because I haven't been doing any knitting).

One reason I decided to attempt these types of journals was because I'm always saying that I wish I could draw and paint. Well, the thought occurred to me...if I don't practice these things, and try, then of course I won't be able to do it. I can't expect to just pick up a pencil or paint brush and be able to create beautiful images! It takes work - practice - and only then will I be able to do these things and develop my own style. I have to put in the work if I want the results. I need to be disciplined in this.

That goes for anything - learning something new, losing weight, perfecting a skill. Practice makes perfect as they say.

And, some day I hope to glorify the Lord with my creativity. It might not be now or any time soon, but if I keep at it, that day will come!

It's A Brand New Year

It's a brand new year, and I want to get back in the habit of reading my Bible daily, and spending more time with the Lord than I have been. So, yesterday I started reading in Luke 1.

The part that stuck out to me was verse 6, which says, "They were both righteous in the sight of God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and requirements of the Lord."  The 'they' who are being referred to are Elizabeth and Zacharias, the parents of John the Baptist.  They were old and Elizabeth was barren. Yet, Gabriel appeared to them and brought the news that Elizabeth would have a baby in her old age.

As I read verse six over and over a few more times, it made me wonder if that might be a reason as to why I am not married and have kids - because I'm not righteous in the sight of God and I don't walk blamelessly in all His commandments and requirements.  Do I need to improve my 'walk' and spend more time in the Word and live a more Christ-like life before any of this will happen for me?

I just wish it would happen soon (the marriage and kids). I'm not getting any younger - especially with my birthday looming around the corner in less than three weeks!

Today, in chapter 2, the part that spoke out to me was part of verse 7, "...because there was no room for them in the inn."  This is, of course, referring to the birth of Jesus and the fact that He was found lying in a manger (which is a feeding trough).  Even as He was being born, people didn't have room for Him. It makes me stop and wonder if I have room for Jesus in my life?!

Lately, (or for awhile), it seems like the honest answer would have to be no.  I would like to say how devout I am, how Jesus always comes first and has room in my heart, in my life, but I need to be honest about it.  Most days I am consumed with thoughts of work, work itself, what I want to do or need to do, things I'd like to have, places I'd like to go, and even just relaxing.  I watch TV, I'm on the computer a lot, get together with friends - but for awhile now, I haven't been making time for the Lord in my life.  Yes, He should get first dibs on my time, my day, but often that doesn't happen.  Oh, I'll try to squeeze in a few little prayers during the day, or before I go to bed, and try to claim that as my "time" spent in God's presence. Or, I will simply read a chapter in the Bible and not meditate or pray on it.  But let's face it...that isn't quite time that is spent with Him.

I need to be spending quality time in the Word and in prayer if I want to be able to hear Him or have Him speak to me.  And how can that happen if I don't take the time to be with Him?

A good part of any relationship or in communication involves listening.  If I want to hear from the Lord, then I need to stop all the talking I do to Him, all the business and laziness in my life, and just sit and listen (or prayerfully listen)...or even throughout the day be more conscious of His presence and the fact that He might be speaking through someone else to me.

It all takes effort (and something like 30 days for it to become a habit), and practice to make it a daily part of my life.  And, that is something I need to work on!

Not That Anyone Is Reading

For a short work week, it seemed to drag on. Tuesday and Wednesday flew by, but most of Thursday and all of Friday was slower than cold molasses going up the hill backwards. And I don't know why.

I'm thankful this week that my class was pretty well behaved - no problems or anything. I hope it keeps up!

I've been quite disciplined with my goal of reading the entire Bible in the rest of 2012. I've got 22 books completed now, and I'm just about half way through Proverbs. I may have said before that I'm focusing more on reading the shorter books first, that way it will (hopefully) give me the motivation by looking at my list and seeing so many check marks for what I've read. It might help me to keep on going - especially when I muddle through the longer books in the Old Testament.

I'm also keeping disciplined fairly well in other areas in my life, which is also a positive step forward. I'll talk about those things another time, however.

We've been  getting good weather lately, however Friday night and yesterday we got snow! It wasn't really a lot, but any amount in April is too much in my opinion. Today only reached +3C, but it was enough to melt a good portion of the white stuff.

Well, I'm just going to keep this short for now. Hopefully I can update with a much better post next time. I don't have a lot of news, and I haven't read or been inspired lately to write a good post. But, I did want to update my blog - not that anyone is reading, but that's OK.

Have a Christ-filled day!

Spring Break - Day 7

I have enjoyed these last few days, and I'm looking forward to the coming week as well - we have that off too. I found out today that the public schools also have 2 weeks off at this time, so it's not just our school (which is private).

Cross pattern on a chicken egg

Thursday was pretty much spent doing pysanky (Ukrainian egg dying). I did two eggs, and those took the better part of the day, because it is a long process - depending on how detailed the egg is.

I just learned how to do this amazing craft last fall. It's a process of putting beeswax on the egg, dying it, covering the parts you want in that colour in wax and dipping it in a different colour, and repeating the process until you are done.

Here is the end result of the first egg I did yesterday. I got the pattern off the internet, and it was from a colouring page. I used purple (which looks blue here), green, and black. The white is the egg shell.  It's not the best, but remember, I am still learning this art.

My own design on a chicken egg

The second egg is a design I created myself. I used only yellow and black (again, the white is the shell). I'm not really satisfied with this one as it is still looking like a kid did it, lol. But, in order to improve, I have to keep practicing and learning. I eventually want to get really good and be able to do intricate designs, etc.

Right now, I only have a medium sized kyska - the tool used to put the wax on the egg. It doesn't allow me to make smaller lines, so everything looks "big". I plan to eventually get a smaller kyska, but for now, I'll keep using this one. I will have to get more beeswax soon though as the "block" that came with the kit I ordered was small. I thought it was going to be bigger than it was, or else I would have ordered another one or two when I got the kit.

When Christianity came to the Ukraine, they began to incorporate Christian symbols in their work. This is one way I would like to be able to glorify and worship God through, but again, I need lots of practice.

Friday was spent with some co-workers. We went out to the principal's home and had a BBQ and played games with him and his wife. One of the other teachers, R, was babysitting and brought the boy along to play with the principal's son. There were five adults, and the two kids, and we had a very nice afternoon.

Today, I went and finally got my hair cut - it was desperately needing a cut! I also decided to treat myself and get my nails done (gel) as I haven't had them done since 2002. I am satisfied with how both my hair and nails turned out.

***********

Last night as I was reading my Bible, the passage that stood out to me was 1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  I first memorized this verse when I was a part of a Bible study in my first or second year as a Christian.

This was a good reminder that God does forgive our sins, but we must confess them to him first.  I think sometimes I "forget" that my sins our forgiven  - mostly because the enemy likes to keep reminding us of them and of our failures, etc. So, every once in awhile, it's nice to get the reminder from the Word, from God, that our sins our forgiven if we ask.

Thank You Lord for forgiving my sins!

Lately, I have fallen a little behind in my disciplined behaviour of reading my devotions and Bible, and praying. I'm not beating myself up for that though, but I am making a more conscious effort to make sure that every day I do my readings and spend time in the Word. I also find that I tend to say a lot of little prayers throughout the day (like if I'm on facebook and see that someone has requested prayer for a person or situation, I will stop and say a prayer at that moment), rather than keep everything for the end of the day and forget something.

I don't think there is any right or wrong way to pray - we just need to do it. And, even though God knows our prayers long before we put them into words, we still need that communication with Him. He wants us to spend time with Him and talk with Him - and it's also important to not just pray, but to listen for His still small voice. I am working more at making prayer a two-way conversation with God, and not just me speaking/praying a monologue. I haven't mastered this yet, but I'm working at improving!

This has turned into a far longer post than I had intended, so I will sign off for now. Have a Christ-filled day!

Where Has the Time Gone?

I haven't been too disciplined in writing in my blog for nearly a month. I'm sorry for that.

It seems the last three weeks I have been sick with quite a cold. It seemed to be on the way out after about a week, and then it came back again. And it almost went away again, and came back. I'm at the point of it almost going away - but now I'm thinking there is more than a cold involved. It might be sinuses or allergies included as well. Whatever it is, I wish it would leave! I'm not the only one at work in this situation - there are a few others, and that doesn't include the kids in the school who've been sick as well.

Since my last update, I have been pretty well disciplined with Bible reading and my devotions. There've been a couple of days where I didn't read my Bible or devotion, and one of those days was yesterday. However, I am pleased with sticking to this "routine".

My Bible reading does need to improve though. Several days it only included reading over Ephesians 6:10-18 (The Armor of God) on weekday mornings...because I am finding that these are they days I really need to be covered by the armor. These are the days when I often feel spiritually attacked. So, I read over that passage, and then I pray on the armor so that I am protected. And you know what? It has worked!

Last evening, I went with my friend, R, to a Chinese food buffet. I haven't been to this place before, and one of my other friends recommends the restaurant. I think it's a chain, because R has been to this restaurant in another city. She didn't find it to be all that great, so she was reluctant to go. So we went.

I tried a couple of new dishes - Singapore noodles (I think that's what it was called), and ginger beef. I enjoyed both, especially the noodles. I enjoyed my experience with this place, and I will definitely be going back. Even R found it to be much better than the other one she'd been to in the past. The price was reasonable as well, and that is always a good thing.

While we were at the restaurant, we were discussing losing weight (which we both need to do). We are thinking of going to Weight Watchers this week, probably on payday. I need to be more disciplined in eating better and exercising, so this might be what I need to help in that area.

I originally joined Weight Watchers back in 1994/1995, and was very successful with it. I lost 70lbs and looked and felt great. I kept the weight off for about a year, when I ended up going through some situations that resulted in slowly putting all my weight back on (it was a long process of gaining, it didn't happen over night). I would like to get back to where I was when I was at my smallest, but that is going to take lots of hard work and discipline.

I know I can do it, because I've done it in the past. This time, I plan on including God in the picture as well. I wasn't a Christian the last time I did it (and as a side note, the lady who was the group leader at the time turned out to be a member of the church I ended up attending when I became a Christian - how cool is that!). So, I think by including God in this process, it can only help.

I've been quite busy with work lately, so that has also contributed to my lack of posting. We have our Spring Break coming up at the end of March (for 2 weeks), and I'm looking forward to that. I'm not going anywhere or doing much, but that's fine by me. I can use the time to relax, as well as prepare some lessons for the next semester. I'm also hoping that maybe someone will be going to GP for a shopping day during that time, and that I can tag along. If not, that's OK as well.

So, what have you been up to lately? Let me know in the comments!

As Though The Curtain Parted

Last week, as I read my devotions (I have been fairly disciplined in that so far this year), I came across a couple of sentences that really spoke to me. They said:

Don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment - accepting things exactly as they are - and search for My way in the midst of those circumstances.*

When I read those words, it was as though the curtain parted and I could now see what I couldn't before.

For several years now, I've often thought and wished that I still had those same feelings of wonder and excitement that often accompanies a Christian when s/he first accept Jesus as Saviour. It's the time when you feel invincible, that nothing and no one can deflate the swelling of your heart as it fills to overflowing with desire to be like Jesus, to make Him proud of who you are, and the fire burns bright and strong.

I wish I could say that I know the exact moment or time when the fire diminished,but I can't. Along the dimly lit path I walked, I was aware of becoming tired and worn out. I wondered if I was actually following the Lord's leading, or if I was setting off down the road and leading myself.

I grew weary. I held back. And instead of calling out for support from the One who leads, it seems as though I let Him go on ahead while I sat to catch my breath. Now, I know that He does not go off ahead and leave us behind; He stays with us and waits. He's there to help carry us, to guide us, to lead us. But my problem is, I don't think I ever accepted His help in that matter. I never asked. And it felt like He left me on my own.

I think what I did was to try and carry on my way on my own merits. I didn't stop to say, "Hey, I'm a little winded here. Can you help me along?" or "Carry me until I catch my breath again." Think of a little child walking beside her father. She's tired from the journey so he reaches down, picks her up, and carries her until she gets her strength back. That's how I felt...only I tried to keep up the pace without being carried. It didn't work very well. And, there are still times in my life when I feel that way - tired and weary on this path.

In the last couple of years I have often thought, ""If only I felt the way I did in the beginning; If only I had the fire I had back then." And that's really the crux of my situation.

I shouldn't be thinking about what it was like then. That's the past and there is nothing I can do about it. If I'm living in the past, I'm certainly not living in the here and now - and certainly not putting my focus on what I could/can be doing for the Kingdom.

As the devotion says, "things are they way they are now" and I need to seek the Lord in my current situation and take it from there. Start fresh and anew. I can't get the past back, and I certainly won't get the fire ignited again if I don't tend to it.

I need to discipline myself into not thinking/worrying about the past, and put my focus on today. God can do great things in and through me if I'd only let Him. And by focusing on the past, I'm not allowing Him to work in my life.

Do you focus on the past, present or future?

* Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, page 23

Doing It All At Once

I've been thinking, lately, about my One Word 365 word - discipline.

You see, I tend to be a perfectionist in many aspects of my life and since deciding to take part in One Word 365, I had this overwhelming urge to apply it to every single part of my life...all at once.

Talk about setting myself up for failure!

There is no way that I can be disciplined in every single thing in my life all at once. If I do that, then I won't fully apply the discipline I need. Basically, it would only be done in a half-hearted manner, or I would only do it for a short time before moving on to something else. In the end, I wouldn't really be disciplined at all.

So, right now I am trying to focus on becoming disciplined in a few areas at a time. The first area is in my Bible reading and devotions. As I've mentioned, that hadn't been going too well for me for some time. However, since January 1st when I started OW365, I've read my Bible and a devotion each day. That's 15 days. It's not much, I know, but it's a start.

And that's the important thing - to start. You have to start somewhere, and you're not going to become an "expert" at anything if you don't take those first steps and start whatever it is you are trying to discipline yourself with/at.

Once you start, you need to keep going. Don't give up. Keep doing it until it becomes second nature. If you mess up and miss a day or two, don't give up - start over.

As I mentioned above, I'm not going to work on everything I want to discipline myself at all at once. If I do that, I know I will give up after a short while. Why? Because If I'm not "perfect" at everything from the get-go, then I'll end up feeling like a failure and just stopping everything. I'm only human, and I can only do so much at once.

Now, with some of the areas in my life at which I want to be better disciplined, I can do more than one thing at a time (such as with the Bible readings and devotions...I can work on other things while doing that as well since it doesn't consume every waking moment of my life -gasp!). So, I am also working at becoming more disciplined in my classroom - staying later and doing my work there rather than bringing it home and maybe not getting everything done that I should for the next day (or waiting to finish it up the next day). I can tell you that by doing this (staying later), I feel much more confident in my next day's lessons and I don't feel as stressed out because I can relax once I get home - even if I am now staying until 5:30 each day (school gets out at 3:00). There are some things that I will still have to do at home even after staying for 2 1/2 hours after work, but at least those things don't stress me out.

I can also work at disciplining myself to eat healthier and get some exercise while working on other things. So, I've been taking little steps with this area. I'm trying to consciously eat more fruit and vegetables and less processed foods (so far this hasn't been working as well as I had hoped, but I'm not totally disciplined in this area yet - it's something to continually work on), and walk more - which is a lot easier since I don't have a car now (not my choice, since where I now live it is not very easy to get around without a vehicle...something to save/work for).

Like I said, I'm taking little steps and not trying to do everything all at once. I'm making a list of things that I want to accomplish, things at/in which I want to be more disciplined and not trying to tackle it all at once - after all, there are still 350 days left in the year (or is this a leap year?)!

How are things going with your One Word 365 so far this year?

True Dependence

 I read something interesting this morning in my new devotional that I wanted to share. It said, "True dependence is not simply asking me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to me with an open mind and heart, inviting me to plant my desires within you." (page 6 of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

So often we (and I include myself in this) decide to do something or work at/on something. We begin working away and then pray and ask God to bless it. Quite often we don't pray and seek what God wants us to do, what He desires for us; instead, we take the plunge first and ask for blessing after. That is totally backwards for us Christians.

We need to seek the Lord first, find out what what He wants us to do, where He wants us to go, etc. After all, it's not about us, about what we want. It's about what He wants. God wants us to do His work, obey His will for our lives. When we set out to do our own fill and fulfill our own desires and then seek God in the matter, we are not depending on Him.

I'm not saying that God won't necessarily bless the things we do, even if we don't seek His will at first, but know that when we are in His will, when we are fulfilling the dreams and desires God has planted in us, He will definitely bless that. If you seek God's will, follow the dreams/desires He has given you, it shows that you are depending on Him and not yourself.

I know I am guilty of putting the cart before the horse, running off ahead and then asking Jesus to catch up, or asking for God to bless my desires rather than what He desires for me. I want to be more disciplined in seeking God's will first, following His desires for me over my own. I'm not even always sure if what I desire is what He desires for me, but that is something I need pray about, something I need to work at.

Do you truly depend on God, or are you like me and tend to run off ahead and then ask for His blessings?

Is It A Habit?

They (whoever they are) say it takes 30 days to make something a habit. I wonder if making yourself disciplined in one or more areas in your life is the same...or maybe discipline is just really another habit?

If creating discipline is like creating a habit, then I've only got 27 more days to go!  It's day 3 and I am feeling drained tonight. But that might just be because I only got about five hours of sleep, started back to work today (after the Christmas break) and left at 5:30.

I've got a couple more lesson plans to do up tonight, for tomorrow, but I'm feeling like I might need to go to bed early. I want to be prepared for tomorrow, so I think the best thing to do is just work at the lesson plans and come up with something - and pray for the energy, clarity of mind and the perseverance and discipline to finish it up before going to bed.

I Looked Up The Meaning

I decided that I would start off my One Word 365 by looking up the meaning of my chosen word, discipline. 

According to dictionary.com, one of the meanings of this word is: to bring a state of order and obedience by training and control.  This meaning is more suited to what I was thinking of accomplishing this year through One Word 365, though there are 11 other meanings that could apply as well.

Shortly before Christmas, I purchased a new devotional. It's called "Jesus Calling" and it's written by Sarah Young. My first act of discipline is in creating quiet time with the Lord - something I had gotten away from.

My life verse, since back in 2002 when I obeyed the Lord's calling to become a teacher, has been Jeremiah 29:11-13 (though I added verses 12 and 13 a few years later). Since graduating with my B.Ed. in 2009 and throughout my struggles in trying to find a full time teaching job, I have tried to cling to these verses, to the hope and plans God has for my life. It hasn't always been easy, and I'll admit that there were times I doubted. So, I had to smile as I read the devotion for January 1st. Yup, you guessed it. It was based on Jeremiah 29:11 (the other verse used is Romans 12:2, which is also fitting for my One Word 365).  The devotion speaks of not clinging to old ways and renewing your mind. As I said, this is very fitting for me right now (and always).

Today's devotion speaks of putting the focus back on Jesus, especially when your mind wanders when spending time with Him. I definitely struggle with this - trying to pray or spend time with the Lord and within moments, it seems, my mind is off wandering to the things I need to do, events of the day, etc. I know this is definitely an area in my walk where I need to be more disciplined. I want to hear Jesus when He talks to me; I need to get my mind off the distractions and focus on Him. It's hard though. But, I will pray that the Lord will help me in this area, and He will because He desires to have me spend time with Him.

In closing, I would like to add that I'm not just using the devotional. I'm also reading my Bible and praying the Lord will speak to me through it, His Living Word.

Question of the day: Do you have a life verse? Is there a devotional you enjoy using in your quiet time with the Lord?